(no subject)
i shake the man's hand and say something that makes him laugh and while i talk to the girl who is doing everything she can to get me this job, i fix my eyes on the criterion collection dvds on the shelves every time she looks away and try to find strength in them, thinking all the while that, since they are placed cover-forward with nothing behind them and not stacked sideways like "beauty shop" and "liar liar" are, i might be able to survive here. the application is longer than i expected and i panic once when i am asked to name three blues artists and three jazz artists and draw a blank, again when i come to a small series of questions about video games (what are your favorite games? what is your preferred system?) and finally when i finish the last page and realize that i am not being asked for personal references. there is someone else applying on the other side of the counter. a young, broad, handsome white man with a beard and dreadlocks and wearing an awful jacket that is bright blue on the outside and lined with a silky green zebra print who smiles and kisses ass better than me. the boss tells the employee to tell me to come back tomorrow at 3 for an interview and i ask her if i can't just wait here until he isn't terribly busy? and when she tells me no i can't think of anything to wear tomorrow --that makes me look human! that i'm not already wearing!-- and my stomach starts to ache on the walk back to the car.
later i answer every question my mother asks politely and in detail and maybe she isn't paying very much attention or maybe she is pretending, but she says i sound hopeful.
later i answer every question my mother asks politely and in detail and maybe she isn't paying very much attention or maybe she is pretending, but she says i sound hopeful.