Yes, I'm updating...
Wow...it's been a month and EVERYTHING under the sun has been going on since then.
I have to apologize to all my retreat buddies for not keeping in touch; I feel soooooo horrible about not sending a reflection recently. AY!
So...
School - sucking really bad. I don't know if it's just me or it really is the subject matter, but two F's in my EE classes is not reflecting well for me, my major decision and what I have laid out for my 10-year plan. If I don't pass these two classes with B's, the entire plan is screwed. As for the other classes, I'm just barely keeping the A's in those classes by the skin of my pants. School is so difficult to keep up with when you're so involved with so many people's lives besides your own.
Work - one of the ways I'm involved in other people's lives. I can't say that I don't like the job. I really love how youth-ministry oriented it is, but this "retreat-style" energy and creativity are not compatible with the energy needed to keep a social life balanced with a work life balanced with a religious life balanced with a school life....ay yi yi. I'm always pushing myself, going above and beyond...tiring myself out...lol. Another mental note: I'm so happy this weekend will be the last of my weekend on-calls!!! Yea!
Religion - thank goodness for Mass to keep me going with my singing. I miss singing in chorus so much, but with absolutely no time, I can't imagine trying to add it in to my schedule. Mass is sometimes so uplifting and sometimes so downing.
Why can't religion and state stay seperated like they agreed!?
The latest - this weekend started off SO GOOD and ended so BAD, leading into a HORRIBLE week so far (and it's only Tuesday!!!) Friday night started with Chicago City Limits: America Idles improvisational NY touring group performing at the Union Theatre. The show was great, and meeting the cast and bringing them to LSU Late Night was SO MUCH FUN. Karoake....TOUCHED LIKE A VIRGIN...hahaha! Saturday morning, we had an improv training session with the cast...how very cool, and in the afternoon, we had a creativity session with one of the cast members. To do some skill building with professional actors is something I never thought I'd be doing before, and I thank the cast of CCL for all their work and dedication this past weekend!!! Then Sat. night started the downhill of EVERYTHING...
I've been compared to a rapist in how I treat people's feelings, told I care about only myself and not others, and many other things that totally brought my high-morale down to bottom!
Then, Sunday night, I walk all the way over to this guy's apartment. The guy: Jeff. I met him about 3-4 weeks ago, and when we first got together, we were over at one or the other's place every night. He's made me dinner, and we've gone shopping together...everything was turning out so nice, so perfect. I was really feeling I might have a truly intimate relationship that revolved around our total being, and not just sexual tension. Well, after our first amazing week, I ended up not seeing or hearing from Jeff for two whole weeks. Very little chit chat during that time. Last night, he tells me he wasn't really ignoring me, but that he's not really ready for a relationship right now because he's so stressed and trying to deal with that right now. What has me all confused are the away messages and journal entries and dropping off the face of the earth when it comes to our relationship/friendship...whatever you want to call it. I walked off campus to his apartment to talk to him/give him back his Will & Grace Season 1 DVD-set and ended up never seeing him because he wasn't there. I've felt so rejected, and when he told me yesterday that he didn't want to build our relationship too much right now, it only got worse...I mean, this whole "relationship game" for me always has me turning out to be the loser.
I'm tired of falling in love and not being loved in return!
:::big sigh:::
Another quick note: Tonight, I went to a show called "US" produced and performed by Tim Miller. Very good show about inequality and injustice in America for gay and lesbian citizens and especially couples. I wish more people could've been there.
So, I'm sorry for venting, but I've needed to.
I don't know how this is all going to come together, but I really hope it comes together for the better.
Maybe Disney next semester will actually be a relaxing 4 months...
:::ahhhhhhhhh::: Until later...
~PJ
I have to apologize to all my retreat buddies for not keeping in touch; I feel soooooo horrible about not sending a reflection recently. AY!
So...
School - sucking really bad. I don't know if it's just me or it really is the subject matter, but two F's in my EE classes is not reflecting well for me, my major decision and what I have laid out for my 10-year plan. If I don't pass these two classes with B's, the entire plan is screwed. As for the other classes, I'm just barely keeping the A's in those classes by the skin of my pants. School is so difficult to keep up with when you're so involved with so many people's lives besides your own.
Work - one of the ways I'm involved in other people's lives. I can't say that I don't like the job. I really love how youth-ministry oriented it is, but this "retreat-style" energy and creativity are not compatible with the energy needed to keep a social life balanced with a work life balanced with a religious life balanced with a school life....ay yi yi. I'm always pushing myself, going above and beyond...tiring myself out...lol. Another mental note: I'm so happy this weekend will be the last of my weekend on-calls!!! Yea!
Religion - thank goodness for Mass to keep me going with my singing. I miss singing in chorus so much, but with absolutely no time, I can't imagine trying to add it in to my schedule. Mass is sometimes so uplifting and sometimes so downing.
Why can't religion and state stay seperated like they agreed!?
The latest - this weekend started off SO GOOD and ended so BAD, leading into a HORRIBLE week so far (and it's only Tuesday!!!) Friday night started with Chicago City Limits: America Idles improvisational NY touring group performing at the Union Theatre. The show was great, and meeting the cast and bringing them to LSU Late Night was SO MUCH FUN. Karoake....TOUCHED LIKE A VIRGIN...hahaha! Saturday morning, we had an improv training session with the cast...how very cool, and in the afternoon, we had a creativity session with one of the cast members. To do some skill building with professional actors is something I never thought I'd be doing before, and I thank the cast of CCL for all their work and dedication this past weekend!!! Then Sat. night started the downhill of EVERYTHING...
I've been compared to a rapist in how I treat people's feelings, told I care about only myself and not others, and many other things that totally brought my high-morale down to bottom!
Then, Sunday night, I walk all the way over to this guy's apartment. The guy: Jeff. I met him about 3-4 weeks ago, and when we first got together, we were over at one or the other's place every night. He's made me dinner, and we've gone shopping together...everything was turning out so nice, so perfect. I was really feeling I might have a truly intimate relationship that revolved around our total being, and not just sexual tension. Well, after our first amazing week, I ended up not seeing or hearing from Jeff for two whole weeks. Very little chit chat during that time. Last night, he tells me he wasn't really ignoring me, but that he's not really ready for a relationship right now because he's so stressed and trying to deal with that right now. What has me all confused are the away messages and journal entries and dropping off the face of the earth when it comes to our relationship/friendship...whatever you want to call it. I walked off campus to his apartment to talk to him/give him back his Will & Grace Season 1 DVD-set and ended up never seeing him because he wasn't there. I've felt so rejected, and when he told me yesterday that he didn't want to build our relationship too much right now, it only got worse...I mean, this whole "relationship game" for me always has me turning out to be the loser.
I'm tired of falling in love and not being loved in return!
:::big sigh:::
Another quick note: Tonight, I went to a show called "US" produced and performed by Tim Miller. Very good show about inequality and injustice in America for gay and lesbian citizens and especially couples. I wish more people could've been there.
So, I'm sorry for venting, but I've needed to.
I don't know how this is all going to come together, but I really hope it comes together for the better.
Maybe Disney next semester will actually be a relaxing 4 months...
:::ahhhhhhhhh::: Until later...
~PJ