Complications
As if writing my family history, editing it, printing it and binding it all within seven weeks is not daunting enough, complications have set in.
I am now past what I call the ancient history - tales of grand-parents, great-grand parents and even further back. I am even past tales of my parents. That wasn't as rocky as I thought it might be because I have done a lot of work in understanding their actions and motivations in the last year.
No, the complication is writing about me - about my life and why I did what I did!
It's also made me look at things from my past that have not seen the light of day since they first happened.
There have been days when I simply did not want to face it, to look into myself and write about it.
It shows me there are still some areas of my life that I need to work on. Old emotions need releasing. Old hurts need soothing.
Of course, my mind still tries to avoid it. Rather like a child thinking a monster will go away if I close my eyes and can't see it I tell myself that I just have to write about it and will deal with the 'issues' later. I'm far too busy now. I have to get this done. I can't stop and write about it all in my private diary now - I have to save my writing for the story. Huff..Puff and Huff some more as I bluster my way into avoiding it.
Sooooo... I know I have to deal with it. I know I will feel better and be better if I do. But just now, late at night when I am tired, the prospect is about as appealing as visiting the dentist to have a troublesome tooth removed. I KNOW it will be better later, but I really don't want to have the pain first.
I wonder if one can get general anaesthetics for the emotions?
Meanwhile, surprisingly, the telling of the tale seems to be going well. I wrote just under 8000 words today, despite feeling not the brightest and having a visitor for the evening. Grand tally now is just over 75,000 words - and the month isn't even half done yet!
My word count is something I AM happy with. I did 50000 words in ten days in my first Nano. The second year I struggled to make 50000 by the end of the month. Every 100 words was like pulling teeth. Last year I failed wretchedly, distracted by tygrr's immigration application which had to be done in the same month. This year has shown me that the first year was not a fluke, that with preparation and the right circumstances I can get the words done. I don't feel like such a fake, which is always a good thing!
Now though, it's nearly 4am and bed calls!
Red.
wordcount widgets
I am now past what I call the ancient history - tales of grand-parents, great-grand parents and even further back. I am even past tales of my parents. That wasn't as rocky as I thought it might be because I have done a lot of work in understanding their actions and motivations in the last year.
No, the complication is writing about me - about my life and why I did what I did!
It's also made me look at things from my past that have not seen the light of day since they first happened.
There have been days when I simply did not want to face it, to look into myself and write about it.
It shows me there are still some areas of my life that I need to work on. Old emotions need releasing. Old hurts need soothing.
Of course, my mind still tries to avoid it. Rather like a child thinking a monster will go away if I close my eyes and can't see it I tell myself that I just have to write about it and will deal with the 'issues' later. I'm far too busy now. I have to get this done. I can't stop and write about it all in my private diary now - I have to save my writing for the story. Huff..Puff and Huff some more as I bluster my way into avoiding it.
Sooooo... I know I have to deal with it. I know I will feel better and be better if I do. But just now, late at night when I am tired, the prospect is about as appealing as visiting the dentist to have a troublesome tooth removed. I KNOW it will be better later, but I really don't want to have the pain first.
I wonder if one can get general anaesthetics for the emotions?
Meanwhile, surprisingly, the telling of the tale seems to be going well. I wrote just under 8000 words today, despite feeling not the brightest and having a visitor for the evening. Grand tally now is just over 75,000 words - and the month isn't even half done yet!
My word count is something I AM happy with. I did 50000 words in ten days in my first Nano. The second year I struggled to make 50000 by the end of the month. Every 100 words was like pulling teeth. Last year I failed wretchedly, distracted by tygrr's immigration application which had to be done in the same month. This year has shown me that the first year was not a fluke, that with preparation and the right circumstances I can get the words done. I don't feel like such a fake, which is always a good thing!
Now though, it's nearly 4am and bed calls!
Red.
wordcount widgets