(no subject)
Title: Thank you for the memories
Pairing/Characters: Up to your imagination
Summary: i was just thinking.... about losing a lover. and this came about..... so yea. i guess too many people have been coming to discuss relationship issues with me lately and i just got too swamped in it...
Remember back then? The days where everything was still so whole and nothing was lost; back when there was the you and me who felt the world together, hearts in hands- back when there was an us.
We’ve had a good time haven’t we? Amidst all the fighting and crying, the tears and sorrows and pain… there was that pure simple joy that made everything so, so worth it, wasn’t there?
Well, maybe not to you… But no matter what the others might have thought of our relationship, I’ve never regretted any of it- meeting you, loving you… I did love you- I still do- and I probably always will… I won’t try to let anyone replace you…. No rather, I know there’s no one that could ever make me feel the way you do, and knowing you, you won’t let your presence in my life be replaced anyway.
Is it because you’re afraid that I’ll forget you? You always had a silly way of thinking like that, no matter how many times I had promised that I wouldn’t. But you know… I was happy, even with the countless reassurances I’ve had to comfort you with… because each time, I would be reminded of the importance I held in your life… Importance I constantly forgot, and was afraid to lose. After all, in a relationship like ours, it was hard not to have felt taken for granted at times, unappreciated… unloved, even…
But I’ve always known that you loved me, regardless of those harsh, cruel words we screamed at each other… I’ve always known that the bond between us was strong, unbreakable almost, even though it was so seemingly fragile, I knew that we’d make it through anything together. And we did, didn’t we? We’ve had a good, hard run with this relationship; we’ve had our share of good and bad times…
I… I really don’t want to let you go; don’t want this to end- to let this end- don’t want to say goodbye. But… but I have to, don’t I? I really hate myself… for all the times I made you cry, for all the meaningless but hurtful words I said in my anger… I hate myself, for breaking down, here, when I’m supposed to be strong. I knew what was to happen; I should have been more prepared…. But… how can anyone easily accept losing a loved one? I can’t … I just can’t. Not this soon… I need more time, perhaps… but I feel as if all the time in the world would still not be enough to calm this torrent of emotions within me- the pain, fear, loneliness… the longing, pining, unending loving…
I hate that you left me so early. We haven’t reached our beautiful, perfection of a happily ever after yet… But at the same time, I’m glad… Glad that you’ve left before me, I mean. Living through this… hell is the least I could do, to make up for all those times I hurt you with my words. I would never want you to have to go through this. Ever.
What am I saying…? We’ve had it- the feeling of happiness in our relationship… we’ve found our happily ever after… perfection, that’s all a personal opinion, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t the ideal relationship most couples would like to have… it doesn’t matter if it was different from the others, or if no one else sees the perfection. None of it matters… What matters, is that it’s us, together. And we were happy. How much more perfect can it get than that?
I’ll always cherish them, so thank you… for being you, for meeting me, for loving me… for everything,
Thank you for the memories.