condiment arsenal
(don't lose interest, the backstory should always come first) My grandmother, Aunt Jenny, and I went to see Julie & Julia today; excellent. We loved it. We went to Culvers after to eat, and I was trying to get my mayo out of the little packet. I'd only torn a small hole in it, so I was squeezing extra hard (I decided it would be too much of a hassle to tear a larger hole, so I just SQUEEZED), and then suddenly, mayo rockets out of the packet into the air. I see it shoot out of the corner of my eye and look on the floor, where a bunch of it landed. Jenny said, "Did it hit anyone?" and I said, "I don't think so," but then she saw that some had got on a lady in a nice-ish outfit.
My brain shut down, and I was completely useless. All I could do was grab a bunch of napkins and hand them to her. I was informed by my aunt that there was some on the seat behind her and went back, wiping that seat, apologizing like crazy. It was so mortifying. And when I finally got back to my seat, I felt this terrible pit in my stomach like something was still wrong, like maybe I hadn't apologized enough. It wasn't until we were back in the car and my grandmother mentioned it that I realized she hadn't accepted my apology. Actually, she hadn't said anything. At the time I thought, This is America; she could press charges!
I hope she doesn't have to get that outfit drycleaned... that would totally suck. I'm sorry, lady in pink!