On the second day of Channukah.....
Let me explain Channukah at the Reiner-Harris household:
1) 8 days does not imply 8 presents. In fact it usually averages out to about 1.7 presents per day. At some point I'll complain so it seems like I object to this tradition.
2)We go to the movies at cartoon-like rate, and eat Chinese food at least every other day if not more often. Stereotypes? Please. The next time I ask you to come to Asia Noodle with me for the 17th time in one week, or ask if you want to go see Rent or Harry Potter with me, again, remember. Its in my blood. My heritage. I cannot escape it, and Moses would not wish me to.
3) Every year we incorporate Christmas things into the holiday. We are, however, total Jews on both sides, no goyness in there anywhere.
So, these Christmas traditions are not in any way traditional. They are Reiner-Harris-ified, so that it is clear to all of us that we are stealing Christmas things we like, but making it all about us being funny. Examples:
-Harry Potter Stockings hung on the mantle with care. (Last year they were disney princess, and before that they were Aladdin)
-A 2 foot tall, pink, disney princess christmas tree. With Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Cinderella and Aurora ornaments on it. Topped off with a string of pearls.
4) We light the candles, say the prayers, and open approximately 7 presents in one sitting because we are impatient. We actually talked about doing it all in one day, but eventually decided that it would officially cross the line into Christmas-ville, leaving Jew-town to light its candles alone, without us to help make it feel better by glorifying Jewish stereotypes and compassionately stealing Christmas traditions. So we remain camped out here in Jew-town, saying our prayers and wearing our yarmulkes. The latkes are frying, the Chinese food is being delivered, and the dreidels are a-spinning.
But the Princess tree stays.
1) 8 days does not imply 8 presents. In fact it usually averages out to about 1.7 presents per day. At some point I'll complain so it seems like I object to this tradition.
2)We go to the movies at cartoon-like rate, and eat Chinese food at least every other day if not more often. Stereotypes? Please. The next time I ask you to come to Asia Noodle with me for the 17th time in one week, or ask if you want to go see Rent or Harry Potter with me, again, remember. Its in my blood. My heritage. I cannot escape it, and Moses would not wish me to.
3) Every year we incorporate Christmas things into the holiday. We are, however, total Jews on both sides, no goyness in there anywhere.
So, these Christmas traditions are not in any way traditional. They are Reiner-Harris-ified, so that it is clear to all of us that we are stealing Christmas things we like, but making it all about us being funny. Examples:
-Harry Potter Stockings hung on the mantle with care. (Last year they were disney princess, and before that they were Aladdin)
-A 2 foot tall, pink, disney princess christmas tree. With Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Cinderella and Aurora ornaments on it. Topped off with a string of pearls.
4) We light the candles, say the prayers, and open approximately 7 presents in one sitting because we are impatient. We actually talked about doing it all in one day, but eventually decided that it would officially cross the line into Christmas-ville, leaving Jew-town to light its candles alone, without us to help make it feel better by glorifying Jewish stereotypes and compassionately stealing Christmas traditions. So we remain camped out here in Jew-town, saying our prayers and wearing our yarmulkes. The latkes are frying, the Chinese food is being delivered, and the dreidels are a-spinning.
But the Princess tree stays.