REPOSTING: Cocoa puffs [2/2]
Title: Cocoa puffs [2/2]
Author: mumuja
Pairing: OnKey, small implied 2Min
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Sometimes, the canvas of your life can get tainted with oily memories. It's just a matter of time when the mess is tenderly brushed away by a lovely eraser called love.
Disclaimer: Only own plot.
Warning: it may come off as a little bit angsty at first... but I SWEAR IT'S FLUFF <.<.
A/N: *sighs* i love this song soo LGHFLA much!!! i think it fitts the fighting scene and the scene after that nicely : )
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I had a purpose and one purpose only. To pretend everything was fine while laughing, even though inside I was dying.
“I’ve been so worried about you it’s not even funny!” I smiled softly, taking my coat off as I slid into the café booth I knew too well. He was still the same, all delicate and fragile as his worried brown orbs studied me carefully. I accepted the warm cup of coffee handed by a couple of milky white hands, and as I took a sip of that delicious hot beverage, I tried to seem normal enough. I tried to look like a normal person, not someone that got his heart broken just a week ago.
“I’m sorry Key, I think I caught a cold or something.” My words didn’t bring comfort to the twenty two year old sitting in front, but I think my fake smile had some effect in him, so after a few minutes of awkward staring a soft sigh escaped his pink pouty lips.
“Try giving me some heads up next time you’re gonna go missing for a week… I was afraid.. you were gone.” I stared intently at his face, watching in amusement as genuine concern settled in his delicate features. His concern touched my heart deeply, pushing the tired organ to beat once again for its owner, but I let the euphoria slip away, knowing it was real concern showed for a missing friend.
“I’m sorry I scared you then… but I’m here now right? And I’m really sorry for being so rude last week… to you and Chansung.” I didn’t think I was gonna be strong enough to let that name slid from my lips, but I was glad that I still managed to surprise myself now and then. Finally his lovely lips displayed that sweet smile I painfully loved, and I rejoiced a little in the idea that at least THAT smile was mine; mine to look at right now, and mine to enjoy. He playfully slapped my hand resting against the table, making me chuckle lightly at his childish outburst.
“Yes you are! And don’t worry though; I understand that you were sick and not feeling well. Anyways!! I’ve been waiting for you actually, cause I need to ask you something.”
“Sure, ask away.”
“What would be a good way to confess to someone?” I cursed softly, hissing as the remains of the coffee spilled themselves in my lap. Key quickly stood up, grabbing a handful of napkins as he hastily ran to my side. I shook my head, grabbing his hurried hands that were inches away from my lap.
“Don’t worry, it’s just a stain.” He stared at me for a little while before nodding slowly, handing me the needed napkins as he seated himself in the booth once again. I quietly wiped the coffee mess, happy that the stain wasn’t as bad as it look. It was luck that the dark substance was already cold when it cascaded to my pants.
“Umm.. so like I was saying… what do you think would be a good way to confess?” I dropped the soiled napkins in the table, knowing that I couldn’t avoid the question any longer. His eager eyes awaited my answer, and running my fingers through my chocolate colored hair, I pondered for a while.
“Well… I think a poem is nice… romantic enough.” The corner of his lips tugged upwards, and as he placed his chin between his hands, I couldn’t help but blush at my stupid self.
“Tell me, is that the way YOU would want someone to confess to you?” I sighed, nodding softly, and I was about to say something else when the same bouncy waitress I met the first time I came here was made her way towards us.
“Mr. Kim there seems to be a problem with the express coffee beans you ordered? The delivery man said he mixed our shipping order with another coffee shop and he needs you to go to his office to make the shipping arrangements once again.” I smiled softly at the way Key’s eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. Even when he looked all peeved he still managed to look as lovely as ever. I will truly remember that.
“Okay… I’ll be back shortly Jinki!! Don’t you dare leave! Cause I have uhh something to give you.” I nodded, watching him as he hurriedly made his way towards the entrances, throwing me that same gorgeous smile before disappearing into the rain. Once it was safe enough, I pulled my sketching book out my bag, opening it as quietly as possible. The picture that greeted my eyes had me smiling almost immediately.
“Beautiful…”
Even if it was just a black and white sketch of Key smiling, it felt almost real. The week I had gone missing, I’ve been drawing Key out of my heart. I was almost done, and the reason why I came back is to look at my muse one more time, just to catch those small details; like the way his eyelashes would brush softly against his cheekbones when he laughed, or how his lower lip curve itself in a natural pout.
I swiped the sketch pencil over the used canvas, trying hard to convey every feeling inside me in that portray. With every flick of my wrist, and every drag of my fingers, Key’s picture seemed to come to live. His coal eyes sparkled almost magically, and every lock drawn with precise care, felt almost real to touch.
“It’s done.” After almost 4 hours, I could sigh in relief, eyeing the work of art with satisfying eyes. A distant memory made its way into my mind, churning my insides with what seemed to be sadness and happiness.
“J-jinki…is this.. for me?” I placed the drawing I had committed myself into for the past two weeks into the trembling hands, smiling lightly at the astonished expression in the junior’s face. Key’s laughing face was delicately drawn in that white canvas, fluttering the rough surface to life. It had been my first time drawing a person, only drawing landscapes and sunsets, and I couldn’t help but feel proud of my lame attempt. I wanted Key to be my first human portray, and by the way his eyes were sparkling with unshed tears, I knew he was touched.
“It’s not as great as I wanted it to be… and you know how my drawings sometimes suck… but I wanted to draw you… at least once and-”
“I love it.” My eyes traveled upwards, staring in awe at the way Key’s face seemed to glow around the snow covered setting, and as the sun was slowly setting behind him, I think I fell in love a little more.
Sunlight painted a lovely halo all around him, making the small tears rolling from his cheeks sparkle magically. My breath caught itself in my throat, afraid that my breathing will brush the beautiful picture away. I could feel my heart growing; making enough space for my love for Key to slide in… and that love was as big and vast as the universe itself… the universe and beyond.
“I’m gonna frame this and put it in my room.” He eagerly prompted, cleaning his tears with the back of his gloved hands. I nodded, and I knew that if I didn’t hug him right now I was gonna regret it for the rest of my life.
“J-jinki?” I kept quiet, just concentrating in pulling the small body against me, embracing him tightly for the last time. Time stopped then, just for us, and the last rays of sun bathed us in warmness. I could feel his heartbeat; erratically at first but soothing shortly after. He felt so fragile in my arms, and the desire to stay and take care of him burnt deep inside me.
“I want you to remember me as the first person that drew you… and every time you feel sad, just look at that picture, and remember that you look the loveliest when you smile…” He pulled away, confusion clear in his face as I softly wiped the remaining tears away.
“So smile Key… every day for the rest of your life.” I pulled away, my own eyes slowly brimming with tears. I held them back though, not wanting to upset the junior any further.
“This.. feels like a goodbye…” I tilted my head to the side, smiling at his pouty lips. I pushed the little braid from his winter beanie to the side, making him grunt cutely while adjusting the orange hat once again.
“Do you want it to be a goodbye?” Surprise fell on his face almost instantly, and soon he was shaking his head furiously, hugging his portray tightly against his chest. I was already missing him.
“Then it’s not silly.” He pouted some more before squeaking at the sight of the big clock on top of the schools entrance. It was six o’ clock, and school had ended hours. I stared at the now nervous boy as he slung his backpack over his shoulder.
“Mom is gonna kill me!! I gotta go!! Thank you again Jinki!!” I nodded, waving as the younger one walked down the big flight of stairs in a hurry. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, and turning once more towards me, he smiled that melting smile that made me fall in love with him our first day of school.
“I’ll see you tomorrow Jinki!”
“I’ll see you some day Key…” Such silent whisper was never delivered to the boy running down the desolated streets, loosing itself in the chilly wind.
I left the next day, at 6 am to be exact. I knew I must have broken his heart when he heard about me leaving permanently, but I think in the end it was the safest choice not to tell him. I didn’t believe in goodbyes back then, and I still don’t believe in goodbyes. Call me heartless… maybe I was heartless… but I never meant to hurt him, and even though we hadn’t talked about my sudden departure from 6 years ago, I knew he still held some kind of resentment towards me.
“Mr. Lee? Would you like to drink something while you wait for Mr. Kim to come back?” I shook my head softly while smiling at the bubbly teenager eagerly waiting to take my order.
“No Mimi, thank you. I’m going now, but please give this to Key okay?” The young girl bobbed her head up and down while I placed the wrapped canvas in her hands. I put my coat on, wrapping the thick knitted scarf around my neck as small frosty flakes started falling from the grayish sky.
I patted the soft blond haired girl with affection, and as her huge blue eyes stared at me with curiosity, I just walked away, not uttering a simple goodbye. I didn’t like the sense of loneliness that creeps over you when you bid farewell to someone you had learnt to care about.
“Maybe I’ll see you again…” The ringing from the doorbell muted my whispers, and taking a good last glance at the cozy place I’ve learnt to love, I walked away, restraining myself from looking back.
“I’m doing this for you… for us… smile Key… always.”
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Two months can sometimes feel like a life time.
“I know Jjong… I told myself I wasn’t gonna come back… but I left some stuff in my old apartment, and I kinda need them.” The beeping sound of the automatic doors signaling the arrival had me jumping up my sit at once, grabbing my small luggage in the way.
Making my way out of the parked train, and breathing that characteristic air brought bitter sweet memories from not so long ago. Two months pass by so quickly, that once you realize how much time has slipped from your fingers, you can’t help but want to hold on to something, afraid time will suck you in.
“I’ll call you later okay? I leave tomorrow anyways.” I turned the phone off, placing it in my back pocket as I walked slowly out of the crowded train station.
Would he be mad at me? Probably… I walked away from him the same way I did six years. I wouldn’t blame him if he hated me. I shivered, tightening the straps of my coat all the way. Winter was at its peak, highly contrasting the warm weather from the city.
I decided to walk instead of riding a cab, even if the weather was chilly enough to leave snow bites. It was night already, every light from the street turning the hometown into a magical place. Snowflakes started falling suddenly, making my glasses all foggy and sticky. People were rushing down the streets as always, minding their own business, and I once again avoided colliding into the passing mass. I spotted a blonde head I knew too well, and I thought about it twice before calling out for the energized girl.
“Mimi!!” The bubbly girl turned around, searching frenetically for the source of the call when her big blue eyes landed on me.
“Mr. Lee??” I made way towards her despite the glares I got from blocking the way. We were standing in the middle of the snow covered sidewalk, and just like the last time, I patted her curled head with my gloved hand. She smiled softly, bowing in respect. A sudden feeling washed over me, and it was like I never left in the first place.
“How are you Mimi? Still working hard?” She grinned happily, fisting her little hands in the air as I laughed heartedly at the cute manner.
“Of course!! Making people happy is always my first priority.” I chuckled softly, enjoying the high spirits emanating from the young teen. Sadness fell on her face suddenly, halting my chuckles at once. I knew what she was gonna ask, and I couldn’t deny that deep down I didn’t want to answer… I wasn’t prepared to talk about it yet. Forgetting Key was just as hard as holding your breath for 10 minutes… impossible actually.
“Mr. Lee…why…why did you leave?” I sighed, turning my head backwards as I eyed the sparkling sky. Snowflakes danced beautifully while falling down, and smiling sadly into the view, I turned my attention back to the curious girl in front of me.
“Sometimes… we have to do things we don’t want to…out of love.” She tilted her head to the side, not understanding my words, and of course it must have been a bundle of incomprehensive words for her, but once she gets old enough to endure a heartache, she was gonna remember me.
“I don’t understand… I think the picture you drew of Mr. Kim was lovely by the way!! Too bad he tore it..” Something crumbled inside after that confession slipped ever so innocently from her lips. I tried to cover my pain, and swallowing slowly, I pulled enough courage to ask.
“H-he tore the drawing Mimi?” She nodded, pouting as she played with her long curly ponytales.
“Yeah… after I gave him your package he opened it, and I thought he was gonna be happy about the drawing! But… he started crying, and then he left. A few minutes later he came back, still crying but with this angry look on his face, and grabbing a pair of scissors from the counter… he cut it all.”
I should have expected that much. It was obvious… obvious as the truth of leaves being green and the sky being blue…obvious by the way I left him without a word, for the second time in our lives. But, even though it was obvious, it still hurt. The idea of Key actually hating me hurt more than him forgetting me. I didn’t expect him to understand my motives, but… to hate me…
“Oh God!! I have to go Mr. Lee! I hope I can see you again!! I miss seeing you in the coffee shop.. and I know Mr. Kim misses you too… take care Mr. Lee.” I waved absentmindedly at the cute girl bouncing her way through the pavement; her pink pug boots leaving marked footsteps on the way. I think I finally found a way to let you leave Key… hating me. Maybe now that I knew you hated me, I can finally let you go.
I slowly started my walk once again, but I wasn’t in any rush to arrive to my apartment. An empty feeling settled itself in my heart, freezing my insides slowly but painfully. He was gonna be happy with Chansung now, without me spoiling the happy picture. I wonder if I’m ever gonna find my happy ending… or maybe, I was born to lack a happy ending.
“That would explain lots of things…” My sluggish steps dragged snow on the way, and while I carried my suitcase loosely over my shoulder, I could feel my eyes losing their color.
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“Hey… yeah I’m in my apartment right now.” I quickly placed my small suitcase against the bathroom’s door, taking the pair of sweatpants out of it while making my way to the desolated bedroom. The sight of a sleeping bag greeted me in the darkened room, and I felt lonely all of a sudden.
I was leaving tomorrow, to never come back, so the idea of enduring one lonely night in the desolated apartment seemed durable enough. After an hour or so of talking over the phone with my best friend, I decided it was time for bed. Even though the heater was working just find, I still found myself shivering under the thick bed sheets. I understood minutes later that the coldness was not coming from the outside, but from deep within me.
Without realizing, tears were softly cascading down my face, and understanding perfectly well those were tears of regret, I let them fall. I regretted meeting him…regretted loving him. I regretted the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about him… and most of all… I regretted the way my heart still swelled up with undying love towards him.
Hard knocks woke me up from my groggy stupor a few hours later, and taking my phone out from under the pillow, I stared at the digital clock signaling it was past midnight. Who in their right mind could be knocking at these hours? I thought that if I ignored the knocks, the person would finally desist and go away, but to my surprise, the knocks became stronger and more demanding.
“Coming.” My voice was hoarse with restless sleep, and crawling out of the warm sleeping bag, I numbly made way to the deserted living room, turning the lights on as I walked to the door being knocked persistently. I didn’t even care I was just wearing a pair of sweatpants, and as I rubbed my sleep filled eyes, I opened the door, feeling how my breath got caught up in my throat almost instantly.
“K-Key?” The harsh hand that landed on my cheek had me stumbling backwards in seconds. The slap had been hard, almost brutal, and I could feel my cheek already swelling. I quickly composed my lenses, not being able to take my eyes of the crying mess in front of me.
He was even more beautiful, if it was possible, with those rosy cheeks stained with tears, and his pretty lips quivering now and then. He was holding a couple of cramped papers in his hands, and as he quickly made his way inside, shutting the door loudly behind him, I couldn’t help but gulp nervously.
“Are you enjoying your short stay Jinki? I bet you are!! Because you looove staying in and leaving without notice.” I could see his body convulsing as anger rolled from his body like waves. I already knew he was mad at me, but it was until now that I fully comprehended just how mad he truly was. To think that my departure had hurt him so much…
“Key, let me explain… I-”
“Oh! So you’re gonna explain now why you fucking love leaving me!? I mean, I forgave you the first time, thinking blindly that you must’ve regretted it… but now I comprehend just how STUPID I really am for believing in you!!”
I cringed, my hand extended to calm the screaming twenty two year old. Each word stung like hell, making my heart beat painfully against my chest. The last thing I wanted had happened… and now that I knew how much I had truly hurt him, I couldn’t help but want to apologize over and over again for the rest of my life… but I knew the last thing he wanted was my apologies.
“I’m giving you back everything.” His long strides took me by surprise, and soon he was shoving the papers he was holding in his hands roughly to my chest. I took the crumpled sheets in my hands, and realization hit me as my eyes landed on the tattered memories.
The sight of Key smiling and Key laughing greeted my eyes, and I could feel tears stinging softly as I noticed the way those drawings had been so angrily torn apart, but at the same time so tenderly glued back together. Small pieces of tape were all over the tattered canvas, and I could see stains in the pictures. I realized those stains were formed on those endless night Key must have cried himself to sleep, holding his picture against his chest.
“Key I-”
If I forget to tell you just how much you mean to me,
I hope that you will remember while you’re not here with me.
If I forget to tell you that you are my world and more,
I hope that you will remember what I am waiting for.
If I forget to tell you I want you in my life,
I hope that you will remember that I am always by your side.
If I forget to tell you I love you more than words,
I hope that you will remember regardless of the hurt.
If I forget to tell you I am sorry for my mistakes,
I hope that you will remember with everyone I make.
His voice was starting to quiver with emotion, but his resolve was set; his eyes blazing in the cold lifeless room.
If I forget to tell you no other can compare,
I hope that you will remember the love that we both share.
If I forget to tell you I miss you everyday,
I hope that you will remember your absence causes pain.
If I forget to tell you that forever is what I want,
I hope you will remember that forever is what we have got.
Whether I say these words to you, or wait until you are here with me,
I will show you this forever, and these words will have no need.
“…you thought I would forget you wanted to be confessed at with a poem?… there you go.. your poem.” My mind was still swimming in the recited poem, not believing he actually… confessed.
I was speechless, the only sound in the room being my noisy tears and Key’s heavy breathing. I tried to reach up to him, but he slapped my hands away. I wanted to make it all better, I wanted to explain myself, but the opportunity was slowly slipping away as he turned around, making his way towards the door and out of my life.
Just like an instinct latent within me, I lounged forward, grabbing his hand to stop him from making a mistake. My desperate eyes landed on those lovely chocolate eyes full of hate and hurt. I wanted to make him forget… to make him understand that me leaving his life was the best thing he could ask for. He started wiggling himself out of my grasp, so I curled my fingers around his, trying to gain his attention for just one minute.
“Key! Just listen to me!”
“Let me go Jinki… I only came here to give you all your stuff back… cause I don’t want to have anything from you anymore.” I ignored way those words pierced precisely into my heart, biting my lip while debating if I should just tell him the truth. I decided the truth was the best.
“That day… at the coffee shop on Children’s Day, I saw you so happy and excited about seeing your friend Chansung, and as he twirled you around in the air, I realized that was how your life was supposed to be. I didn’t belong in that picture! And I realized too that even though I fell in love with you for the second time in my life, and even though I strongly believe that I could fall in love with you as many times as heavenly possible, you’re not meant for me to love… you’re just not mine to love…”
He stopped struggling, just letting his tears fall as I took a few steps back. I turned my back at him, not wanting to see his face of repulsion and rejection.
“So yeah, hate me all you want… but the best thing I can do is to leave. Let things be like they’re supposed to be. I don’t fit in the story of your life, so just forget you ever knew me… I’ll burn those pictures of you, to make it easier for you…”
“I love you Key… but please don’t love me back. Love the one you’re supposed to love.”
I walked inside my bedroom, not caring to wait for an answer as I locked myself in the bathroom. Time passed by, and even though I didn’t hear the door opening or closing, I knew he was gone. I swallowed my tears back, trying to make the process of forgetting fast enough. I could be happy at last, not now of course, but in a few years. I was able to tell him my reasons to leave, amending my wrongs with the truth. I think an hour passed, and once my tears had finally dried out, I unlocked the door, and walked inside my room once again.
My eyes landed on the angel standing by the window; his pale skin beautifully bathed by the soft glint of the moonlight. His clothe was long gone, his body only covered by a large sized t-shirt just pass his thighs; recognizing my piece of clothing right away. His earthy orbs were staring intently at the way the perfectly shaped snowflakes fell endlessly into the night.
“Key, what are you doing…”
Finally he turned around, making me gulp as small tears descended slowly down his cheeks. My staring was weakening his resolve, but taking a deep breath he stepped forward, and each step that softly echoed through that cold wooden floor made my heart jump in anticipation. He finally stood before me, just within reach, and I felt like god was miserably mocking me with what I couldn’t have… what didn’t belong to me.
“Jinki… let me…” His porcelain hands traveled softly over my bare chest, making me shudder as they lingered on my collarbone for a while, before slowly tangling themselves behind my neck. I tried to fight with myself; with what I was supposed to do and what I wanted to do. I wanted to hug him, sliding my arms around that slender waist while placing kissed over his rosebud lips.
He is not yours I bit my lower lip roughly, sensing my hands were already trembling with the over boarding desire to envelope him in my arms.
“Let me show you… just how perfect you are for me…how perfect we are for each other.” I couldn’t hold my love any longer, even though I had tried to resist. His lips breathed hotly against mine, and finally I wrapped my arms around his awaiting body.
It felt right, perfectly right, the way my hands roamed his covered body with tenderness. I felt touched; touched by the idea of this perfect angel I had hurt so much giving himself to me, just to prove his point of view about perfection. I could care less about the world at that moment, drinking the smell of chocolate and cherries with empty lungs, tasting the sweetness of heaven with my tongue as my lips brushed ever so slightly over parted ones. In that moment I hitched his legs over my hips, walking us awkwardly towards the sleeping bag, I wanted to believe like a kid once again.
I wanted to believe that rain was the sadness of the sky manifesting itself as I placed myself between those delicate legs. I wanted to believe that if you prayed every night god would listen to your pleas as my hands slid slowly over the milky white thighs, Key’s breath hitching every time my hands revealed more and more of that virginal skin. I wanted to believe that dreams did come true as I finally pulled the hem of that shirt up, exposing his tight boxers only meant for my eyes to see.
And I believed.
“J-jinki… please… make me yours.” His eyes sparkled with some hidden secret, like he had been waiting for my hands, like he had waited an eternity to be underneath me, and as my fingers curled around that elastic waistband, making the angel underneath me whimper, I realized he had been waiting for it. I softly placed my lips on top of his swollen ones, and as shaky hands slid down those black shorts off those toned limbs, his soft whimpers were drowned by my tongue coaxing his panting mouth to open.
Maybe this was how things were supposed to turn out, and I couldn’t help but smile as I placed my growing length against his open legs, making him moan in need as my clothed member brushed against his tenderness. He was beautiful; black silky hair spilled all over the pillow like a halo, and his soft nails clawed my buttocks, I couldn’t help but contemplate a little over how faith didn’t seem so bad after all.
Breaths were coming out quick and shortened; my mouth ravaging the swollen lips I had the pleasure to redden. I grounded my hips forward, earning some kind of guttural groan from the twenty two year old in my arms. I could see sparkles beneath my closed eyelids, and as I kept grounding my hips deeper while meeting Key’s upward grinds, pre cum started soaking the front of my sweatpants.
With every thrust, Key seemed to moan more wantonly…and small tears of need started pricking in the corner of his eyes. As I slid myself out of my soaked sweatpants, I took a moment to marble over the perfection in front of me. Key was wide open before me, exposing every inch of his perfect anatomy only for me. Did I felt touched? Very, and as I took my hovering position once again, I somehow felt deep inside that this was right. It felt right when my angry red flesh brushed right above the puckered entrance, and it felt so damn perfect as those long luscious legs wrapped themselves around my torso.
“J-jinki… can you see…just how perfect we are…together…”
I sucked his panting mouth, and thrusting the body fluids were the only lubricant I needed, I pushed forward, snapping my hips right up and into that gorgeous tightness. He was right, we were perfect. His tear filled eyes searched mine desperately, and as I waited for him to adjust to my fat length, I distracted myself with the blur of emotions that poured from those big doo like eyes.
Maybe he was meant for me, with the way he softly whispered over my ear to move. I was hopelessly wrapped around his finger… I always had been, but I didn’t mind too much because he deserved to be taken care of. Each thrust had the younger one crying with pleasure, and the shirt covering his torso was slowing soaking itself with every slick press of our skin. I wanted to prolong this moment, I wanted to put that characteristic smell of him so beautifully mixed with the heavy smell of sweat and love inside a bottle. To perfume it all over me and let it drown me.
I could feel myself nearing the end, and by the way his awakened muscles sucked me and spewed me out, I knew he was close too. I kissed him then, feeling him arch so wonderfully as I sucked his silent scream. Spurs of white blinded my eyes, and soon after I was spilling all over Key, groaning softly at the way his muscles clamped all around me.
Rolling around, I found myself panting heavily, closing my eyes as the after effects still shocked my body with electric impulses. The twenty two year old found its way into my arms; wrapping himself around me while tracing soft patterns over my glistening chest.
“I’m sorry…” I furrowed my eyebrows, looking down to the blushing boy resting against me. Finally his eyes looked up, and I saw genuine regret in his chocolate orbs.
“I’m sorry for slapping you.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, placing a wet kiss against his sweaty forehead while pushing his soaked bangs away.
“No… I should be the one apologizing.. I left without a simple goodbye… hurting your heart on the way. But I wanted you to live the life you were supposed to live before knowing me! And even though that life should be with Chansung I don’t-” A slow tender kiss stopped my speech, making me sigh resignedly.
“Why can’t you see things as clear as me? YOU are the life I’m supposed to live!! And if you walk out of my life once again, you are pretty much leaving me to die… Faith brought us back together… we were meant to meet again… so please…” His desperate eyes triggered something inside me, making me hug the trembling body closer to my flush.
“Please… stay…stay and believe”
I stayed that night, surrounding the sleeping boy in my arms as my eyes brimmed with unshed tears. I stayed, listening to that soft heart beat steadily against mine. I realized somewhere between my tears that I truly wanted to stay, I wanted to believe in destiny all over again.
Maybe… just maybe, this angel in my arms was what I’ve been looking for. Maybe he was the reason I stepped into this town two months ago, and as I watched his moon bathed face in a peaceful manner, I knew I couldn’t bring myself to leave. Not now, when I was swelling with love despite my effortless tries to rip Key out of my life.
“I’ll stay…tonight and forever.”
And as softly as possible, I untangled the limp arms from my naked torso, walking slowly towards my suitcase, trying to be as quiet as possible as I took my almost forgotten sketch book.
I drew him then, with the sun slowly rising over the horizon and his naked body covered by my tattered shirt; legs tangled messily around the bed covers. It was beautiful, and it was true; true as the chalk in my fingers. Was I happy? Absolutely; were we meant for each other? Maybe, but the way his lips tugged upwards in his peaceful slumber, dreaming of endless stories, made me acknowledge that if we weren’t meant for each other in this life, I was gonna pray every night for our next life.
Incarnation was something beautiful, and I would die and live again just to fall in love all over again, cause Key was worth it.
So much worth it.
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->Originally posted ignyte_passion !!
->Original entry here
Author: mumuja
Pairing: OnKey, small implied 2Min
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Sometimes, the canvas of your life can get tainted with oily memories. It's just a matter of time when the mess is tenderly brushed away by a lovely eraser called love.
Disclaimer: Only own plot.
Warning: it may come off as a little bit angsty at first... but I SWEAR IT'S FLUFF <.<.
A/N: *sighs* i love this song soo LGHFLA much!!! i think it fitts the fighting scene and the scene after that nicely : )
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I had a purpose and one purpose only. To pretend everything was fine while laughing, even though inside I was dying.
“I’ve been so worried about you it’s not even funny!” I smiled softly, taking my coat off as I slid into the café booth I knew too well. He was still the same, all delicate and fragile as his worried brown orbs studied me carefully. I accepted the warm cup of coffee handed by a couple of milky white hands, and as I took a sip of that delicious hot beverage, I tried to seem normal enough. I tried to look like a normal person, not someone that got his heart broken just a week ago.
“I’m sorry Key, I think I caught a cold or something.” My words didn’t bring comfort to the twenty two year old sitting in front, but I think my fake smile had some effect in him, so after a few minutes of awkward staring a soft sigh escaped his pink pouty lips.
“Try giving me some heads up next time you’re gonna go missing for a week… I was afraid.. you were gone.” I stared intently at his face, watching in amusement as genuine concern settled in his delicate features. His concern touched my heart deeply, pushing the tired organ to beat once again for its owner, but I let the euphoria slip away, knowing it was real concern showed for a missing friend.
“I’m sorry I scared you then… but I’m here now right? And I’m really sorry for being so rude last week… to you and Chansung.” I didn’t think I was gonna be strong enough to let that name slid from my lips, but I was glad that I still managed to surprise myself now and then. Finally his lovely lips displayed that sweet smile I painfully loved, and I rejoiced a little in the idea that at least THAT smile was mine; mine to look at right now, and mine to enjoy. He playfully slapped my hand resting against the table, making me chuckle lightly at his childish outburst.
“Yes you are! And don’t worry though; I understand that you were sick and not feeling well. Anyways!! I’ve been waiting for you actually, cause I need to ask you something.”
“Sure, ask away.”
“What would be a good way to confess to someone?” I cursed softly, hissing as the remains of the coffee spilled themselves in my lap. Key quickly stood up, grabbing a handful of napkins as he hastily ran to my side. I shook my head, grabbing his hurried hands that were inches away from my lap.
“Don’t worry, it’s just a stain.” He stared at me for a little while before nodding slowly, handing me the needed napkins as he seated himself in the booth once again. I quietly wiped the coffee mess, happy that the stain wasn’t as bad as it look. It was luck that the dark substance was already cold when it cascaded to my pants.
“Umm.. so like I was saying… what do you think would be a good way to confess?” I dropped the soiled napkins in the table, knowing that I couldn’t avoid the question any longer. His eager eyes awaited my answer, and running my fingers through my chocolate colored hair, I pondered for a while.
“Well… I think a poem is nice… romantic enough.” The corner of his lips tugged upwards, and as he placed his chin between his hands, I couldn’t help but blush at my stupid self.
“Tell me, is that the way YOU would want someone to confess to you?” I sighed, nodding softly, and I was about to say something else when the same bouncy waitress I met the first time I came here was made her way towards us.
“Mr. Kim there seems to be a problem with the express coffee beans you ordered? The delivery man said he mixed our shipping order with another coffee shop and he needs you to go to his office to make the shipping arrangements once again.” I smiled softly at the way Key’s eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. Even when he looked all peeved he still managed to look as lovely as ever. I will truly remember that.
“Okay… I’ll be back shortly Jinki!! Don’t you dare leave! Cause I have uhh something to give you.” I nodded, watching him as he hurriedly made his way towards the entrances, throwing me that same gorgeous smile before disappearing into the rain. Once it was safe enough, I pulled my sketching book out my bag, opening it as quietly as possible. The picture that greeted my eyes had me smiling almost immediately.
“Beautiful…”
Even if it was just a black and white sketch of Key smiling, it felt almost real. The week I had gone missing, I’ve been drawing Key out of my heart. I was almost done, and the reason why I came back is to look at my muse one more time, just to catch those small details; like the way his eyelashes would brush softly against his cheekbones when he laughed, or how his lower lip curve itself in a natural pout.
I swiped the sketch pencil over the used canvas, trying hard to convey every feeling inside me in that portray. With every flick of my wrist, and every drag of my fingers, Key’s picture seemed to come to live. His coal eyes sparkled almost magically, and every lock drawn with precise care, felt almost real to touch.
“It’s done.” After almost 4 hours, I could sigh in relief, eyeing the work of art with satisfying eyes. A distant memory made its way into my mind, churning my insides with what seemed to be sadness and happiness.
“J-jinki…is this.. for me?” I placed the drawing I had committed myself into for the past two weeks into the trembling hands, smiling lightly at the astonished expression in the junior’s face. Key’s laughing face was delicately drawn in that white canvas, fluttering the rough surface to life. It had been my first time drawing a person, only drawing landscapes and sunsets, and I couldn’t help but feel proud of my lame attempt. I wanted Key to be my first human portray, and by the way his eyes were sparkling with unshed tears, I knew he was touched.
“It’s not as great as I wanted it to be… and you know how my drawings sometimes suck… but I wanted to draw you… at least once and-”
“I love it.” My eyes traveled upwards, staring in awe at the way Key’s face seemed to glow around the snow covered setting, and as the sun was slowly setting behind him, I think I fell in love a little more.
Sunlight painted a lovely halo all around him, making the small tears rolling from his cheeks sparkle magically. My breath caught itself in my throat, afraid that my breathing will brush the beautiful picture away. I could feel my heart growing; making enough space for my love for Key to slide in… and that love was as big and vast as the universe itself… the universe and beyond.
“I’m gonna frame this and put it in my room.” He eagerly prompted, cleaning his tears with the back of his gloved hands. I nodded, and I knew that if I didn’t hug him right now I was gonna regret it for the rest of my life.
“J-jinki?” I kept quiet, just concentrating in pulling the small body against me, embracing him tightly for the last time. Time stopped then, just for us, and the last rays of sun bathed us in warmness. I could feel his heartbeat; erratically at first but soothing shortly after. He felt so fragile in my arms, and the desire to stay and take care of him burnt deep inside me.
“I want you to remember me as the first person that drew you… and every time you feel sad, just look at that picture, and remember that you look the loveliest when you smile…” He pulled away, confusion clear in his face as I softly wiped the remaining tears away.
“So smile Key… every day for the rest of your life.” I pulled away, my own eyes slowly brimming with tears. I held them back though, not wanting to upset the junior any further.
“This.. feels like a goodbye…” I tilted my head to the side, smiling at his pouty lips. I pushed the little braid from his winter beanie to the side, making him grunt cutely while adjusting the orange hat once again.
“Do you want it to be a goodbye?” Surprise fell on his face almost instantly, and soon he was shaking his head furiously, hugging his portray tightly against his chest. I was already missing him.
“Then it’s not silly.” He pouted some more before squeaking at the sight of the big clock on top of the schools entrance. It was six o’ clock, and school had ended hours. I stared at the now nervous boy as he slung his backpack over his shoulder.
“Mom is gonna kill me!! I gotta go!! Thank you again Jinki!!” I nodded, waving as the younger one walked down the big flight of stairs in a hurry. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, and turning once more towards me, he smiled that melting smile that made me fall in love with him our first day of school.
“I’ll see you tomorrow Jinki!”
“I’ll see you some day Key…” Such silent whisper was never delivered to the boy running down the desolated streets, loosing itself in the chilly wind.
I left the next day, at 6 am to be exact. I knew I must have broken his heart when he heard about me leaving permanently, but I think in the end it was the safest choice not to tell him. I didn’t believe in goodbyes back then, and I still don’t believe in goodbyes. Call me heartless… maybe I was heartless… but I never meant to hurt him, and even though we hadn’t talked about my sudden departure from 6 years ago, I knew he still held some kind of resentment towards me.
“Mr. Lee? Would you like to drink something while you wait for Mr. Kim to come back?” I shook my head softly while smiling at the bubbly teenager eagerly waiting to take my order.
“No Mimi, thank you. I’m going now, but please give this to Key okay?” The young girl bobbed her head up and down while I placed the wrapped canvas in her hands. I put my coat on, wrapping the thick knitted scarf around my neck as small frosty flakes started falling from the grayish sky.
I patted the soft blond haired girl with affection, and as her huge blue eyes stared at me with curiosity, I just walked away, not uttering a simple goodbye. I didn’t like the sense of loneliness that creeps over you when you bid farewell to someone you had learnt to care about.
“Maybe I’ll see you again…” The ringing from the doorbell muted my whispers, and taking a good last glance at the cozy place I’ve learnt to love, I walked away, restraining myself from looking back.
“I’m doing this for you… for us… smile Key… always.”
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Two months can sometimes feel like a life time.
“I know Jjong… I told myself I wasn’t gonna come back… but I left some stuff in my old apartment, and I kinda need them.” The beeping sound of the automatic doors signaling the arrival had me jumping up my sit at once, grabbing my small luggage in the way.
Making my way out of the parked train, and breathing that characteristic air brought bitter sweet memories from not so long ago. Two months pass by so quickly, that once you realize how much time has slipped from your fingers, you can’t help but want to hold on to something, afraid time will suck you in.
“I’ll call you later okay? I leave tomorrow anyways.” I turned the phone off, placing it in my back pocket as I walked slowly out of the crowded train station.
Would he be mad at me? Probably… I walked away from him the same way I did six years. I wouldn’t blame him if he hated me. I shivered, tightening the straps of my coat all the way. Winter was at its peak, highly contrasting the warm weather from the city.
I decided to walk instead of riding a cab, even if the weather was chilly enough to leave snow bites. It was night already, every light from the street turning the hometown into a magical place. Snowflakes started falling suddenly, making my glasses all foggy and sticky. People were rushing down the streets as always, minding their own business, and I once again avoided colliding into the passing mass. I spotted a blonde head I knew too well, and I thought about it twice before calling out for the energized girl.
“Mimi!!” The bubbly girl turned around, searching frenetically for the source of the call when her big blue eyes landed on me.
“Mr. Lee??” I made way towards her despite the glares I got from blocking the way. We were standing in the middle of the snow covered sidewalk, and just like the last time, I patted her curled head with my gloved hand. She smiled softly, bowing in respect. A sudden feeling washed over me, and it was like I never left in the first place.
“How are you Mimi? Still working hard?” She grinned happily, fisting her little hands in the air as I laughed heartedly at the cute manner.
“Of course!! Making people happy is always my first priority.” I chuckled softly, enjoying the high spirits emanating from the young teen. Sadness fell on her face suddenly, halting my chuckles at once. I knew what she was gonna ask, and I couldn’t deny that deep down I didn’t want to answer… I wasn’t prepared to talk about it yet. Forgetting Key was just as hard as holding your breath for 10 minutes… impossible actually.
“Mr. Lee…why…why did you leave?” I sighed, turning my head backwards as I eyed the sparkling sky. Snowflakes danced beautifully while falling down, and smiling sadly into the view, I turned my attention back to the curious girl in front of me.
“Sometimes… we have to do things we don’t want to…out of love.” She tilted her head to the side, not understanding my words, and of course it must have been a bundle of incomprehensive words for her, but once she gets old enough to endure a heartache, she was gonna remember me.
“I don’t understand… I think the picture you drew of Mr. Kim was lovely by the way!! Too bad he tore it..” Something crumbled inside after that confession slipped ever so innocently from her lips. I tried to cover my pain, and swallowing slowly, I pulled enough courage to ask.
“H-he tore the drawing Mimi?” She nodded, pouting as she played with her long curly ponytales.
“Yeah… after I gave him your package he opened it, and I thought he was gonna be happy about the drawing! But… he started crying, and then he left. A few minutes later he came back, still crying but with this angry look on his face, and grabbing a pair of scissors from the counter… he cut it all.”
I should have expected that much. It was obvious… obvious as the truth of leaves being green and the sky being blue…obvious by the way I left him without a word, for the second time in our lives. But, even though it was obvious, it still hurt. The idea of Key actually hating me hurt more than him forgetting me. I didn’t expect him to understand my motives, but… to hate me…
“Oh God!! I have to go Mr. Lee! I hope I can see you again!! I miss seeing you in the coffee shop.. and I know Mr. Kim misses you too… take care Mr. Lee.” I waved absentmindedly at the cute girl bouncing her way through the pavement; her pink pug boots leaving marked footsteps on the way. I think I finally found a way to let you leave Key… hating me. Maybe now that I knew you hated me, I can finally let you go.
I slowly started my walk once again, but I wasn’t in any rush to arrive to my apartment. An empty feeling settled itself in my heart, freezing my insides slowly but painfully. He was gonna be happy with Chansung now, without me spoiling the happy picture. I wonder if I’m ever gonna find my happy ending… or maybe, I was born to lack a happy ending.
“That would explain lots of things…” My sluggish steps dragged snow on the way, and while I carried my suitcase loosely over my shoulder, I could feel my eyes losing their color.
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“Hey… yeah I’m in my apartment right now.” I quickly placed my small suitcase against the bathroom’s door, taking the pair of sweatpants out of it while making my way to the desolated bedroom. The sight of a sleeping bag greeted me in the darkened room, and I felt lonely all of a sudden.
I was leaving tomorrow, to never come back, so the idea of enduring one lonely night in the desolated apartment seemed durable enough. After an hour or so of talking over the phone with my best friend, I decided it was time for bed. Even though the heater was working just find, I still found myself shivering under the thick bed sheets. I understood minutes later that the coldness was not coming from the outside, but from deep within me.
Without realizing, tears were softly cascading down my face, and understanding perfectly well those were tears of regret, I let them fall. I regretted meeting him…regretted loving him. I regretted the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about him… and most of all… I regretted the way my heart still swelled up with undying love towards him.
Hard knocks woke me up from my groggy stupor a few hours later, and taking my phone out from under the pillow, I stared at the digital clock signaling it was past midnight. Who in their right mind could be knocking at these hours? I thought that if I ignored the knocks, the person would finally desist and go away, but to my surprise, the knocks became stronger and more demanding.
“Coming.” My voice was hoarse with restless sleep, and crawling out of the warm sleeping bag, I numbly made way to the deserted living room, turning the lights on as I walked to the door being knocked persistently. I didn’t even care I was just wearing a pair of sweatpants, and as I rubbed my sleep filled eyes, I opened the door, feeling how my breath got caught up in my throat almost instantly.
“K-Key?” The harsh hand that landed on my cheek had me stumbling backwards in seconds. The slap had been hard, almost brutal, and I could feel my cheek already swelling. I quickly composed my lenses, not being able to take my eyes of the crying mess in front of me.
He was even more beautiful, if it was possible, with those rosy cheeks stained with tears, and his pretty lips quivering now and then. He was holding a couple of cramped papers in his hands, and as he quickly made his way inside, shutting the door loudly behind him, I couldn’t help but gulp nervously.
“Are you enjoying your short stay Jinki? I bet you are!! Because you looove staying in and leaving without notice.” I could see his body convulsing as anger rolled from his body like waves. I already knew he was mad at me, but it was until now that I fully comprehended just how mad he truly was. To think that my departure had hurt him so much…
“Key, let me explain… I-”
“Oh! So you’re gonna explain now why you fucking love leaving me!? I mean, I forgave you the first time, thinking blindly that you must’ve regretted it… but now I comprehend just how STUPID I really am for believing in you!!”
I cringed, my hand extended to calm the screaming twenty two year old. Each word stung like hell, making my heart beat painfully against my chest. The last thing I wanted had happened… and now that I knew how much I had truly hurt him, I couldn’t help but want to apologize over and over again for the rest of my life… but I knew the last thing he wanted was my apologies.
“I’m giving you back everything.” His long strides took me by surprise, and soon he was shoving the papers he was holding in his hands roughly to my chest. I took the crumpled sheets in my hands, and realization hit me as my eyes landed on the tattered memories.
The sight of Key smiling and Key laughing greeted my eyes, and I could feel tears stinging softly as I noticed the way those drawings had been so angrily torn apart, but at the same time so tenderly glued back together. Small pieces of tape were all over the tattered canvas, and I could see stains in the pictures. I realized those stains were formed on those endless night Key must have cried himself to sleep, holding his picture against his chest.
“Key I-”
If I forget to tell you just how much you mean to me,
I hope that you will remember while you’re not here with me.
If I forget to tell you that you are my world and more,
I hope that you will remember what I am waiting for.
If I forget to tell you I want you in my life,
I hope that you will remember that I am always by your side.
If I forget to tell you I love you more than words,
I hope that you will remember regardless of the hurt.
If I forget to tell you I am sorry for my mistakes,
I hope that you will remember with everyone I make.
His voice was starting to quiver with emotion, but his resolve was set; his eyes blazing in the cold lifeless room.
If I forget to tell you no other can compare,
I hope that you will remember the love that we both share.
If I forget to tell you I miss you everyday,
I hope that you will remember your absence causes pain.
If I forget to tell you that forever is what I want,
I hope you will remember that forever is what we have got.
Whether I say these words to you, or wait until you are here with me,
I will show you this forever, and these words will have no need.
“…you thought I would forget you wanted to be confessed at with a poem?… there you go.. your poem.” My mind was still swimming in the recited poem, not believing he actually… confessed.
I was speechless, the only sound in the room being my noisy tears and Key’s heavy breathing. I tried to reach up to him, but he slapped my hands away. I wanted to make it all better, I wanted to explain myself, but the opportunity was slowly slipping away as he turned around, making his way towards the door and out of my life.
Just like an instinct latent within me, I lounged forward, grabbing his hand to stop him from making a mistake. My desperate eyes landed on those lovely chocolate eyes full of hate and hurt. I wanted to make him forget… to make him understand that me leaving his life was the best thing he could ask for. He started wiggling himself out of my grasp, so I curled my fingers around his, trying to gain his attention for just one minute.
“Key! Just listen to me!”
“Let me go Jinki… I only came here to give you all your stuff back… cause I don’t want to have anything from you anymore.” I ignored way those words pierced precisely into my heart, biting my lip while debating if I should just tell him the truth. I decided the truth was the best.
“That day… at the coffee shop on Children’s Day, I saw you so happy and excited about seeing your friend Chansung, and as he twirled you around in the air, I realized that was how your life was supposed to be. I didn’t belong in that picture! And I realized too that even though I fell in love with you for the second time in my life, and even though I strongly believe that I could fall in love with you as many times as heavenly possible, you’re not meant for me to love… you’re just not mine to love…”
He stopped struggling, just letting his tears fall as I took a few steps back. I turned my back at him, not wanting to see his face of repulsion and rejection.
“So yeah, hate me all you want… but the best thing I can do is to leave. Let things be like they’re supposed to be. I don’t fit in the story of your life, so just forget you ever knew me… I’ll burn those pictures of you, to make it easier for you…”
“I love you Key… but please don’t love me back. Love the one you’re supposed to love.”
I walked inside my bedroom, not caring to wait for an answer as I locked myself in the bathroom. Time passed by, and even though I didn’t hear the door opening or closing, I knew he was gone. I swallowed my tears back, trying to make the process of forgetting fast enough. I could be happy at last, not now of course, but in a few years. I was able to tell him my reasons to leave, amending my wrongs with the truth. I think an hour passed, and once my tears had finally dried out, I unlocked the door, and walked inside my room once again.
My eyes landed on the angel standing by the window; his pale skin beautifully bathed by the soft glint of the moonlight. His clothe was long gone, his body only covered by a large sized t-shirt just pass his thighs; recognizing my piece of clothing right away. His earthy orbs were staring intently at the way the perfectly shaped snowflakes fell endlessly into the night.
“Key, what are you doing…”
Finally he turned around, making me gulp as small tears descended slowly down his cheeks. My staring was weakening his resolve, but taking a deep breath he stepped forward, and each step that softly echoed through that cold wooden floor made my heart jump in anticipation. He finally stood before me, just within reach, and I felt like god was miserably mocking me with what I couldn’t have… what didn’t belong to me.
“Jinki… let me…” His porcelain hands traveled softly over my bare chest, making me shudder as they lingered on my collarbone for a while, before slowly tangling themselves behind my neck. I tried to fight with myself; with what I was supposed to do and what I wanted to do. I wanted to hug him, sliding my arms around that slender waist while placing kissed over his rosebud lips.
He is not yours I bit my lower lip roughly, sensing my hands were already trembling with the over boarding desire to envelope him in my arms.
“Let me show you… just how perfect you are for me…how perfect we are for each other.” I couldn’t hold my love any longer, even though I had tried to resist. His lips breathed hotly against mine, and finally I wrapped my arms around his awaiting body.
It felt right, perfectly right, the way my hands roamed his covered body with tenderness. I felt touched; touched by the idea of this perfect angel I had hurt so much giving himself to me, just to prove his point of view about perfection. I could care less about the world at that moment, drinking the smell of chocolate and cherries with empty lungs, tasting the sweetness of heaven with my tongue as my lips brushed ever so slightly over parted ones. In that moment I hitched his legs over my hips, walking us awkwardly towards the sleeping bag, I wanted to believe like a kid once again.
I wanted to believe that rain was the sadness of the sky manifesting itself as I placed myself between those delicate legs. I wanted to believe that if you prayed every night god would listen to your pleas as my hands slid slowly over the milky white thighs, Key’s breath hitching every time my hands revealed more and more of that virginal skin. I wanted to believe that dreams did come true as I finally pulled the hem of that shirt up, exposing his tight boxers only meant for my eyes to see.
And I believed.
“J-jinki… please… make me yours.” His eyes sparkled with some hidden secret, like he had been waiting for my hands, like he had waited an eternity to be underneath me, and as my fingers curled around that elastic waistband, making the angel underneath me whimper, I realized he had been waiting for it. I softly placed my lips on top of his swollen ones, and as shaky hands slid down those black shorts off those toned limbs, his soft whimpers were drowned by my tongue coaxing his panting mouth to open.
Maybe this was how things were supposed to turn out, and I couldn’t help but smile as I placed my growing length against his open legs, making him moan in need as my clothed member brushed against his tenderness. He was beautiful; black silky hair spilled all over the pillow like a halo, and his soft nails clawed my buttocks, I couldn’t help but contemplate a little over how faith didn’t seem so bad after all.
Breaths were coming out quick and shortened; my mouth ravaging the swollen lips I had the pleasure to redden. I grounded my hips forward, earning some kind of guttural groan from the twenty two year old in my arms. I could see sparkles beneath my closed eyelids, and as I kept grounding my hips deeper while meeting Key’s upward grinds, pre cum started soaking the front of my sweatpants.
With every thrust, Key seemed to moan more wantonly…and small tears of need started pricking in the corner of his eyes. As I slid myself out of my soaked sweatpants, I took a moment to marble over the perfection in front of me. Key was wide open before me, exposing every inch of his perfect anatomy only for me. Did I felt touched? Very, and as I took my hovering position once again, I somehow felt deep inside that this was right. It felt right when my angry red flesh brushed right above the puckered entrance, and it felt so damn perfect as those long luscious legs wrapped themselves around my torso.
“J-jinki… can you see…just how perfect we are…together…”
I sucked his panting mouth, and thrusting the body fluids were the only lubricant I needed, I pushed forward, snapping my hips right up and into that gorgeous tightness. He was right, we were perfect. His tear filled eyes searched mine desperately, and as I waited for him to adjust to my fat length, I distracted myself with the blur of emotions that poured from those big doo like eyes.
Maybe he was meant for me, with the way he softly whispered over my ear to move. I was hopelessly wrapped around his finger… I always had been, but I didn’t mind too much because he deserved to be taken care of. Each thrust had the younger one crying with pleasure, and the shirt covering his torso was slowing soaking itself with every slick press of our skin. I wanted to prolong this moment, I wanted to put that characteristic smell of him so beautifully mixed with the heavy smell of sweat and love inside a bottle. To perfume it all over me and let it drown me.
I could feel myself nearing the end, and by the way his awakened muscles sucked me and spewed me out, I knew he was close too. I kissed him then, feeling him arch so wonderfully as I sucked his silent scream. Spurs of white blinded my eyes, and soon after I was spilling all over Key, groaning softly at the way his muscles clamped all around me.
Rolling around, I found myself panting heavily, closing my eyes as the after effects still shocked my body with electric impulses. The twenty two year old found its way into my arms; wrapping himself around me while tracing soft patterns over my glistening chest.
“I’m sorry…” I furrowed my eyebrows, looking down to the blushing boy resting against me. Finally his eyes looked up, and I saw genuine regret in his chocolate orbs.
“I’m sorry for slapping you.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, placing a wet kiss against his sweaty forehead while pushing his soaked bangs away.
“No… I should be the one apologizing.. I left without a simple goodbye… hurting your heart on the way. But I wanted you to live the life you were supposed to live before knowing me! And even though that life should be with Chansung I don’t-” A slow tender kiss stopped my speech, making me sigh resignedly.
“Why can’t you see things as clear as me? YOU are the life I’m supposed to live!! And if you walk out of my life once again, you are pretty much leaving me to die… Faith brought us back together… we were meant to meet again… so please…” His desperate eyes triggered something inside me, making me hug the trembling body closer to my flush.
“Please… stay…stay and believe”
I stayed that night, surrounding the sleeping boy in my arms as my eyes brimmed with unshed tears. I stayed, listening to that soft heart beat steadily against mine. I realized somewhere between my tears that I truly wanted to stay, I wanted to believe in destiny all over again.
Maybe… just maybe, this angel in my arms was what I’ve been looking for. Maybe he was the reason I stepped into this town two months ago, and as I watched his moon bathed face in a peaceful manner, I knew I couldn’t bring myself to leave. Not now, when I was swelling with love despite my effortless tries to rip Key out of my life.
“I’ll stay…tonight and forever.”
And as softly as possible, I untangled the limp arms from my naked torso, walking slowly towards my suitcase, trying to be as quiet as possible as I took my almost forgotten sketch book.
I drew him then, with the sun slowly rising over the horizon and his naked body covered by my tattered shirt; legs tangled messily around the bed covers. It was beautiful, and it was true; true as the chalk in my fingers. Was I happy? Absolutely; were we meant for each other? Maybe, but the way his lips tugged upwards in his peaceful slumber, dreaming of endless stories, made me acknowledge that if we weren’t meant for each other in this life, I was gonna pray every night for our next life.
Incarnation was something beautiful, and I would die and live again just to fall in love all over again, cause Key was worth it.
So much worth it.
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->Originally posted ignyte_passion !!
->Original entry here