(no subject)
Mmmmmermermemremrrer winter adventures. In thinking about the past two weeks out of school I realize how many adventures I've been on. Wowowow a lot! Woo! I think it was well needed. Another few days in Portland again. This time for new year's, where it was spent with some lovely chickenhed folk in someone's basement that was converted into a rave cave. Woofoofoofoof ravey. Mushroomy emotional reset, cleared-ness. It was actually a really intense and kind of sketchy party at times. A lot of people's issues came out and were on the surface of many interactions, which in one way was empowering that everyone was being vulnerable to each other, but in another was overwhelming to see so many of my friends in hard places. I felt like I made some very heartfelt connectors with some folk and overall was a good experience for my heart.
A few things come to mind lately. One being where I might move after this next year at evergreen. The idea was Portland, and still is a very appealing idea. I think in doing so I would learn a lot about myself and extending my heart to the world in a way that I have never done before. In a place that is less familiar to me. Where I feel like I did a lot of exploring on my own, without as strong a support network establish. A new stretch of horizon that I'm yet to see on my own! Fooof!
But sometimes I wonder if the financial place moving to Portland would put me would be difficult to finagle and would be a lot of stress. Especially with jobs not being the easiest thing to come across right during an economy crash harharhar. I think this is also coming to mind because I am realizing that I am not the best at holding onto money right now. Partly because of traveling a little more, but mainly because the idea of getting some music-making equipment to assist in making fabulous tunes is very appealing. Hrmmm. I mean I think it will get to a point where I am like "okay, I have what I need" and cut myself off. And then I'll just save up all this plentiful financial aid money harharhar. I just want to keep myself in check as far as what I buy, and that I don't stretch myself thin to the point that I can't move to Portland next year if I wanted to. Ehhhh money is weird. Buying things is a weird thing for me.
One more weekend and then back into school mode. I know it will be rough again, but I feel more prepared for it and having a break was exactly what I needed. Okay okay here we go <3.
I think there are more things I could talk about in specifics but maybe not enough energy right now. Hoooof
A few things come to mind lately. One being where I might move after this next year at evergreen. The idea was Portland, and still is a very appealing idea. I think in doing so I would learn a lot about myself and extending my heart to the world in a way that I have never done before. In a place that is less familiar to me. Where I feel like I did a lot of exploring on my own, without as strong a support network establish. A new stretch of horizon that I'm yet to see on my own! Fooof!
But sometimes I wonder if the financial place moving to Portland would put me would be difficult to finagle and would be a lot of stress. Especially with jobs not being the easiest thing to come across right during an economy crash harharhar. I think this is also coming to mind because I am realizing that I am not the best at holding onto money right now. Partly because of traveling a little more, but mainly because the idea of getting some music-making equipment to assist in making fabulous tunes is very appealing. Hrmmm. I mean I think it will get to a point where I am like "okay, I have what I need" and cut myself off. And then I'll just save up all this plentiful financial aid money harharhar. I just want to keep myself in check as far as what I buy, and that I don't stretch myself thin to the point that I can't move to Portland next year if I wanted to. Ehhhh money is weird. Buying things is a weird thing for me.
One more weekend and then back into school mode. I know it will be rough again, but I feel more prepared for it and having a break was exactly what I needed. Okay okay here we go <3.
I think there are more things I could talk about in specifics but maybe not enough energy right now. Hoooof