something might be found
Dear Jan,
I don't really know how to tell you this, our horoscope doesn't match.
I think I realized it when I saw the shrunken head outside of Chicago and I saw you drive out Manchester United's goalkeeper.
I'm sure you're man enough to understand how boring you are.
I'm returning the pictures from LA to you, but I'll keep your suicide note as a memory.
You should also that I never will forget your embarrassing rash.
Go and drown yourself,
Nikki
THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT:
Dear (the person who last texted/sms-ed you).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___.
I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___.
I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.
I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory.
You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.
___12___,
-Your name-
1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister
2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes
3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
Annat: With George Bush and his wife
4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit at
Other - Drive out
5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk
6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs: Man
O.C.: Emotional
One Tree Hill: Open
Heroes: Frostbitten
Lost: High
House: Scarred
Simpsons: Cowardly
The news: Mongolic
American Idol: Masochistic
Family Guy: Senile
Top Model: Middle-class
Annat: Ashamed
7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks
8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service
9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college
10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked
11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics
12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family
I'm sorry Jan!!! I had erased my inbox and the latest locked message was from you :D
Hooray for tan lines!
(I don't think I've ever posted such a huge picture of my face before haha)
Came from Batangas with my carpoolmates (who are more than my carpoolmates, really, they're good friends of mine. It's just easier to identify them as carpoolmates haha) and I am burnt. The picture's not doing a good job of showing it because of the flash, but all the pictures I take of me without flash are ugly, and it's just too hard to camwhore with an SLR right now because I'm tired and whatnot.
It was exactly what was needed to truly make it feel like summer (not to mention to truly make it feel like sunburn).
We toasted under the sun then ran to the cold South China Sea to cool down when the sand started to burn the soles of our feet.
It was great, just what the doctor ordered.
And just in time too, life was becoming a tad lonely around here. I hate to say it, but I'm missing the North. Well, maybe more of the people who are in the North. Jan
caustic_lye texted me something last night that made me tear up, sorta. I miss him and Ysab
ysandaangsalita and Enzo and Chi
chichan_ and Tata
shootreloadroar whom I never ever ever see anymore but right now it's fine because she really can't have a life right now haha. And I also really miss Aussy
deathtosellouts because I think this is the longest that I haven't seen her in a while. (Dude we'd be a dysfunctional needy couple hahaha) (wow only Enzo and Bea don't have LJs haha)
But I can always count on the carpool for fun times. Thank you to Pinpin
pinutbuttah for stuffing us with so much food, we could hardly move. Diet? What diet?! Oh... THAT diet. Hahaha.
BF carpool, yo. =)
(sunburnt version of. hahaha)
the rest are here.
A couple things may now be crossed off my list!
Yes, my arms are finally just one color, my t-shirt tan is gone! I know it'll probably come back once school starts, but for now, I am even-colored. Hahaha. I wish I could say the same for my feet, tho. =|
And the second thing would be to go out of town with my carpool loves. Yaaay.
I hope that tomorrow, I don't turn precisely the color of shit. Which is what happens, usually. I'm gloriously bronze for a day, then afterwards, I look like I came out of a sphincter. Hahaha.
p.s.
I got this in my email today, which is totally surreal:
The Marilou Diaz-Abaya Film Institute and Arts Center
I know I've been fretting for a while what to do with my life, law school or film school.
could this be a sign? :O