(no subject)
Have you ever felt as if you were just fucking worthless? Have you ever felt as if you wished for nothing more than to be wiped off the face of the universe forever, without a trace, just so you don't have to bring misfortunes into anybody else's life? Right now, I can honestly say I wish I was dead.
Do you know how absolutely horrible it feels when the one you love most never tells you her problems when she's down, and when she finally does one time, you have just one fucking chance to prove yourself, but you make everything worse? You just have to open your dumb fucking mouth and say the dumbest things?
WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP!!!!
Sometimes I think my life is like a fucking Hatebreed song. "How can I help you if I can't even help myself" blah blah blah bullshit. Because that's honestly how I feel all the time, especially right now. I would honestly kill for my girlfriend, I would die for my girlfriend. But when I fail at cheering her up, I feel like dying for her in the sense that I would never have to plague her with my shitty advice ever again.
"Just hang in there." WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?
She doesn't deserve to be with somebody like me. In reality, however, she's all I fucking have. She's all I fucking want. If I don't have her, the rest of humanity is fucking dirt to me. I am fucking dirt to myself.
I am not good at anything. I am not good at being a boyfriend, I am not good at any type of job, I am certainly not good at being a shoulder to cry on, I am just hopeless. Hopeless is what I am, and hopeless is what I shall forever be.
This will be the bane of my fucking existence.
Do you know how absolutely horrible it feels when the one you love most never tells you her problems when she's down, and when she finally does one time, you have just one fucking chance to prove yourself, but you make everything worse? You just have to open your dumb fucking mouth and say the dumbest things?
WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP!!!!
Sometimes I think my life is like a fucking Hatebreed song. "How can I help you if I can't even help myself" blah blah blah bullshit. Because that's honestly how I feel all the time, especially right now. I would honestly kill for my girlfriend, I would die for my girlfriend. But when I fail at cheering her up, I feel like dying for her in the sense that I would never have to plague her with my shitty advice ever again.
"Just hang in there." WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?
She doesn't deserve to be with somebody like me. In reality, however, she's all I fucking have. She's all I fucking want. If I don't have her, the rest of humanity is fucking dirt to me. I am fucking dirt to myself.
I am not good at anything. I am not good at being a boyfriend, I am not good at any type of job, I am certainly not good at being a shoulder to cry on, I am just hopeless. Hopeless is what I am, and hopeless is what I shall forever be.
This will be the bane of my fucking existence.