Bupkis

[muchtooarrogant]

LJ Idol, Week Seven

Comments

[basric]

I love this, so well written.

[muchtooarrogant]

Thank you! Much appreciated.

Dan

[jem0000000]

I love the detailed way you draw the reader into your character's world, and also the details that connect each part of this -- Toni's tapping foot, the way each of the emotions at the end are foreshadowed in the intro, the description of the sofa coupled with the character's imagination

[muchtooarrogant]

First, and most importantly, thank you so much for taking the time to give such detailed feedback. You definitely made me think a lot about what I had written here

[jem0000000]

You're welcome!

My brother says lollerskates sometimes! *smiley* I always steal the cat's; hers come pre-warmed from all the cat-naps she takes. *winking smiley*

No problem; I wouldn't have noticed if you had. I spent today doing house stuff. *big smile* We now have a tentative closing date for the first week of January.

You're welcome! Hopefully things with the house are settling into a less paperwork-heavy stage now, and I'll have more time regardless. I know I could have responded to you sooner if I had gotten online as soon as I got home.

[muchtooarrogant]

Yay for obtaining the house closing date. Can I be nosey and ask when it is? It's not bad luck to spread the date around, is it?

Dan

[sarcasmoqueen]

Thoroughly enjoyed. I really liked how you started off so typically kid-ish, in the sense of that fantay world that we all went into when we were young, and then it got ust a little... creepy.
Nice work!

[muchtooarrogant]

Thank you! Yes, I wanted to start with that sense of innocence, pull everyone into what would appear to be a simple childhood rememberance, and then take it in a completely unexpected direction. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Dan

[lapis_lazuli615]

playing kid turned creepy. i like it!

[muchtooarrogant]

Thank you! That was definitely what I was going for. A little late Halloween reading. :)

Dan

[whipchick]

Interesting twist, how this goes from being a childhood recollection to a horror story!

[muchtooarrogant]

A lot of my favorite stories have twists like that. Everything's familiar, and then you're thrown into a completely diffferent world.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Dan