men with money...
anonymous
December 23 2007, 20:24:52 UTC
Ok, so let's say that you're looking for a move at the video store, and you wander over to the popular hits isle, and boom, it hits you between the eyes, Pretty Woman.
A classic in its way, a study in gender roles, a study taken so far that it tortures the soul. Wildly popular, this torture. (Surely, you think, there are more fun forms of torture...)
Julia Roberts plays the hooker with a heart of gold. She represents women. (see...torture...) The brilliant director has her act out the following stereotypes:
Fragile Goofy Unfocused Cute Girly Innocent Sexy Sexless Incapable to the point of being unable to dress herself properly without help from a man Doe eyed
Now Richard Gere is the man. Here's his character:
Strong Rich Powerful Smart Kind, knowing the world Rich Sweet Amused by the childlike quality of Julia Roberts Rich Manly, because.. he has money
OK, so besides hating this movie, I have a separate point.
If there is an old stereotype of men, it's that the manly man is the provider, a wage earner, a big bucks buck. The problem here is that any man with half a brain feels (or, I think, should feel) the same way about this stereotype that women feel about the Julia Roberts stereotype of women- ouch, that turns us into things, things to be acquired, not actual human beings.
Sooo... this leads me to the question of what kind of man would put his income on Match.com? My guess is men who have consciously or unconsciously accepted the social pressure to fit the most traditional role. Accepting the role, there's pride when the obligations of the role are amply fulfilled. A job well done. Big bucks that is. Hmm. Christian/Catholic. Sales and Marketing. Blue Shirts. Drawing inside the lines. Practical education. (Looking for green blue eyes...)
I have a sort of emotional reaction to this, because I'm not comfortable with the traditional roles- it seems to me what whenever they're accepted, they're likely to become cruel yardsticks of measure. Ultimately, these yardsticks for gender roles slay the full expression of actual human beings.
Jeez, what a cranky guy, I know.
Perhaps a little kindness, a little love. Because no one is to blame here. We all grow up with roles, and my experience is they're pretty hard to drop. Entrenched in our thinking, down to our subconscious. And I don't judge the men, even as I cringe at the roles. There may be some really kind and loving men playing these roles, hoping for movie ending. I hope they find it.
But this I ask... when we hit 40, and fulfilling a role hasn't brought the love we want, just the trappings, and we go out and buy a Porsche because our midlife crisis is deep, what then? Because then it's a challenge, because our promised reward for playing the role hasn't materialized. Now where are we? Letting go of assumed standards, how can we know our own value? What now do we offer to another, to earn their love?
A classic in its way, a study in gender roles, a study taken so far that it tortures the soul. Wildly popular, this torture. (Surely, you think, there are more fun forms of torture...)
Julia Roberts plays the hooker with a heart of gold. She represents women. (see...torture...) The brilliant director has her act out the following stereotypes:
Fragile
Goofy
Unfocused
Cute
Girly
Innocent
Sexy
Sexless
Incapable to the point of being unable to dress herself properly without help from a man
Doe eyed
Now Richard Gere is the man. Here's his character:
Strong
Rich
Powerful
Smart
Kind, knowing the world
Rich
Sweet
Amused by the childlike quality of Julia Roberts
Rich
Manly, because.. he has money
OK, so besides hating this movie, I have a separate point.
If there is an old stereotype of men, it's that the manly man is the provider, a wage earner, a big bucks buck. The problem here is that any man with half a brain feels (or, I think, should feel) the same way about this stereotype that women feel about the Julia Roberts stereotype of women- ouch, that turns us into things, things to be acquired, not actual human beings.
Sooo... this leads me to the question of what kind of man would put his income on Match.com? My guess is men who have consciously or unconsciously accepted the social pressure to fit the most traditional role. Accepting the role, there's pride when the obligations of the role are amply fulfilled. A job well done. Big bucks that is. Hmm. Christian/Catholic. Sales and Marketing. Blue Shirts. Drawing inside the lines. Practical education. (Looking for green blue eyes...)
I have a sort of emotional reaction to this, because I'm not comfortable with the traditional roles- it seems to me what whenever they're accepted, they're likely to become cruel yardsticks of measure. Ultimately, these yardsticks for gender roles slay the full expression of actual human beings.
Jeez, what a cranky guy, I know.
Perhaps a little kindness, a little love. Because no one is to blame here. We all grow up with roles, and my experience is they're pretty hard to drop. Entrenched in our thinking, down to our subconscious. And I don't judge the men, even as I cringe at the roles. There may be some really kind and loving men playing these roles, hoping for movie ending. I hope they find it.
But this I ask... when we hit 40, and fulfilling a role hasn't brought the love we want, just the trappings, and we go out and buy a Porsche because our midlife crisis is deep, what then? Because then it's a challenge, because our promised reward for playing the role hasn't materialized. Now where are we? Letting go of assumed standards, how can we know our own value? What now do we offer to another, to earn their love?
And by the way...
Where do I get that Porsche anyway?
Legofham
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