Jason
Jason broke up with me on Feb. 22. We had been together about 4.5 months, so not too long, but long enough for me to get pretty attached. He said he wants to date other people and that this has nothing to do with me. He said it's because he's never really dated around a lot and he needs to get that out of his system before he settles down with someone. He said when he's in a relationship again he doesn't want to have these thoughts about other girls. So he wants to feel secure that he's dated around enough. He said it isn't even about have sex with these girls, it's just about dating and not getting exclusive with anyone.
During all of this he wants to continue dating me too. He told me a part of him is still in love with me, yet he still wants to date around. How messed up is that?
The other night, Saturday (Feb. 25), he broke down crying and told me he's really sorry for what he's done to me. He also feels bad about the two girls before me because he did pretty much the same thing to them. One of them he was with for two years and even lived with for a year. He said he was never really in love with her and during the last year they were together he kept thinking about dating other girls and having doubts. The girl he was with before me he never told he was dating around. Her and him never agreed to be exclusive, but he thinks that she thought they were. But then he only dated her for about a month, he met me and decided to be exclusive with me. That's when he told her about him seeing other people, when he broke if off with her. He admitted that a part of him is still in love with her too.
Now he's really confused and wants to break this pattern. He doesn't know why he keeps doing this and he doesn't want to hurt anyone else from this point on. BUT...he still wants to date around, just not right now. He said he wants to take a month or two to himself before dating around. But that he still wants to date me and possibly get exclusive with me again in the future.
But doesn't he see the problem here? He admits that he's afraid of committment. THAT'S why he wants to date around. That's why he feels this urge to date around. It's because he's afraid of committment. So he's using this "dating around" excuse to run away from his problem instead of facing it. He knows we had a good relationship and that he could have a great thing with me. He knows I'm a good person and that I could make him happy if he'd let me. At least I think he knows these things.
But I really think it all boils down to him just running away from his issues instead of facing them and fixing them. I hope he realizes this over the next month or two, before he starts dating around. Because if he does start dating around, I think he's going to find that it won't help him or make him happy. It's not going to fulfill his needs.
Right now I'm pretty confused myself. I'm not sure what to do. I really love this guy and I really want to be with him. But this is a VERY messed up and tough situation.
So, we're taking a week or two apart to think. He wants me to get over him and move on. But I can't just do that like it's nothing. He means too much to me for me to just give up and walk away.
So now I've got to figure out what I want. Maybe in a month or two I'll still feel this way and I can sit him down and tell him. Hopefully all his soul-searching he's going to do with help him realize that dating around isn't the answer. So then when I sit him down he'll want to try again with me. But if he does I need to know that he's sure he wants that too, because I don't want to go through this again a few months down the road.
So that's been my shitty life for the past few days =(
During all of this he wants to continue dating me too. He told me a part of him is still in love with me, yet he still wants to date around. How messed up is that?
The other night, Saturday (Feb. 25), he broke down crying and told me he's really sorry for what he's done to me. He also feels bad about the two girls before me because he did pretty much the same thing to them. One of them he was with for two years and even lived with for a year. He said he was never really in love with her and during the last year they were together he kept thinking about dating other girls and having doubts. The girl he was with before me he never told he was dating around. Her and him never agreed to be exclusive, but he thinks that she thought they were. But then he only dated her for about a month, he met me and decided to be exclusive with me. That's when he told her about him seeing other people, when he broke if off with her. He admitted that a part of him is still in love with her too.
Now he's really confused and wants to break this pattern. He doesn't know why he keeps doing this and he doesn't want to hurt anyone else from this point on. BUT...he still wants to date around, just not right now. He said he wants to take a month or two to himself before dating around. But that he still wants to date me and possibly get exclusive with me again in the future.
But doesn't he see the problem here? He admits that he's afraid of committment. THAT'S why he wants to date around. That's why he feels this urge to date around. It's because he's afraid of committment. So he's using this "dating around" excuse to run away from his problem instead of facing it. He knows we had a good relationship and that he could have a great thing with me. He knows I'm a good person and that I could make him happy if he'd let me. At least I think he knows these things.
But I really think it all boils down to him just running away from his issues instead of facing them and fixing them. I hope he realizes this over the next month or two, before he starts dating around. Because if he does start dating around, I think he's going to find that it won't help him or make him happy. It's not going to fulfill his needs.
Right now I'm pretty confused myself. I'm not sure what to do. I really love this guy and I really want to be with him. But this is a VERY messed up and tough situation.
So, we're taking a week or two apart to think. He wants me to get over him and move on. But I can't just do that like it's nothing. He means too much to me for me to just give up and walk away.
So now I've got to figure out what I want. Maybe in a month or two I'll still feel this way and I can sit him down and tell him. Hopefully all his soul-searching he's going to do with help him realize that dating around isn't the answer. So then when I sit him down he'll want to try again with me. But if he does I need to know that he's sure he wants that too, because I don't want to go through this again a few months down the road.
So that's been my shitty life for the past few days =(