Alone, or simply... by myself?
(Hey, I disappeared again!)
I've recently been secretly following my relative's FB friend (also real life friend) online, because... well, she's really funny most of the time, even though she's a complete trainwreck if you ask me. Anyway. This weekend she's been spending lots of time at her mom's place, watching her pets and the house while she's away. And yes, she's been going STARK RAVING MAD, seriously.
It's difficult for me to grasp. I mean, I spend SO MUCH TIME all by myself without anything special to do apart from work and just everyday things. On an average week, I never go anywhere special or do anything out of the norm. I don't have a work place to go to; I just sit at home in front of my computer. That means I also don't have any actual colleagues. I only occasionally talk to them online when I'm trying to find some term for a translation assignment. I do go out, I mean, I HAVE TO go out -- I own a dog, for one. And I really enjoy taking long walks outdoors on most days. I shop for groceries; again, it's a must. I go to the gym five days a week, which I guess makes it obvious that my only friends in my hometown these days are gym instructors. (Whom I never see anywhere else.) Criss is here almost every night for several hours, obviously, and spends most of the weekend with me. And I do see my parents at least once a week, which I'm betting most (almost) 30-year-olds wouldn't do or don't get a chance to do. That's something.
Pets truly are great company, but... am I horribly alone in your opinion? Would a situation like mine intimidate you? Does it seem impossible to imagine? The relative I mentioned above sees her friends several times a week and goes out partying with them or her relatives usually at least once a week AND complains about having "no social life", whereas I only see my friends once a YEAR if I'm lucky. I'll probably never know what it's like to have a solid group of friends à la Sex & the City. Don't get me wrong -- I love my friends more than anything. They're caring, funny, intelligent and always there for me, but not in a concrete way. Most of them are people I've only ever communicated with online. And thus, even though I've known some of them for almost 14 years now, you can't really compare them to friends that you actually get to see and spend time with. So... am I a total loser? Hopelessly alienated? I don't feel that way.
I'm just musing, really. Not going anywhere special with this. (Ha! I never do.)
Doing pretty good, actually. Lots of work all summer, which has been great since I can't take a vacation because of our finances or lack thereof. (I REALLY NEED ONE. LET ME ROAM.) Lots of great TV. Nice weather most of the time (a bit too hot right now), Lady Gaga's show to look forward to... My dad isn't doing that good, though. Are you surprised? Heh. I guess I should say that he's doing even worse than usual. He has a majorly enlarged artery that they must operate on, but he's so weak physically that he may not survive anesthesia. Yup. Crappy situation all around. On some days, I kind of wish that he wouldn't make it. That would save him and my mom from more suffering on possibly many more years to come. But I know it would also be beyond terrible to lose him, even after all this time of will-he-won't-he. BUT -- I can't really complain about anything else. Ok, so there's still the no-sex-never-ever thing, but I'm beginning to believe that Criss won't be running away from me because of it any time soon.
I may be a weirdo hermit, but isn't happiness what counts? Eh?
xxPo
I've recently been secretly following my relative's FB friend (also real life friend) online, because... well, she's really funny most of the time, even though she's a complete trainwreck if you ask me. Anyway. This weekend she's been spending lots of time at her mom's place, watching her pets and the house while she's away. And yes, she's been going STARK RAVING MAD, seriously.
It's difficult for me to grasp. I mean, I spend SO MUCH TIME all by myself without anything special to do apart from work and just everyday things. On an average week, I never go anywhere special or do anything out of the norm. I don't have a work place to go to; I just sit at home in front of my computer. That means I also don't have any actual colleagues. I only occasionally talk to them online when I'm trying to find some term for a translation assignment. I do go out, I mean, I HAVE TO go out -- I own a dog, for one. And I really enjoy taking long walks outdoors on most days. I shop for groceries; again, it's a must. I go to the gym five days a week, which I guess makes it obvious that my only friends in my hometown these days are gym instructors. (Whom I never see anywhere else.) Criss is here almost every night for several hours, obviously, and spends most of the weekend with me. And I do see my parents at least once a week, which I'm betting most (almost) 30-year-olds wouldn't do or don't get a chance to do. That's something.
Pets truly are great company, but... am I horribly alone in your opinion? Would a situation like mine intimidate you? Does it seem impossible to imagine? The relative I mentioned above sees her friends several times a week and goes out partying with them or her relatives usually at least once a week AND complains about having "no social life", whereas I only see my friends once a YEAR if I'm lucky. I'll probably never know what it's like to have a solid group of friends à la Sex & the City. Don't get me wrong -- I love my friends more than anything. They're caring, funny, intelligent and always there for me, but not in a concrete way. Most of them are people I've only ever communicated with online. And thus, even though I've known some of them for almost 14 years now, you can't really compare them to friends that you actually get to see and spend time with. So... am I a total loser? Hopelessly alienated? I don't feel that way.
I'm just musing, really. Not going anywhere special with this. (Ha! I never do.)
Doing pretty good, actually. Lots of work all summer, which has been great since I can't take a vacation because of our finances or lack thereof. (I REALLY NEED ONE. LET ME ROAM.) Lots of great TV. Nice weather most of the time (a bit too hot right now), Lady Gaga's show to look forward to... My dad isn't doing that good, though. Are you surprised? Heh. I guess I should say that he's doing even worse than usual. He has a majorly enlarged artery that they must operate on, but he's so weak physically that he may not survive anesthesia. Yup. Crappy situation all around. On some days, I kind of wish that he wouldn't make it. That would save him and my mom from more suffering on possibly many more years to come. But I know it would also be beyond terrible to lose him, even after all this time of will-he-won't-he. BUT -- I can't really complain about anything else. Ok, so there's still the no-sex-never-ever thing, but I'm beginning to believe that Criss won't be running away from me because of it any time soon.
I may be a weirdo hermit, but isn't happiness what counts? Eh?
xxPo