He's passed on
At a little after 2am this morning, my brother Bill passed away. He was 53. It looks as if his heart just gave out. He's been through a rough couple of months, and I think his body just couldn't take anymore. I did get to see him yesterday. My Sister drove my Mother, Father, and I to go see Bill. I won't sugar coat it, he didn't look too great. It's one of those double edged swords. I'm very glad I got to see him, but I hate that my last memory of him is in that state. Other then his appearance though, he did have his sense of humor, and though he kept drifting in and out, he was cracking jokes right up until the end. My brother Steve went back to see him last night, and Bill said he was very glad to have gotten to see Mom, Dad, and I. It made him very happy.
Bill was my second oldest brother. Despite the 13 year age difference, Bill and I were probably closest. We had a common love of so many things. Whether it was really pretentious prog and art rock, books, or films, we were usually right on the money with each others tastes. We would spend hours on the phone every few days, talking about what we've been reading. Even up to the end. Our last conversation, yesterday in his hospital room, was about books. He joked about how he needs to hang in there, because the new Christopher Moore book comes out in less then a month. It will be a bittersweet read for me now. He also had an insane love for Chicago sports. He had a Cubs tattoo on his arm, and he got it long before the Cubs were "cool". He was a die hard. My brother Steve called a while ago, just to touch base. We were talking about Bills love for the Cubs, and Steve broke down, crying about how Bill didn't live long enough to see the Cubs win the World Series. I was able to break the sobbing by laughing "Guess what Steve? You probably won't either!" Bill was a sports fanatic. As a matter of fact, there is discussion about him being placed in a Gary Fencik Bears Jersey with a Cubs hat on for his wake Monday. I think he would have loved that.
I'm fine as long as I'm not talking to anyone. If I'm just sitting here, I'm keeping it together. If one of my brothers or sister all, I'm a wreck when trying to talk to them. I've really not had to deal with grieving family members in my life. I lost grandparents, aunts and uncles, lots of friends, but my parents are still alive, and all my siblings. It's so different for immediate family. I find myself sitting here not knowing what to do. Annie and the kids are up in Wisconsin (Bills family), and I have no way to get there to offer any help. My brother Steve and his kids have been incredible through all this. They've been going to the hospital every step of the way, and will be there to help Annie through the arrangements. They live close to each other, so I'm glad for that. I want to thank you all for you thoughts and prayers. They do mean a lot.
Bill was my second oldest brother. Despite the 13 year age difference, Bill and I were probably closest. We had a common love of so many things. Whether it was really pretentious prog and art rock, books, or films, we were usually right on the money with each others tastes. We would spend hours on the phone every few days, talking about what we've been reading. Even up to the end. Our last conversation, yesterday in his hospital room, was about books. He joked about how he needs to hang in there, because the new Christopher Moore book comes out in less then a month. It will be a bittersweet read for me now. He also had an insane love for Chicago sports. He had a Cubs tattoo on his arm, and he got it long before the Cubs were "cool". He was a die hard. My brother Steve called a while ago, just to touch base. We were talking about Bills love for the Cubs, and Steve broke down, crying about how Bill didn't live long enough to see the Cubs win the World Series. I was able to break the sobbing by laughing "Guess what Steve? You probably won't either!" Bill was a sports fanatic. As a matter of fact, there is discussion about him being placed in a Gary Fencik Bears Jersey with a Cubs hat on for his wake Monday. I think he would have loved that.
I'm fine as long as I'm not talking to anyone. If I'm just sitting here, I'm keeping it together. If one of my brothers or sister all, I'm a wreck when trying to talk to them. I've really not had to deal with grieving family members in my life. I lost grandparents, aunts and uncles, lots of friends, but my parents are still alive, and all my siblings. It's so different for immediate family. I find myself sitting here not knowing what to do. Annie and the kids are up in Wisconsin (Bills family), and I have no way to get there to offer any help. My brother Steve and his kids have been incredible through all this. They've been going to the hospital every step of the way, and will be there to help Annie through the arrangements. They live close to each other, so I'm glad for that. I want to thank you all for you thoughts and prayers. They do mean a lot.