Thoughts I have had today

[mscontrarymary]

Oh god I've been burgled.
Why did the burglar make what appears to be a bacon sandwich?
You BRAT.
No wonder the cat can barely move, his stomach is touching the ground from the amount of bacon in it.

Can you please put the dishes in the sink? Chipping burnt bacon off a frying pan was not the way I wanted to spend my evening.

Comments

[cons_detective]

I left a note!

I also used the key, broke nothing, took nothing, and fed your cat!

[cons_detective]

Which I also didn't take, by the way. Since he's clearly still there.

[mscontrarymary]

I just found your note, I brought more on the way home.

Don't get cross just because I came home from work, found my place in a state and assumed I'd been robbed.

I mean it about the washing up.

[cons_detective]

Well that was a stupid assumption. The only room in the house to be upset was the kitchen. Who robs a kitchen?

[mscontrarymary]

I don't know. Very hungry burglars? What would you think?

[cons_detective]

I'd check to see if Stephan got out of prison. You're lucky it wasn't him, actually. He'd have completely cleaned out your fridge.

[mscontrarymary]

He's lucky too. If he'd been in my house I would have called the police.

[cons_detective]

Well, lucky for all involved, he's still in prison, last I heard.

[mscontrarymary]

Well good, I don't need more random Food Ghosts showing up to evaluate my kitchen.

[cons_detective]

What do you mean, 'food ghost'? Did I leave a sticky trail of ectoplasm in my wake?

[mscontrarymary]

...No, just bacon grease. Which is in some ways, a relief.

[cons_detective]

Well, there you go. Next time, chose your metaphors with more care.

[mscontrarymary]

I never said anything about sticky trails of anything!

[cons_detective]

No, but you made an idiotic comparison.

[mscontrarymary]

I thought it was better than Food Fairy, although the image of you with little wings and a wand with a star on the end is a pretty good one.

[cons_detective]

I hate you.