A Seven-Year Flashback Has A Way Of Making You Think
Sometime in the middle of 2009, I decided that I wanted to pursue becoming a photographer as a career. It was a big choice for me, seeing as I had been planning on becoming a lawyer since I was 12 or 13. Ever since then, everything that I've been doing, online and in real life, has been trying to get me to that place where I want to be. This, unfortunately, has greatly affected the way that I blog, which in this day and age has been greatly reduced thanks to micro-blogging and tumblogging, and all of that shiznit. But I digress. In my efforts at becoming better at showing meaning through my images, I have let my love of writing waste away into nothingness. Sure you may say it's just a blog, but to me it has been a large part of my growth as a person. Which is why I am posting this here, in LJ, where I discovered that I could actually spew out a few words here and there that could affect people in a good way.
Today I decided to start using that Mail application just so I could organize my life a little bit better. It, of course, started to import the 35,000++ email messages that I have accumulated on my gmail account in the past 7 years that I've been using it. This is how I stumbled upon my really old LJ entries all the way back to 2004. It's amazing, how different I sound, and it's almost saddening in a way. There was a tone of foolish optimism to the 16-year old me. Sure I would be emo here and there, but for the most part, I was actually a pretty level-headed teenager. It was a nice walk down memory lane. It made me realize that I used to love writing so much, and that I had actually built a family in LJ that I forgot about.
It's been a rough past couple of months, what with leaving my job and being unemployed, the feeling of being an actual bum (albeit it only last for a month or two) and how crummy it feels that I couldn't pay for my apartment. But then I was also able to experience how great it feels to be asked to take a job that you don't think you can do, but then being told by someone you love and respect that they have that much faith in you and your capabilities. Also, I've been sick for a month and have been too busy to go to the doctor, but I really need to get on with that because I've sick of having a cough and cold, and my hearing is getting impaired and it's actually starting to really scare me.
I've been at my new job for more than a month now, and it's surprised me how fast the time has gone by, and how much I know I can still do. I still have my goals, and one of them is to leave by 2012/2013. I'm gonna get there, and I need to remember that patience, something that has never been my virtue, is something that will get me there faster than I can imagine.
Today I decided to start using that Mail application just so I could organize my life a little bit better. It, of course, started to import the 35,000++ email messages that I have accumulated on my gmail account in the past 7 years that I've been using it. This is how I stumbled upon my really old LJ entries all the way back to 2004. It's amazing, how different I sound, and it's almost saddening in a way. There was a tone of foolish optimism to the 16-year old me. Sure I would be emo here and there, but for the most part, I was actually a pretty level-headed teenager. It was a nice walk down memory lane. It made me realize that I used to love writing so much, and that I had actually built a family in LJ that I forgot about.
It's been a rough past couple of months, what with leaving my job and being unemployed, the feeling of being an actual bum (albeit it only last for a month or two) and how crummy it feels that I couldn't pay for my apartment. But then I was also able to experience how great it feels to be asked to take a job that you don't think you can do, but then being told by someone you love and respect that they have that much faith in you and your capabilities. Also, I've been sick for a month and have been too busy to go to the doctor, but I really need to get on with that because I've sick of having a cough and cold, and my hearing is getting impaired and it's actually starting to really scare me.
I've been at my new job for more than a month now, and it's surprised me how fast the time has gone by, and how much I know I can still do. I still have my goals, and one of them is to leave by 2012/2013. I'm gonna get there, and I need to remember that patience, something that has never been my virtue, is something that will get me there faster than I can imagine.