through their exposure you can see the turbulence
THE DIFFERENCE OF MONSTARS
She sat against the wall with her fingers curled around a cigarette that filled the air with despair. It was the unknownth one in a long hour of nicotine abuse. She didn't smoke any of the them, not fully. They rest between her fingers crying out as they transformed to ash and returned to life as clouds of gray over her head. They didn't shed tears for her so it never rained. But it should have. It'd have been appropriate.
This routine was her own. One she crafted, over years of habit, to control her body and focus her mind. I knew better than to interrupt her, because whatever her state of mind was, it wasn't stabile and she was as likely to jump onto my chest and claw at my eyes are she was to curl into a ball in the corner and cry while swatting any comfort sent towards her. So her routine became mine and when she went into it I sat across from her lit cigarettes as well. The meditative brilliance was wonderful. I started taking smoke breaks at work even though I don't smoke. Sitting outside with wilting tobacco leaves gave you time to be alone, time to be away in your thoughts. Far.
At first, I sat next to her while she was not smoking. I didn't light a cigarette, because I could watch hers. Then I started sitting across from her, but the smoke's pirouettes were no longer mine to enjoy so I began lighting my own.
What's the difference between a monster and a monstar?
She speaks after she has control and her face relaxes. The muscles no longer fight the contortion of the bones to create tension and pressure. From hard and defined to soft in milliseconds. I watch her through the smoke. Time passes between us as an empty ship passing through the channel.
I don't know. Monstar is your term. What's the difference?
After spelling, I'm not sure anymore. I used to have a definition for monstar, but I think I've spread it too thin and it's lost.
You couldn't have spread it as thin as love. Love has lost most of it's meaning with the everyday usage people attribute to it. You are my monstar still holds more weight with me than I love you. I guess I mean that it hasn't been spread thin.
Well then I think I forgot what it means. Do you remember?
I never knew.
Silence. Her short hair snugs to her face and only makes her look better. She got a Caesar cut only a week ago, because she needed something new and yesterday she dyed the top layer white to contrast with her natural black hair. Looking at her is different. It's another person with the same face and attitude. I've seen trees that change their leaves and still maintain more semblance than she has and I don't know how she does it. Change herself on a whim. Even oak trees when they change, stay loyal to their roots. I want to tell her this, but she asks me about other things and it always feels inappropriate to mention it without pretense.
We should come up with a new definition together.
Should we ask people what they think monstar means then?
That's a good idea. We'll ask people at work and our friends and compile their ideas at the end of the week to see what they think it should mean. Then come up with the definition based on it.
Her tone doesn't change while she says that. Many people would be excited, but hers doesn't shine through. Excitement to her is not a lightbulb that you can turn on and off, it's a passion. And she applies the same amount of passion to all things that excite her. Sex gets a slight advantage, but that's passion on top of passion.
I look twice deep into her oversized eyes and agree to ask people what they think it should mean. Some would call her eyes bug-shaped, but they're not the perfect round shape. They're fat almonds, but I dislike that expression, because almond implies tiny or slim to me and her eyes aren't. Exaggerated would be the best term to describe them, although they do share pigmentation with an almond. But so do hedgehogs.
She stands up to go to sleep and I join her an hour or so later. Thinking about what monstar means to me. The wall sighs in relief when I leave. I should probably get a chair.
TBC I'm tired and sick and needed to start this because it's in my head as something I want to write, edit, and then submit. Although I know what the definition of monstar means to the story please tell me what you think it means.
She sat against the wall with her fingers curled around a cigarette that filled the air with despair. It was the unknownth one in a long hour of nicotine abuse. She didn't smoke any of the them, not fully. They rest between her fingers crying out as they transformed to ash and returned to life as clouds of gray over her head. They didn't shed tears for her so it never rained. But it should have. It'd have been appropriate.
This routine was her own. One she crafted, over years of habit, to control her body and focus her mind. I knew better than to interrupt her, because whatever her state of mind was, it wasn't stabile and she was as likely to jump onto my chest and claw at my eyes are she was to curl into a ball in the corner and cry while swatting any comfort sent towards her. So her routine became mine and when she went into it I sat across from her lit cigarettes as well. The meditative brilliance was wonderful. I started taking smoke breaks at work even though I don't smoke. Sitting outside with wilting tobacco leaves gave you time to be alone, time to be away in your thoughts. Far.
At first, I sat next to her while she was not smoking. I didn't light a cigarette, because I could watch hers. Then I started sitting across from her, but the smoke's pirouettes were no longer mine to enjoy so I began lighting my own.
What's the difference between a monster and a monstar?
She speaks after she has control and her face relaxes. The muscles no longer fight the contortion of the bones to create tension and pressure. From hard and defined to soft in milliseconds. I watch her through the smoke. Time passes between us as an empty ship passing through the channel.
I don't know. Monstar is your term. What's the difference?
After spelling, I'm not sure anymore. I used to have a definition for monstar, but I think I've spread it too thin and it's lost.
You couldn't have spread it as thin as love. Love has lost most of it's meaning with the everyday usage people attribute to it. You are my monstar still holds more weight with me than I love you. I guess I mean that it hasn't been spread thin.
Well then I think I forgot what it means. Do you remember?
I never knew.
Silence. Her short hair snugs to her face and only makes her look better. She got a Caesar cut only a week ago, because she needed something new and yesterday she dyed the top layer white to contrast with her natural black hair. Looking at her is different. It's another person with the same face and attitude. I've seen trees that change their leaves and still maintain more semblance than she has and I don't know how she does it. Change herself on a whim. Even oak trees when they change, stay loyal to their roots. I want to tell her this, but she asks me about other things and it always feels inappropriate to mention it without pretense.
We should come up with a new definition together.
Should we ask people what they think monstar means then?
That's a good idea. We'll ask people at work and our friends and compile their ideas at the end of the week to see what they think it should mean. Then come up with the definition based on it.
Her tone doesn't change while she says that. Many people would be excited, but hers doesn't shine through. Excitement to her is not a lightbulb that you can turn on and off, it's a passion. And she applies the same amount of passion to all things that excite her. Sex gets a slight advantage, but that's passion on top of passion.
I look twice deep into her oversized eyes and agree to ask people what they think it should mean. Some would call her eyes bug-shaped, but they're not the perfect round shape. They're fat almonds, but I dislike that expression, because almond implies tiny or slim to me and her eyes aren't. Exaggerated would be the best term to describe them, although they do share pigmentation with an almond. But so do hedgehogs.
She stands up to go to sleep and I join her an hour or so later. Thinking about what monstar means to me. The wall sighs in relief when I leave. I should probably get a chair.
TBC I'm tired and sick and needed to start this because it's in my head as something I want to write, edit, and then submit. Although I know what the definition of monstar means to the story please tell me what you think it means.