i ain't no hero

[musesfool]

My niece and nephew came over and we had a nice family game of May I, which possibly was one of the most intense games I've played. We started out this time with four decks of cards instead of the usual two (we always have to add at least one more for the last hand anyway), so you'd think it would have been easier, but no. It's like, you KNOW there

Comments

[soundingsea]

If I like someone's writing, I don't generally stop liking it all of a sudden. I do, however, read fic at highly sporadic intervals, due to my extreme lack of time. Somehow I doubt I'm the only person in that boat...

Probably the thing that makes me freak out the most is the whole no-response-from-requestor in ficathons. Other than that? If people aren't commenting, I assume they aren't reading for their own reasons. (I figure that it's pretty clear what you get from me, so I'm doubtful that people start my rather short stories if they aren't interested in finishing them.)

I do have the whole "I write pairings and characters with limited appeal" with which to comfort myself, of course...

Oh, the interesting bit about comparing! Hmm, I usually feel like I'm writing something so different from what other people I know are writing, I can't really compare feedback. I will admit to having been jealous of feedback in Yuletide once. But what I told myself is that no two stories are the same. For whatever reason, response to a different story was stronger. That doesn't mean anything negative about my story; it exists independently of the other one.

[musesfool]

Everything you're saying makes sense and I understand it and often tell myself the same things. But I also understand that all the actual reasons people don't leave fb don't always work in the face of an OMG EVERYBODY HATED MY STORY freak out, and I think most of us have had those at one time or another. And I just think it's weird that the general fandom norm is to pretend like we don't.

[soundingsea]

When I was new to LJ, I posted some kind of challenge story incorrectly - early, I think? - so I went and privatized the entry. Then a couple of days later I went, edited it, changed the date, and made it public.

As you can imagine, nobody saw it. But I didn't understand why, and I pretty much freaked out. I was able to laugh at myself... eventually. I still remember how the bottom fell out of my stomach when I saw that I had zero comments.

I think that's happened once or twice since then, but fortunately, I got my first experience with that particular trauma out of the way early!

Hmm, I wonder if the norm is so we can try to look all cool and casual, like we don't care? Because yeah, that's obviously completely unrealistic.

[musesfool]

Eek!

Last fall I posted to a comm and forgot to actually include the link to the story, and then I was like, wow, I guess this pairing was even less popular than I thought. *facepalm*

But that kind of technical error provides a lot more peace of mind than just not getting a hoped for response, or even the response you've become accustomed to.

I've learned over the years to manage my expectations down, but sometimes I am still stung by it, and it takes me a few days to get over it.

I wonder if the norm is so we can try to look all cool and casual, like we don't care? Because yeah, that's obviously completely unrealistic.

I think that's part of it, and I also think that in a mostly female space, a lot of us have been conditioned towards the kind of modesty that doesn't allow us to take pride in our work or enjoy accolades for it, and to admit to wanting praise is unseemly and arrogant and entitled.

[soundingsea]

Last fall I posted to a comm and forgot to actually include the link to the story, and then I was like, wow, I guess this pairing was even less popular than I thought. *facepalm*

Hearing this makes me feel better. :)

the kind of modesty that doesn't allow us to take pride in our work or enjoy accolades for it

*nods* I think this is probably right on the money. Stupid socialization!

[musesfool]

I'm here to help. *g*