hmmmm.......
So, here I am, on my day off, a bunch of sticky notes going undone. Once again, I am suffering from a severe migraine. I honestly just can't take this anymore. I have so many things I needed and wanted to get done today. I did manage to mod Marauder Era, but I didn't get to grading MWPP class. Well, there is always Friday or Saturday to do that. I wanted to clean my room, but that isn't happening today. Guess I will put that on the list for Saturday.
I am in the middle of a new Visits from Fred Christmas one-shot, maybe I'll work on that a bit later. I needed to go pick up a bag of stuff I left at the dollar store on Saturday, maybe I'll have sis run up later. I needed to go to the post office, hmmm, guess the last of my Christmas cards will be really late.
Justin is scheduled for surgery on January 7th. He has to go for testing next week. I can admit here, even if I don't admit it in RL, I am terrified. I know it is a good thing they are going in to seal the artery. They may even be putting his skull back on, but I doubt it. This is a good thing. But, I am just so scared. I can't even imagine going through a fraction of that terror again.
My oldest son posted an interesting post on facebook about hating Christmas. If you are interested in his post and my response, click the link. By Jayson: I'm writing this blog post for all my friends that aren't appreciative of the Christmas season. I can't, in good faith, include those that work in retail (well... in a way I can) because I've done retail this time of year and it's not fun. I asked my daughter over this past weekend what Christmas means to her. Without hesitation she told me it means to her that she spends more time with the people that she loves and has fun. She also said it's to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Presents... came third. She's 7 and could not make me more proud of her than she did! At 7 I could care less about my family or Jesus, I wanted PRESENTS. (Now, understand, the whole Jesus thing, I'm not Christian so while I felt a bit of uncertainty that she isn't learning about other faiths I know enough to know that her time to choose her faith will come one day. And it's not right now, having faith in something is fantastic, as long as it's something!) Anyway, I got to thinking. Where along the line do we go from Christmas loving kids to Scrooge-like adults? Also, is there a way that we can get that joy back? Is it a choice? Do we hate Christmas because of something that's reality or simply because it's an inconvenience for us? Here's what I discovered after meditating on this for a couple hours... As kids we loved Christmas because it represented that we were part of something special. We got school off. We got to spend time with family. We got presents. People had lights outside their house. And we were PART of it. We all want to be a PART of something, kids and adults alike. We were able to surrender to the spirit of the holiday. As adults, many of us have built our own self-worth up so high, that we cannot surrender to anything. However, Christmas still comes and we are forced into the season. So, naturally, our ego's resent the fact that this event is not in our control. There are long lines at stores, there are more people shopping, traffic is worse, we have to buy a tree and decorate, we have to work harder! It's not our choice... so therefore it's negative and henceforth we hate it. It fills our mind. Makes us angry. Our blood pressure gets higher because we feel that we are not in control. None of these things are beneficial to us. It is not beneficial physically, emotionally, or spiritually. There is nothing about hating Christmas that helps us in any way. However... There is a great benefit to us by appreciating the holiday season. We can enjoy the time. Enjoy the cold weather. Enjoy spending time with family, enjoy our faith, enjoy the day off work that we all get. Enjoy the fact that our hearts are still beating in our chests. I don't want to seem however, all sitting pretty on my high horse of peacefulness with my fortunate life. I'm sure some folk read this and think, "Oh he's just happy because he doesn't have anything to worry about". That is the furthest thing from the truth! I've had probably the worst year of my life. Let's go through, really quickly, the shit things that I've done though this year. I've accepted the fact that my marriage is over, I've ventured into dating to disastrous results and a freshly broken heart, my only real sibling was a hair away from dying (and still is not doing as well as I would like), money problems beyond believe, health issues (that no one knows about!). And... I've gone through all of this while living 650 miles away from all of my family and friends that care about me. I've done all of this by myself. The point is... many people would have folded long ago with the hand I was dealt. Yet, I'm not asking for sympathy. I have it from those that mean the world to me and it's enough for me. My whole point is this... surrender to the season. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Be thankful when the negative things are gone but do not let these negative things dictate how you feel about Christmas. By hating Christmas because of long lineshttp://www.livejournal.com/update.bml at Walmart, we are ultimately powerless against it. Be stronger than that! For any that still aren't buying into what I'm selling I have a challenge for you. Go to your local mall and find where Santa is (shouldn't be too hard to find). Sit there for at least 20 minutes (I MEAN 20 minutes at LEAST) and watch the children sitting on Santa's lap. Watch them and joy that they feel just by being there. We're adults, and we all know that the whole thing is total bullshit. However, I DARE you not smile at least once in those 20 minutes. I don't care who you are the joy on children's faces when they see "Santa" is infectious. Those are the moments that anyone can appreciate. Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, Democrat, Republican, Black, White, Man, or Woman, you WILL smile at least once. That moment of happiness is what Christmas is about. That singular moment is enough to celebrate. That moment is worth the long lines, the traffic, the inconvenience. Enjoy it, and celebrate that moment of your smile. It's the most precious thing that will ever be on this earth and it only lasts for a second. Merry Christmas everyone!!!! By me in response: Jay, thank you. Someone at work asked me what I want for Christmas. The usual answer has been the same for the past several years, I merely want all my kids and grandkids together and a picture of all of you. However, this year, my first words were I have what I want, Justin alive. Though I am still holding out hope for that picture of everyone, someday... We all get frustrated trying to get everything done and because getting it done is out of our control. Children have the unique ability to see only the happiness and fun. As parents and grandparents we deal with making it that way for them. We all do need to stop and take a page from a child's book and look at the wonders that are Christmas. Taylor is an amazing child. She reminds me of you in so many ways. However, you are correct in the fact that at seven, you only were interested in presents. I believe that Christmas was Ninja Turtles. ... See More So, over the next couple days, when I am frustrated with trying to find time to finish shopping when I have to work long hours, I am going to step back and remember the smiles of my children on Christmas mornings of long ago. Christmas isn't about the traffic, lines and prices. It is about those smiles. I love you and Taylor. And as Bec said, we do talk and think about both of you everyday. I should add, my son is a Buddhist. Sometimes I am amazed at how wonderful he turned out even with me for a mother.
So, now I am watching the two little ones while Kerstin and Justin are off getting Christmas presents for the kids. I guess I will get some things done today. I want to finish my Visits from Fred one-shot. At least then I may feel I accomplished something. Happy holidays to all. In my son's words, let's remember the joy of the holidays through the eyes of a child. It does help.
I am in the middle of a new Visits from Fred Christmas one-shot, maybe I'll work on that a bit later. I needed to go pick up a bag of stuff I left at the dollar store on Saturday, maybe I'll have sis run up later. I needed to go to the post office, hmmm, guess the last of my Christmas cards will be really late.
Justin is scheduled for surgery on January 7th. He has to go for testing next week. I can admit here, even if I don't admit it in RL, I am terrified. I know it is a good thing they are going in to seal the artery. They may even be putting his skull back on, but I doubt it. This is a good thing. But, I am just so scared. I can't even imagine going through a fraction of that terror again.
My oldest son posted an interesting post on facebook about hating Christmas. If you are interested in his post and my response, click the link. By Jayson: I'm writing this blog post for all my friends that aren't appreciative of the Christmas season. I can't, in good faith, include those that work in retail (well... in a way I can) because I've done retail this time of year and it's not fun. I asked my daughter over this past weekend what Christmas means to her. Without hesitation she told me it means to her that she spends more time with the people that she loves and has fun. She also said it's to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Presents... came third. She's 7 and could not make me more proud of her than she did! At 7 I could care less about my family or Jesus, I wanted PRESENTS. (Now, understand, the whole Jesus thing, I'm not Christian so while I felt a bit of uncertainty that she isn't learning about other faiths I know enough to know that her time to choose her faith will come one day. And it's not right now, having faith in something is fantastic, as long as it's something!) Anyway, I got to thinking. Where along the line do we go from Christmas loving kids to Scrooge-like adults? Also, is there a way that we can get that joy back? Is it a choice? Do we hate Christmas because of something that's reality or simply because it's an inconvenience for us? Here's what I discovered after meditating on this for a couple hours... As kids we loved Christmas because it represented that we were part of something special. We got school off. We got to spend time with family. We got presents. People had lights outside their house. And we were PART of it. We all want to be a PART of something, kids and adults alike. We were able to surrender to the spirit of the holiday. As adults, many of us have built our own self-worth up so high, that we cannot surrender to anything. However, Christmas still comes and we are forced into the season. So, naturally, our ego's resent the fact that this event is not in our control. There are long lines at stores, there are more people shopping, traffic is worse, we have to buy a tree and decorate, we have to work harder! It's not our choice... so therefore it's negative and henceforth we hate it. It fills our mind. Makes us angry. Our blood pressure gets higher because we feel that we are not in control. None of these things are beneficial to us. It is not beneficial physically, emotionally, or spiritually. There is nothing about hating Christmas that helps us in any way. However... There is a great benefit to us by appreciating the holiday season. We can enjoy the time. Enjoy the cold weather. Enjoy spending time with family, enjoy our faith, enjoy the day off work that we all get. Enjoy the fact that our hearts are still beating in our chests. I don't want to seem however, all sitting pretty on my high horse of peacefulness with my fortunate life. I'm sure some folk read this and think, "Oh he's just happy because he doesn't have anything to worry about". That is the furthest thing from the truth! I've had probably the worst year of my life. Let's go through, really quickly, the shit things that I've done though this year. I've accepted the fact that my marriage is over, I've ventured into dating to disastrous results and a freshly broken heart, my only real sibling was a hair away from dying (and still is not doing as well as I would like), money problems beyond believe, health issues (that no one knows about!). And... I've gone through all of this while living 650 miles away from all of my family and friends that care about me. I've done all of this by myself. The point is... many people would have folded long ago with the hand I was dealt. Yet, I'm not asking for sympathy. I have it from those that mean the world to me and it's enough for me. My whole point is this... surrender to the season. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Be thankful when the negative things are gone but do not let these negative things dictate how you feel about Christmas. By hating Christmas because of long lineshttp://www.livejournal.com/update.bml at Walmart, we are ultimately powerless against it. Be stronger than that! For any that still aren't buying into what I'm selling I have a challenge for you. Go to your local mall and find where Santa is (shouldn't be too hard to find). Sit there for at least 20 minutes (I MEAN 20 minutes at LEAST) and watch the children sitting on Santa's lap. Watch them and joy that they feel just by being there. We're adults, and we all know that the whole thing is total bullshit. However, I DARE you not smile at least once in those 20 minutes. I don't care who you are the joy on children's faces when they see "Santa" is infectious. Those are the moments that anyone can appreciate. Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, Democrat, Republican, Black, White, Man, or Woman, you WILL smile at least once. That moment of happiness is what Christmas is about. That singular moment is enough to celebrate. That moment is worth the long lines, the traffic, the inconvenience. Enjoy it, and celebrate that moment of your smile. It's the most precious thing that will ever be on this earth and it only lasts for a second. Merry Christmas everyone!!!! By me in response: Jay, thank you. Someone at work asked me what I want for Christmas. The usual answer has been the same for the past several years, I merely want all my kids and grandkids together and a picture of all of you. However, this year, my first words were I have what I want, Justin alive. Though I am still holding out hope for that picture of everyone, someday... We all get frustrated trying to get everything done and because getting it done is out of our control. Children have the unique ability to see only the happiness and fun. As parents and grandparents we deal with making it that way for them. We all do need to stop and take a page from a child's book and look at the wonders that are Christmas. Taylor is an amazing child. She reminds me of you in so many ways. However, you are correct in the fact that at seven, you only were interested in presents. I believe that Christmas was Ninja Turtles. ... See More So, over the next couple days, when I am frustrated with trying to find time to finish shopping when I have to work long hours, I am going to step back and remember the smiles of my children on Christmas mornings of long ago. Christmas isn't about the traffic, lines and prices. It is about those smiles. I love you and Taylor. And as Bec said, we do talk and think about both of you everyday. I should add, my son is a Buddhist. Sometimes I am amazed at how wonderful he turned out even with me for a mother.
So, now I am watching the two little ones while Kerstin and Justin are off getting Christmas presents for the kids. I guess I will get some things done today. I want to finish my Visits from Fred one-shot. At least then I may feel I accomplished something. Happy holidays to all. In my son's words, let's remember the joy of the holidays through the eyes of a child. It does help.