How to replace the irreplaceable

[ms_jinxme]

My absence has been a lengthy one this time - it’s been a strange phase since coming back from my trip, with a lot of deep thoughts not yet ready to be put into words. Whilst trying to settle these new directions forming in me, December was also pretty much overwhelming me with a lot of unexpected, warm invites! All cherished & impossible to say

Comments

[sushiho]

Best of luck with your search for the cat(s) that are right for your and you right for them. The pair that want to stay together may be a good thing if they're very used to each other's company. Sounds like you are bringing many good things into your life in the months ahead :-)

[ms_jinxme]

Heh, you've read me well: it is very much part of a big picture. Last two months have been a constant overview, with a lot of difficult thoughts & feelings - some still being processed. Although a lot in my past has been good, they have come with many destructive side elements - & I had to look back & confront myself whether those would ever change. I think, so far, the answer is no. And in consequence of that, the new answer is to cut away what can never, long term, be good for me (or the life I wish to have). It's really about where I want to be the rest of my life. And two years from now I want to be sure I've set everything in place to take the step there. :-)

[sushiho]

I'm fully in support of people knowing that *they* are the people that can change things in their lives - so many people don't seem to grasp that things they don't like about or in their lives, can be changed if only they choose to do so (or perhaps, a lot of people just don't accept that it really is up to them to choose). But sounds like you have everything in your power to make what you want happen, and are also fortunate enough to know what you want, so good wishes to you on that front!

Also, I am curious - do you have a catflap on the boat? I guess you must do, so the cats can come and go through the day when you're at work? Sorry Mr Drippy is too far away for you - but what about the pair that want to be homed together? I am sure the right cats will be found at some point, sometimes you can't rush these things but just keep trying & looking. Looking forward to pictures when you do find them!

[ms_jinxme]

I do have a cat flap - but it's broken, so I will have to order a new one. Mr Drippy found a home very quickly, so he's definitely out of my reach now! But I've been viewing some cats since & will give update soon

[sushiho]

I think there's a place for being easygoing with your associations with people, in that there's no harm being friendly/conversational when out and about socialising - certainly 'getting along' unless you have MAJOR reason to have beef with people, is much more preferable than worrying and being anxious or confrontational, when at the end of the day it often really doesn't matter as long as you don't let it - you know, I'm happy to be neutral and non-confrontational to people I don't like, but deep down I know I don't have to give them another minute's thought or let them have any consequence on my night or how I feel, as long as I *choose* not to let it bother me

[ms_jinxme]

Haha, to put that in writing probably sounded a bit hardline. The above only related to a couple of people (+ one mentally ill person in a more distant past); all of which persons that I’ve either a/ felt sorry for & therefore let in or b/ just simply allowed closer to me than I should have. They’ve all, once gaining access, acted in ways in my life that has harmed my life. People who I don’t like I simply ‘walk’ around in the scene, but generally they are very few as I get along with the majority. The few I don’t there seems to be a mutual non-chemistry so we simply steer clear of one another.

It is true though for me that I find it very hard to interact with people once I’ve found out they’ve slagged me off to others or in any way made up lies about me. I suspect most other people simply ‘forget’ as a way of moving on, whereas I unfortunately have a very good memory so I don’t find it quite as easy. What I think often also shows in my face either I plan it to or not