(no subject)
wow.... its been so long since i've written anything in here... but, then again i've been quite busy. parenthood. what a trip that has been so far. it has been the most amazing, painful, time consuming, joyous, & strange experience of my life. its definately not an easy job. so many worries i wouldn't know where to begin.
somedays, you wonder when the crying will stop because he's teething, or he's had a shot or maybe he needs a nap but won't calm down long enough to be comforted first in order to go to sleep. or he's crying all the way home & you don't know what to do because he's not calmed by your voice & there's nothing you really can do until you get home. or there's just no logic to his crying after you've done everything that can be done.
there are good days though, where he just smiles all day long & everything you do is just absolutely amazing to him. that look in his eyes where you know that you're the world to him & every bad day you've ever known is gone in an instant like the flash of a camera. or the way he looks at you from across the room just makes you feel so special because he's actually looking for you because you know that he loves you. its just such a wonderful feeling.
in all of my 21 years of life (soon to be 22 next month) i never thought that i'd ever have children. to take care of someone so little & helpless, someone who loves you no matter what, who smiles & laughs just because you yawn & likes to use you as a recliner, a bed, a spit up cloth, personal bather, taxi, as well as playmate, & whatever else i forgot to mention, is just the best thing i've ever done & probably will ever do. i know, its sounds cheesy but its really not. i honestly wouldn't trade it for the world. wow...