In the second to last week of May, I got to pee in 9 different states. California, Nevada, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Minnesota and Wisconsin. This demands explanation, I know. So perhaps you should read the rest of this entry.
Sometime last month, Michael and his dad asked if I wanted to go with them on a road trip to Minnesota so they could pick up some of a dead relative’s things. My initial answer to this invitation was to flatly refuse it. But when they told me that Yellowstone and Mt. Rushmore could conveniently be put on the itinerary, I changed my mind.
Now, I never, ever went on any road trips as a kid. My parents were always just scraping by, so there literally was no vacation budget, ever. The closest thing to vacations I got was staying with my aunt in Bakersfield, which was only a 4-5 hour car trip away. So, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. What I got was a series of severe neck cramps, a sunburn and about 4 hours of sleep per day, but I had a pretty damn good time.
The entire trip up to Yellowstone wasn’t dull at all, due to something very unexpected. That something was a 12 cassette tape behemoth known as Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Now, my past with the Harry Potter books has been sketchy compared to most people; my mom practically forced me to read the first 3 books during one long, dull winter break when I was home from college, and I admit I thoroughly enjoyed them. Not so much the next two, which I read on subsequent visits home. By that time I was getting really sick of the teen drama, simple mean-spiritedness of the antagonists, complex explanations for plot details I didn’t care to know in the first place, etc. But when Michael’s dad popped those tapes in, I started to hang on every word. Hurhurrr.
Yellowstone itself is pretty incredible. Ma Nature really puts ‘em on the glass there. We must have seen over 30 bison just in the first 10 minutes, several of which were within a few feet of the car and passively grazing like nothing was happening. And I think I may have also experienced all four seasons in less than a day. It was sunny and warm when we first got into the park (I wasn’t even wearing a coat,) and by the time we left, we were into the Beartooth mountains, and there were 10 foot high snowdrifts on either side of the road.
Perhaps my favorite thing in the park was the presence of the geysers and hot springs. At one point Michael and I were leaning over the railing that overlooked the park’s largest thermal pool, just enjoying the hot steam that poured from it. The feel of it blowing over us on a chill afternoon breeze was just heavenly. I don’t think I’ve ever been exposed to steam that wasn’t man-made before. Looking into the pool itself was rather heavenly as well, as the minerals in the water make the surrounding basin a brilliant aqua/teal color. Still other pools are stark arctic white, dull brick red or bright Halloween orange. It really is otherworldly to look at them.
We also saw two grizzly bears, which we wouldn’t have seen if not for a kind couple and their telescope. We had stopped by the side of the road to take in a particularly striking vista, and they waved us over to look at two tiny dots on a far hillside, which turned out to be grizzlies upon closer inspection. We also spotted a young black bear poking through some pine trees a bit later. I had been fervently hoping to see some wolves, but bears are a bit more likely, I suppose. Wolves are shy, reclusive creatures, and at this time of year most of them are taking care of young pups.
Oh yes, aside from Yellowstone… Midwestern US culture! People in the Midwest seem to be under the impression that California is full of light in the loafers limp wristed nancy boys, and perhaps it is, but after spending a few days east of the Sierras, I have found a few reasons to challenge them on that impression. One is their coffee, which I probably could have used it in place of Visine and not noticed anything, except maybe that it wouldn’t sting my eyes as badly. Another is their Chinese food, which though fundamentally accurate, was so bland I wondered if it was cooked for someone’s Jewish grandma. I know, I sound inordinately bitter, but perhaps some of my bitterness will seep into Midwestern cuisine and give it a bit more flavor.
When we made a stop in Wyoming, Michael and his dad tried to talk me into finding a piece of Black Hills gold jewelry at a gift shop, insisting they’d buy it for me. I know I’m probably the only woman in the world who would turn down free jewelry, but I just don’t like gold, at all. So I shot that idea down. However, I found myself wondering just what kind of shiny souvenir I did want. Apparently the tacky souvenir god heard me, and blessed me with a fine piece of jewelry at the very next truck stop. Although it requires a bit of setup… Ever seen those
naked lady mudflaps truckers are so fond of? Well, I saw
a male version of the design on a 3$ metal pin behind the counter. And promptly made Michael buy it for me. It will never stop being funny to me. Ever.
The way back was made bearable by Michael’s portable DVD player, and an anime series I’d been meaning to rewatch for quite sometime now. That being Full Metal Alchemist. Freakin’ love it. Its humanity, its emotional depth, its beautifully animated action, its abundance of female characters that don’t make me want to perform hysterectomies with rusty fish hooks… Yes, I was quite happy to watch it again, though I still have the last four volumes to go. It, Trigun and Wolf’s Rain probably round out my top 3.
We stopped by Mount Rushmore too, which is a monument I never really wanted to visit. However I’m quite glad I did. I wasn’t impressed with the mountain itself so much as the inspiring, classy and downright beautiful way it was presented. There’s a parking garages below it, and once you take the elevator up to the main observation area, you’re greeted with a long, austere granite walkway, with the mountain perfectly framed at the end of it. As you walk down this walkway, you enter a small tunnel. On one side of this tunnel is a bronze bust of the original sculptor, and on the other is a plaque listing all of the workers who labored on it. After this, the walkway opens up again, and on either side is a series of pillars, bearing the flags of all of the different states, as well as the dates they joined the union. And after these is a large amphitheater sort of thing that sits at the foot of the mountain itself, with plenty of unobstructed views. And the thing that astonished me most; no advertising. Anywhere. No NascardrinkcokerealityTV fuckery to be seen anywhere. I even had to look around for the gift shop. Made me feel slightly better about being an American to know that we actually can keep some things sacred.
Aside from all of that, I met some of Michael’s extended family, and managed to behave myself for the most part, aside from my visible discomfort around his umpteen tiny little cousins. But they also had a 150lb Newfoundland named Max that I managed to make friends with. Eee, he looked like a miniature bear but he was extremely docile and easily tamed with belly rubs. I absolutely adore big, mellow dogs.
Well, I suppose I could go on, but I think that’s about all I feel like writing at the moment. Hopefully I will have some photos uploaded soon! Michael and I took over 200 of them, after all. Man I love digital cameras. I can take as many pictures of the inside of a duffel bag or the tops of my feet as I want to, and I suffer no guilt about wasted film!