Ooo blah-dee
And so another day closeth in this circus I call or consider to be my life. I'm holding up pretty good without my husband around. Someone asked me recently how I liked having my independency i said "i hate it" - as much as I'd like to think I could make it on my own in the real world, alone, I highly doubt I could. I've paid the bills, fed the animals, played with my daughter, and kept the house clean. But at night, I still feel his presence not here but somewhere else far far away. I didn't talk to him today and that made me sad. Just being able to hear his voice is a consolation because for a good portion of our relationship that was how we communicated - either by phone or email. So, because I didn't hear it today er yesterday I'm a little depressed. Ok, not a little alot. I'm sure i'll get tired of hearing myself b*tch and moan about him being gone but *note to self* its better to express yourself than repress. Writing for me is my greatest way of opening up my heart and soul and laying it all out on the line.
My husband told me before he left that I had his family here but...they can only provide so much. His presence in this house is such a security blanket to me. Maybe its just the way he seems to present himself or comes across to people but he's everything I wish and could hope to be as a person, considering the lifestyle he has come from.
I'm so pathetic though, I'll walk into the kitchen and look at the phone and telepathically try to send him a message to call and make the phone ring. Never happens. Someone said he would be considered a hero for going down to help out after the hurricane. I kinda got tearyeyed when I replied back to them because to me he's always been a hero. He's been my hero and my lifesaver ever since he took me when nobody else would and had faith in me to succeed in whatever I put my mind to.
To my wonderful husband, whereever you may be sleeping at tonight. I love you more than words can possibly describe. I consider myself to be one of the luckiest women in the world to have such a caring and selfless husband like you by my side for the rest of my life. You are everything to me and our daughter. I pray daily for your health and a safe return trip home. And keep thinking of how I can make your first few days back home as comfortable as possible. You by far will deserve every minute of it. Thank you for allowing me the honor and priviledge of being your wife and the mother of your children. I hope that I am all you could ever want in a person, because you're the man of my dreams.
My husband told me before he left that I had his family here but...they can only provide so much. His presence in this house is such a security blanket to me. Maybe its just the way he seems to present himself or comes across to people but he's everything I wish and could hope to be as a person, considering the lifestyle he has come from.
I'm so pathetic though, I'll walk into the kitchen and look at the phone and telepathically try to send him a message to call and make the phone ring. Never happens. Someone said he would be considered a hero for going down to help out after the hurricane. I kinda got tearyeyed when I replied back to them because to me he's always been a hero. He's been my hero and my lifesaver ever since he took me when nobody else would and had faith in me to succeed in whatever I put my mind to.
To my wonderful husband, whereever you may be sleeping at tonight. I love you more than words can possibly describe. I consider myself to be one of the luckiest women in the world to have such a caring and selfless husband like you by my side for the rest of my life. You are everything to me and our daughter. I pray daily for your health and a safe return trip home. And keep thinking of how I can make your first few days back home as comfortable as possible. You by far will deserve every minute of it. Thank you for allowing me the honor and priviledge of being your wife and the mother of your children. I hope that I am all you could ever want in a person, because you're the man of my dreams.