(no subject)
Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuooooooooo...
In a train station about to depart on another Portlandian adventure. I realize that it's been a pretty long time since I've been outside of Olympia for any extended period of time. I think it's also been a pretty fair amount of time since I have been outside of my own shell as well. The past couple weeks have had some pretty steep curves and bumps to work through, which makes sense that I would have to cozy up by myself for a little bit to figure things out in myself. Especially around embracing impermanence, and understanding and accepting death. Learning to grieve while also remembering how to take care of myself and do what is best for myself. Also, with spring coming and finding myself feeling more attracted sexually and emotionally to people, remembering to think about my sexuality and be really aware of male-socialized behavior and distinguishing emotional and sexual attraction from behaviors that are acting out oppressive culturalization. Hoiii I realize that sexuality is still a really fucking confusing thing for me. Bluhhhhh. But butbut learning learning learning all the time eeeee!!!!!!! Always growing honk Honk.
But right now I want to re-learn to extend my heart again and be open to connecting to the universe in a multitude of ways and expressing love to everyone and now be afraid of being honest and true to my heart, even if it means super awkwardcore. Being outside of my own personal space helps me do that really well, because all of a sudden I have no cozy personal space to hide back into. It puts me in a place where I have to be more vulnerable to people and a lot more emotionally open.
Okay adventure here we go wuwuuuu <3 <3 <3
In a train station about to depart on another Portlandian adventure. I realize that it's been a pretty long time since I've been outside of Olympia for any extended period of time. I think it's also been a pretty fair amount of time since I have been outside of my own shell as well. The past couple weeks have had some pretty steep curves and bumps to work through, which makes sense that I would have to cozy up by myself for a little bit to figure things out in myself. Especially around embracing impermanence, and understanding and accepting death. Learning to grieve while also remembering how to take care of myself and do what is best for myself. Also, with spring coming and finding myself feeling more attracted sexually and emotionally to people, remembering to think about my sexuality and be really aware of male-socialized behavior and distinguishing emotional and sexual attraction from behaviors that are acting out oppressive culturalization. Hoiii I realize that sexuality is still a really fucking confusing thing for me. Bluhhhhh. But butbut learning learning learning all the time eeeee!!!!!!! Always growing honk Honk.
But right now I want to re-learn to extend my heart again and be open to connecting to the universe in a multitude of ways and expressing love to everyone and now be afraid of being honest and true to my heart, even if it means super awkwardcore. Being outside of my own personal space helps me do that really well, because all of a sudden I have no cozy personal space to hide back into. It puts me in a place where I have to be more vulnerable to people and a lot more emotionally open.
Okay adventure here we go wuwuuuu <3 <3 <3