Roots are exposed, secrets revealed.

[muffledvelvet]

a note I leave for the monstar in my closet
I.
holding the neck up, a bowed head
clouds heavy with gray despair
two new hands knead the collarbone
happiness is little moments
unobtainable for some hearts

on a farm, three bodies fill the yard
steam rising from the holes in their chests

a mortified son can't pull away
in the bedroom new hands work
they come from the old body
no one calls yet. shock, relief overrides.

weighed down. free now.
ten second happiness
one kiss and it has blown away
and it's all over now.
weighed down. head down.

II.
Lately I've been able to understand,
the moments we had,
were not meant to last.
My eyes see you in the kitchen cleaning dishes,
in the laundry room separating clothes.
I see myself behind you,
mumbling in your ear till you giggle.
Prolonging one ten second moment
into thrown plates and slurred hate.
Lately I've been able to understand,
the moments we had,
were meant to last.
Even if we didn't.

I'll be with you always,
when you smile and when your heart breaks.
My hands are tied to you.
I've learned from the mistakes.
When I look into my closet,
you won't go away
so I'm here to stay.