(no subject)
Whew back from tour. Oh my gawd it was so good for my heart and felt really great to go on extended adventures. I'm dealing with some upkeep after tour now, though, emotionally and logistically. Moving into a new house, getting food stamps, ect. Figuring out some emotional stuff that came up on tour that I didn't have time to process then.
Something I'm working on getting better at is being tactful about stuff. For years I've worked on being able to be honest with my feelings and express myself, but I think there are certain situations and circumstances where being completely open with someone about what your feeling isn't always productive. And that isn't implying that lying should be the alternative, but more of just a "I think I might actually need to work on this myself rather than talk to you about it" or a "I don't think it's going to help for me to talk about it with other folks." I had something come up on tour that was an issue of my own, that was also very triggering to my partner. I didn't really know how to deal with it on tour, so after tour was over, I brought it up. This really upset them and made them feel weird about me, understandably. And after the fact, I feel like it wasn't the healthiest way to deal with my feelings and that it roughed up our relationship some. It might have been a better idea to process it myself and work through it rather than trigger the crap out of my partner and make her feel self-conscious around me. Being close and honest is important, but also being tactful and knowing when something is better left unsaid and worked on individually is also important.
Something I'm working on getting better at is being tactful about stuff. For years I've worked on being able to be honest with my feelings and express myself, but I think there are certain situations and circumstances where being completely open with someone about what your feeling isn't always productive. And that isn't implying that lying should be the alternative, but more of just a "I think I might actually need to work on this myself rather than talk to you about it" or a "I don't think it's going to help for me to talk about it with other folks." I had something come up on tour that was an issue of my own, that was also very triggering to my partner. I didn't really know how to deal with it on tour, so after tour was over, I brought it up. This really upset them and made them feel weird about me, understandably. And after the fact, I feel like it wasn't the healthiest way to deal with my feelings and that it roughed up our relationship some. It might have been a better idea to process it myself and work through it rather than trigger the crap out of my partner and make her feel self-conscious around me. Being close and honest is important, but also being tactful and knowing when something is better left unsaid and worked on individually is also important.