Back from the dead...
Hi people. I know I haven't posted in a while, even though a lot has happened. Anyway I feel like I owe an update to anyone who still follows this journal.
College is coming to an end for me, it being my last semester and all. I would say all in all I had a good experience. There were ups, there were downs, and friends came and went, but the most important thing is when I look at where I was 5 years ago and where I am now I feel like these have been some of the most positive and productive years of my life.
5 years ago I was someone I barely recognize. I was abrupt and abrasive. I was too self absorbed to make any real connections. I had no self confidence--relying on everyone around me to boost my self esteem. I also had enough tension in my back to rival the hunchback of Notre Dame. I obsessed over high school. I was so far into my shell and maintaining an illusion I couldn't even see the outside world. I had beliefs that were based on very little.
But I grew. I came to care about people, and through this care I developed attachments I never thought possible and eased some of the constant emotional pain that had built up over the years. Some old wounds were healed, both mine and others'. And with all of this healing I grew to have my own self confidence, and through my close friends I shifted and changed, letting my true personality shine forth as the real world opened up before my eyes and I got to add my own color to it. Tension faded as did my obsession with high school. In fact these days, every so often, I get a friend request from someone from high school.
In addition my interest in other people shifted. It had less to do with how they feel about me (although I do still worry about that too much) and more to do with their lives. There are plenty of people out there: some beautiful; some smart; some interesting; some boring some dumb; some ugly. I've learned a lot from all sorts of people, from approaches to life to interests, to hardships, to just fun little facts. People have imprinted on me, as I have imprinted on them. They've shown me experiences I never would have had otherwise. Every single one has been valuable as well--even the painful ones.
All in all, I don't think I could have asked for more in these 5 years. I will always look back at college with fondness, and I hope to grow, learn and just have fun in the real world as I have here.
So I guess what I'm trying to say to everyone here is thank you. And when I say everyone I mean everyone--not just people who were nice to me or even just people who are on good terms with me. Every single one of you helped me become a better person even if I didn't like the lesson you were teaching me at the time. I wish you all well and hope that you too are learning and growing from everything that happens in your life.
Good luck!
~Leah
College is coming to an end for me, it being my last semester and all. I would say all in all I had a good experience. There were ups, there were downs, and friends came and went, but the most important thing is when I look at where I was 5 years ago and where I am now I feel like these have been some of the most positive and productive years of my life.
5 years ago I was someone I barely recognize. I was abrupt and abrasive. I was too self absorbed to make any real connections. I had no self confidence--relying on everyone around me to boost my self esteem. I also had enough tension in my back to rival the hunchback of Notre Dame. I obsessed over high school. I was so far into my shell and maintaining an illusion I couldn't even see the outside world. I had beliefs that were based on very little.
But I grew. I came to care about people, and through this care I developed attachments I never thought possible and eased some of the constant emotional pain that had built up over the years. Some old wounds were healed, both mine and others'. And with all of this healing I grew to have my own self confidence, and through my close friends I shifted and changed, letting my true personality shine forth as the real world opened up before my eyes and I got to add my own color to it. Tension faded as did my obsession with high school. In fact these days, every so often, I get a friend request from someone from high school.
In addition my interest in other people shifted. It had less to do with how they feel about me (although I do still worry about that too much) and more to do with their lives. There are plenty of people out there: some beautiful; some smart; some interesting; some boring some dumb; some ugly. I've learned a lot from all sorts of people, from approaches to life to interests, to hardships, to just fun little facts. People have imprinted on me, as I have imprinted on them. They've shown me experiences I never would have had otherwise. Every single one has been valuable as well--even the painful ones.
All in all, I don't think I could have asked for more in these 5 years. I will always look back at college with fondness, and I hope to grow, learn and just have fun in the real world as I have here.
So I guess what I'm trying to say to everyone here is thank you. And when I say everyone I mean everyone--not just people who were nice to me or even just people who are on good terms with me. Every single one of you helped me become a better person even if I didn't like the lesson you were teaching me at the time. I wish you all well and hope that you too are learning and growing from everything that happens in your life.
Good luck!
~Leah