(no subject)
so i dont think anyone uses this anymore... but thats ok, as always this is more for my own benefit than anyone elses....
lindsay gets married tomorrow... not to me...
on the appropriate time line it would have been me, but its not.
its weird to think that i was so ok with that being my future back then, just finishing my degree and getting married and getting a dog and a white picket fence and 2.5 kids and all that cliche stuff.... but now id be scared to death if someone told me i was getting married to ANYONE tomorrow.
but my fucking brain wont stop hounding me with the what ifs and the what could bes....
i have a wonderful honeybear in my life that i love and cherish dearly. she makes me smile and the closest we have ever come to a fight is in agreeing to disagree... we've talked about marriage but nothing NOW.... it just seems like that is what my generation is off doing right now, getting degrees and getting married.... i just dont see where i fit into this mold...
i WANT my degree
i WANT to get married... someday
but first i kinda thought id always want to LIVE a little first....
it just seems so odd to me that this is the way it is.... can i stop thinking and dreaming about her now? will it stop being torture that i dont know the few thoughts passing through her brain? i just want that chapter of my life over with so i can begin everything that is fresh and new.... i want her to be happy, and fulfilled... but most of all i dont want to KNOW or CARE if she is happy or fulfilled.... I WANT TO BE HAPPY AND FULFILLED!!!
i deserve it
so do you
the man, the myth, the legend...............'cause im drew fry goddammitt
lindsay gets married tomorrow... not to me...
on the appropriate time line it would have been me, but its not.
its weird to think that i was so ok with that being my future back then, just finishing my degree and getting married and getting a dog and a white picket fence and 2.5 kids and all that cliche stuff.... but now id be scared to death if someone told me i was getting married to ANYONE tomorrow.
but my fucking brain wont stop hounding me with the what ifs and the what could bes....
i have a wonderful honeybear in my life that i love and cherish dearly. she makes me smile and the closest we have ever come to a fight is in agreeing to disagree... we've talked about marriage but nothing NOW.... it just seems like that is what my generation is off doing right now, getting degrees and getting married.... i just dont see where i fit into this mold...
i WANT my degree
i WANT to get married... someday
but first i kinda thought id always want to LIVE a little first....
it just seems so odd to me that this is the way it is.... can i stop thinking and dreaming about her now? will it stop being torture that i dont know the few thoughts passing through her brain? i just want that chapter of my life over with so i can begin everything that is fresh and new.... i want her to be happy, and fulfilled... but most of all i dont want to KNOW or CARE if she is happy or fulfilled.... I WANT TO BE HAPPY AND FULFILLED!!!
i deserve it
so do you
the man, the myth, the legend...............'cause im drew fry goddammitt