More thoughts on Mom
I can't tell you what good friends my mom and I were. I remember when we were first without my dad. We would have our "special night" every friday. It consisted of watching Jim Twoey (excuse the spelling) playing Dracula and introducing the friday night scary movie. We would go and buy, at great expense to us at that time, well actually always, a bag of potato chips, make home made onion dip (our secret recipe), a six pack of coke (in glass bottles in those days), a can of shrimp and some smoked oysters. We would sit until the wee hours of the morning (which was about 1am, a joke to me now, since I don't sleep with the fibro) and watch the scary movie and eat our goodies. Mom would sit and run her fingers through our hair and tickle my back, my sister hated that, so I was always the lucky one that got that. It was a special time. As I got older and we got poorer, my mom would still try to do that, but friday she was so tired and it was harder for her, she had so much money problems because of my dad, he had run out of the state and left her to pay for everything, including his divorce lawyer and all court costs and his bills. It was so hard for us, many times we would not have anything to eat at all, and other times she would have a can of collard greens and I would have a can of beef soup (it was cheap then). But she still would try to do the friday night thing with me, but even if we couldn't get the goodies, we would sit together and spend the time, quality time, just her and me. It was good times even though they were so hard.
I remember the day she came to me, it was in like June and told me that we would not be able to have a Christmas that year because there just would not be any money. So I, knowing it would cost us sometimes three days with nothing to eat, started getting up in the middle of the night, she snored really loud so I knew she didn't hear me, and raid her purse. I took one half of all the change in her purse. It made it hard but the reward, the look on her face was going to be worth it, I was thirteen at the time. We went through the year, it was so hard. I knew she needed the money so bad and would hear her cry over the money problems (and my grandparents wouldn't help, mom wouldn't have asked often anyway, that pride thing) but I knew I had to stick to my guns. Well, Thanksgiving came and we had an awesome dinner for the first time in a long time, it was wonderful and grandma even sent us home with some leftovers so we were ecstatic, we would eat for two or three days. Then, on the 5th of December, the horrible news came, we would have no Christmas, no tree, no gifts, nothing, there just wasn't any money. My mom cried so hard as she told me, I told her "No mom, it is ok, we are going to have a Christmas". She just cried harder. I told her again and said "mom I mean it, look". I went to the cookie jar, the one that just sat there with nothing in it, no money, and brought it to the table. It was heavy, and mom couldn't understand why it was so hard for me to carry. I opened it up and poured the contents on the table. Her eyes popped open, her mouth dropped open, and she asked where it came from. I told her what I had been doing and that I was sorry for deceiving her, but I wanted to give her the surprise and had been waiting all that time. She cried and walked over and hugged me so hard that I thought that she would take my breath completely away. Then we sat down and counted it, $125.00, that is what was there. Now in those days, that was a lot of money. We would have Christmas. She was so happy, I don't think she had been that happy ever in my life, well, except when her children were born and lived. But she was ecstatic, I was so blessed that I had blessed her so much. I didn't need anything else for Christmas, it was enough to see her face. We had the best Christmas we had ever had. It was wonderful. Gifts for everyone, a beautiful tree, and the two of us as happy as we could ever be. It was so worth it all. She made a pact with me that we would do it every year from then on and it would start the 1st of January. From then on we had great Christmas's. It was such a blessing. But nothing can match the look on her face when I poured out that cookie jar. And you know, no matter how tough things got, we never touched what was in the cookie jar, that was the agreement. I just did it to see her face light up, after that she did it for me. There was so much pain in our home when I was little, mostly because of dad, but there were moments like the ones that I describe in here that made it all worth it. They were the best of times. The ones that mattered. The ones that last an eternity that I can remember about her. We were best friends and that is better than just being mom and daughter, which we had that too. It truly was the best of times, times not ever forgotten.
I will probably do entries like this from time to time, I hope no one minds. It does me good to get to remember such good things, things I never had a chance with with Isaac. But I have them with her, so I will write about her and how wonderful she was and sometimes about the not so wonderful things. But for today this is enough. I just wanted to share with all of you. Love to all, I hope you enjoy these. Loveys.
I remember the day she came to me, it was in like June and told me that we would not be able to have a Christmas that year because there just would not be any money. So I, knowing it would cost us sometimes three days with nothing to eat, started getting up in the middle of the night, she snored really loud so I knew she didn't hear me, and raid her purse. I took one half of all the change in her purse. It made it hard but the reward, the look on her face was going to be worth it, I was thirteen at the time. We went through the year, it was so hard. I knew she needed the money so bad and would hear her cry over the money problems (and my grandparents wouldn't help, mom wouldn't have asked often anyway, that pride thing) but I knew I had to stick to my guns. Well, Thanksgiving came and we had an awesome dinner for the first time in a long time, it was wonderful and grandma even sent us home with some leftovers so we were ecstatic, we would eat for two or three days. Then, on the 5th of December, the horrible news came, we would have no Christmas, no tree, no gifts, nothing, there just wasn't any money. My mom cried so hard as she told me, I told her "No mom, it is ok, we are going to have a Christmas". She just cried harder. I told her again and said "mom I mean it, look". I went to the cookie jar, the one that just sat there with nothing in it, no money, and brought it to the table. It was heavy, and mom couldn't understand why it was so hard for me to carry. I opened it up and poured the contents on the table. Her eyes popped open, her mouth dropped open, and she asked where it came from. I told her what I had been doing and that I was sorry for deceiving her, but I wanted to give her the surprise and had been waiting all that time. She cried and walked over and hugged me so hard that I thought that she would take my breath completely away. Then we sat down and counted it, $125.00, that is what was there. Now in those days, that was a lot of money. We would have Christmas. She was so happy, I don't think she had been that happy ever in my life, well, except when her children were born and lived. But she was ecstatic, I was so blessed that I had blessed her so much. I didn't need anything else for Christmas, it was enough to see her face. We had the best Christmas we had ever had. It was wonderful. Gifts for everyone, a beautiful tree, and the two of us as happy as we could ever be. It was so worth it all. She made a pact with me that we would do it every year from then on and it would start the 1st of January. From then on we had great Christmas's. It was such a blessing. But nothing can match the look on her face when I poured out that cookie jar. And you know, no matter how tough things got, we never touched what was in the cookie jar, that was the agreement. I just did it to see her face light up, after that she did it for me. There was so much pain in our home when I was little, mostly because of dad, but there were moments like the ones that I describe in here that made it all worth it. They were the best of times. The ones that mattered. The ones that last an eternity that I can remember about her. We were best friends and that is better than just being mom and daughter, which we had that too. It truly was the best of times, times not ever forgotten.
I will probably do entries like this from time to time, I hope no one minds. It does me good to get to remember such good things, things I never had a chance with with Isaac. But I have them with her, so I will write about her and how wonderful she was and sometimes about the not so wonderful things. But for today this is enough. I just wanted to share with all of you. Love to all, I hope you enjoy these. Loveys.