Love needs a better definition

[murdered_inside]

you know because I'm a lesbian, you'd expect me to take offense to being called fag or homo or shit like that. But I don't. Because I'm so used to it and it's who I am so I might as well accept it.

But just a few minutes ago I read something I really wish I didn't read. And I'm crying right now.

Wouldn't you hate it if you liked someone and they treat you like some kinda fucking monster? Yea well.. it happens everytime for me. And it doesn't help one single bit that I'm so fucking emotional like this.

Here's a poem I wrote earlier this year. It's about this girl Natalie who I really cared about but of course she didn't share the same feelings back. And oh god it got so much worse then that.

A Bad Example To Kids

So I guess I'm not good enough for you,
for you or the rest of 'the popular group',
but I hope you know you're beautiful,
even though your insides are ugly.
I never wanted you to hate me,
or to scare you away,
but I can't change the way I feel,
so what's the big deal?
Why am I the big freak?
God's the one who made me,
he made me this way,
so I guess he wouldn't want me to change.
So I can suffer,
and he'll laugh from above,
cause of the different way I love.
So I guess I'm not human
because my heart is ruined.
There's nothing right about me
I am completely wrong.
I am a big mistake,
I should take my life away.
Don't try this at home.
I'm a bad example to kids.