Fuck this!
For the past couple of days i have been stressed but i guessed it never showed. I dont want to be home, or in humble, or in this stupid state of Texas. I hate it and i want to leave. I feel like people in my house just use me all the time and some people around me too. Today we were in the car looking at houses and like my mom and my grandma were talking about my sister and how like she should be able to go out and be free with her boyfriend and stuff like that. The weird thing of it all is that my dad doesnt like that she has a boyfriend but my mom like goes to him telling him its none of his business and other stuff. I was thinking long and hard about it and i was like why didnt you do that for me when i was punched out the door because of pictures with my boyfriend. I mean they didnt even bother to defend me. They let him hit me and i was like thats messed up that i have to stand up against someone who always says they are never wrong. When i left my mom came running after me and i was like you didnt defend me at all. so i leave and when i leave thats when they do the talking but it wasnt even about my dad kicking me out it was about themselves and i was like do you guys understand that i was kicked out do you? The more i see my sister my mother defends her more. She doesnt have to worry because super mom is at her rescue. I dont know. I feel lonely, unwanted all i do is cry here at home. To tell you guys the truth i am not happy in where i am living. They provide me with stuff but they are trying to buy my love, I dont know maybe i want to be loved and thats why i want a boyfriend, I know i have friends to talk to but do you guys really understand me? I mean yah i am always happy at school and its because thats the only place i feel loved and like respected equally. And then i have to be scared when i come home because of my dad. I never heard anyone having to bring clothes sneak things because of their dad calling them a slut or something. I dont know. Then my mom is getting tired of my dad what do i do like they even talk about it because neither one is happy. I dont know. If they do well i am leaving and i dont know where i will go. Oh gosh if i write anymore i will cry. So i will write soon until i am happy with a smile.