Change one moment in your past (Prompt 16 muse_manifesto)
They were always telling me that I had to stop jump without looking, without thinking. And by "they" I mostly mean B, Angel, Giles, and all their little groupies back in Sunnydale. I never really heard too much about that in relation to slaying back in Boston. Back there, I was the number one slaygal. They must have been right though, cause I lost control in that one moment. It's so weird to think about one little moment in your life being the springboard, the catalyst that launches you spiraling down into one fucked up mistake after another. I never wanted to hurt anybody, not really but after I killed Finch it got really easy to start hurting people.
I just wasn't thinking, that's what it all boils down to. I was just throwing myself into the fight like all of the rest and when this guy jumps out of the shadows at me, I just reacted. I didn't think about it, just figured he was another bad guy ripe for the slaying. Find it hard to believe that I'm the first slayer ever to make that mistake, but I might as well have been for the way they treated me after that.
If I could go back I would have slowed myself down, made myself pay attention. Knowing what I know now I could be a little more careful. But if I went back I would have never learned what I know now and I'd probably just make the same stupid mistake again. So much for wanting what you can't have.
Muse: Faith Lehane
Fandom: BtVS/Ats
Word Count: 269