Been ages
Hi All,
I haven't written in a long time. I wanted to get back into trying to journal about life as a way to learn to like me again.
I recently went through a long spell of vertigo that left me limited. Only after 2 months of PT for vestibular retraining do I feel some what normal again. Naturally this ramped up my depression/anxiety. I am curious to see if my mental health is moving towards bipolar. I mean that wouldn't be a huge shocker.
I have been doing EMDR therapy and it has been helping. The major issues boil down to not loving myself and not wanting to be real. This leads me to want to hide away and sometimes ramps up depression so bad that I can't show up. I am really trying hard to show up to work.
On the bright side I am showing up for my family well. I did great on the Disneyland trip to support Sylvia and make sure that Miranda had a good time. I am also giving Sylvia the break she needs to be able to do a conference for work.
I just have to get better at letting go of my conception of what I should be, and enjoy me.
Love is wise, hate is foolish