My Soul In You
Genre(s): angst, romance, supernatural, smut (a little)
Length: Chapter 7/?
Rate: General
Pairing: Yunjae
Warning: character death, psychological
Summary:
Who didn’t know that Yunho’s affection for Jaejoong was eternal. Even the death wasn’t able to separate them. Their love was too strong to be true. Yunho wasn’t able to survive without Jaejoong, and so was Jaejoong. Yet, it was about the destiny, deciding the way the Yunjae love story would run, and how they were able to get through the most difficult challenge they had to face.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4a/ 4b Chapter 5 Chapter 6
***
Chapter 7
This house was really quite when I came back so I thought no one was here. I was about to make a dinner for Jaejoong and I but Junsu abruptly came into my mind. I almost forgot that Junsu was here. I might not make dinner for three people or Junsu would be suspicious. I just couldn’t tell Junsu that Jaejoong was here. Not now when my beauty was tired and needed his rest.
I unlocked the door where Junsu was sleeping as I noticed his dry tears on his cheeks. His eyes looked swollen and I knew he had just cried. Maybe Changmin said something miffing him. I wasn’t sure but the sobs in his slumber made it quite obvious. Poor Junsu.
“Hey, Junsu,” I drawled, shaking his body gently.
“What?” Junsu whined, stretching his arms and yawned.
“Let’s go dinner.”
He got up from his bed, striding to the bathroom to wash his face. “Come on,” He drawled nonchalantly, grabbing his jacket hung near the door and went out. I followed behind him. Somehow I felt there was something wrong with Junsu. Well, he looked so weird, as if there was something bothering his mind. I tried to push it away though.
We decided to eat in a restaurant, not so far from my house, in which Jaejoong and I used to eat together. Sadly, we had barely gone here since he was sick. I missed the romantic moments when we were spending our time here.
Actually, it had been a long time since my last visit. The restaurant hadn’t changed so much, just a few renovations here and there. Eventually I chose a table near the window where Jaejoong and I used to sit here. Suddenly, the pang came up to my heart. Smiling bitterly as the memories between us popped out in my mind. I vividly remembered the way he chose the menu and others.
“Yunho! It’s been a long time not to see you!”
Being conscious from the daydream, I noticed the girl having just chirped. She was Kimi, the waitress in this restaurant. She was also my friend and Jaejoong’s too. She handed the menus to me and Junsu.
“Kimi! How are you?” I asked.
“So far so good. Is he your boyfriend?” Shocked, I blinked to her several times to process what she meant. I followed her mischievous stare to Junsu as she smirked to me. Okay, I thought she misunderstood about Junsu.
“No, he’s Jaejoong’s brother. Plus, he’s taken,” I said, shrugging awkwardly, dabbling on the menu I wasn’t sure what to be ordered.
“Well, I’m sorry.”
“That’s fine, Kim,” I chuckled oddly.
Anyway, Kimi, Jaejoong, and I were best friends before. She’d been working here when we knew her. We often hung out together at the weekend. She did know how much I loved Jaejoong and never once did she feel aghast to be friend with me and Jaejoong. She instead supported our relationship. Even she promised to be the event organizer on my wedding party once she found out that Jaejoong and I were lovers.
However, just like the others, Kimi betrayed us. She also thought Jaejoong was dead. She didn’t help me when those people buried my Jaejoong beneath the earth. She didn’t believe me when I said Jaejoong hadn’t died yet. She stood up for Changmin, Junsu, and others instead. I was so disappointed that no one trusted me. Back then, what else could I do?
I felt like no hungry, my appetite having run away as I blankly stared at the menus. I glanced at Junsu, still scanning the menus. Sighing, I handed back the menu lists to Kimi and only ordered a lemon tea.
“You don’t eat, hyung?” Junsu asked me.
“I’m not hungry,” I answered as I shook my head.
“Okay.” Shrugging awkwardly, he handed back the menu lists and told his orders. Kimi nodded a little and walked off.
“Do you know that girl? You both look quite close.” Junsu asked once he was sure Kimi was far enough to hear us.
“Yeah, she’s my friend and Jaejoong’s too. She used to serve me and Jaejoong when we visited here.” I smiled feebly as the vague memory was coming up in my mind.
“She knows about you and Jaejoong hyung?”
“Yes.”
Next, silence filled up between us. Junsu lowered his head, eyebrows cocking together as though he was thinking about something deeply. I, blankly staring out the window, was daydreaming nothing. Too many things to be thought and I was just too lazy to start processing them. Outside, the sky looked so dark, no moon, no star, solely the lamps brightening the dim night.
“Hyung… I wonder what Jaejoong hyung is doing right now. Do you have any thought where he’s right now?” Junsu piped up, staring at the darkness outside.
“He ain’t far away from us. Maybe he’s sleeping,” I answered simply.
“Is he sleeping in heaven?”
“Who knows? Maybe he’s.” Junsu nodded, apparently plumbing what I’d said. “I’m probably the only one Jaejoong wants to talk to,” I persisted.
“What do you mean?” He looked at me suddenly and I noticed the curiosity in his eyes.
Thanked God I didn’t have to answer Junsu as a waitress came bringing our orders. I asked her where Kimi was as she said Kimi was stuffing something. I nodded and thanked.
I sipped my lemon tea, hardly avoiding Junsu’s gaze as I was afraid that he might have found out something he shouldn’t have known. I kept my eyes on my glass, stirring the liquid while inwardly glimpsed to him several times. He was busy eating his dinner, and I felt a little relieved.
“You haven’t answered my question, hyung,” he grumbled while chewing the foods.
I was remained silent, clueless what to say. “It’s just a dream. Let’s forget it,” I muttered, sipping my drink again.
“I know you’re lying, hyung. But you’re right. Let’s forget it.”
I sighed inwardly, cursing myself how I could have been so reckless. Junsu might know nothing but he seemed to have found out something. It rather made me worry then. He impossibly had found out about Jaejoong. Well, it’s Junsu! He used to conclude everything without any evidence by himself. Thus, I was supposed not to worry anything.
My head suddenly felt so heavy as if getting stormed by slide after slide of vague memories. I saw myself digging into Jaejoong’s tomb, hoisting up his dead body, carrying him to my house -and why it felt so painful and I couldn’t understand how this regret could loom me.
It’s okay… you did that because you love me, Yunho…
I jolted a little on my chair, shocked by the sudden voice coming up from nowhere. I confusedly scanned around the restaurant and found nothing weird. But I swore I’d just heard Jaejoong’s voice. But then, that was true; I did that because I loved Jaejoong. Nothing should have been regretted, right?
Plus, no matter what people thought, I had spent almost all the time with Jaejoong today. We walked around the town, went to the park, talked to each other, and it seemed so real! That was so brainless people thought he was dead. Of course Jaejoong was still alive.
“How does it feel?” I asked casually.
“Not bad. But I still prefer Jaejoong hyung’s cooks however,” he said, not quite clear as he was chewing.
“So do I. His cooks are always the best, right?” I smiled, watching the latter nodding whilst kept eating his foods.
“I still remember how Changmin used to claim Jaejoong hyung’s cooks as his lover.” I couldn’t help but chuckle. Junsu was right; my brother looked like a food monster, deeply falling in love with Jaejoong’s delicious foods.
We were silent again. I let him finish his foods as I stared again to the darkness outside. Random memories came out from my mind, in which Jaejoong and I used to play in oh-so lovey-dovey, so unforgettable.
The pathway looked so dim and calm. Once again, I somehow felt Jaejoong around me, having me so relieved and peace, as if I was indulging myself with the darkness spreading towards me. I felt like being hugged from behind; my neck, my back, and left check felt the rare warm, apparently the warm air ghosting around my neck and face. I felt the fragrant, the intoxicating vanilla scene blowing my very mind far away to the oblivion. The similar fragrant I always addicted, in which I barely got enough.
I miss the restaurant… I miss to have dinner with you here.
Suddenly my heart fluttered fervently, startling all the nerves as the bizarre voice sounded so real, and so close. And I felt like someone’s palm touching my chest -an invisible one but so real, trying to augment the velocity of my heartbeat.
Chill, Yunho~ why do you look so nervous?
A bitter chuckle unconsciously let out from my mouth. This invisible Jaejoong-like apparently was pissed off? Even when he was unseen, he was still childish and loveable because of his obduracy. This content and love immersed in me that I was fearful and peaceful at the same time. Where are you, Jae? Why don’t you show up?
“Are you thinking of Jaejoong?” asked Junsu suddenly, getting back my sanity.
“I am. I just can’t stop thinking of him,” I answered.
“I know. Anyway, I’m done. Would we go home?”
“Do you want to go home?”
“No, I want to visit somewhere.”
***
The darkness seemed to be beautiful tonight. I didn’t know whether it was set off by the perfect moment I had had or today was just as beautiful as fated. The weather was rather cold but it couldn’t take over me as I still felt warm like forever.
“Do you still reminisce this building, hyung?” Junsu drawled, his eyes gazing to the abandoned building toward us. The moss framed its walls, the metal gate rusting, bush growing wildly on the field. The building looked so gloomy as it had been abandoned for years ago.
“Of course I do. I can’t forget this building, can’t I?” I said slowly, scanning the building again and again as the superb memory started replaying in my head. Then again, this building still looked the same as the last time I visited here.
“What are you feeling?” he asked.
“Well, recollecting the past, it’s somehow….painful,” I muttered. “Was it closed?”
“Yes, after you took out Jaejoong hyung, no one came here. This prostitution had lost its star and went bankrupt.” I just chuckled. So, I had stolen their pride? My bad I was too selfish just to keep Jaejoong with me and refused to share. Jaejoong deserved to be with me though. He needed someone who could always protect and love him just like me.
“Thank you,” Junsu said, staring thankfully to me as I could only smile back to me.
The sky turned to be darker, the bulky clouds covering the stars, moonlight diffidently peeking amongst the clouds. Junsu and I was walking back to home as we realized how late it’d been and the temperature seemed to drop off.
***
My name is Kim Jaejoong. I’m nothing. I fly randomly, aimlessly. I have no flesh, my soul flies with me. I have had nothing. I was supposed to be able to go to Heaven a long time ago, but this angel called Rafael said I couldn’t make it to Heaven. There’s still something putting me off. Thus, he suggested me solve whatever this drawback is. So I wander.
My name is Kim Jaejoong; that I’ve just figured out it was supposed to be ‘Jung’ Jaejoong. I’m owned and here I’m to find my owner. Yunho, this crazy little world has separated us, trolling us. I see the grief portraying on your very eyes. I can see into your heart, screaming for my name endlessly. I get the hunch that you still keep me ‘alive’.
Come here my love… I will be coming back for you, to pick up your very soul to go with me. Just leave this nasty world and create our own Heaven together. You don’t need those human beings if they merely mock your everlasting love for me. I’m not the death angel but I’m your holy angel. Come to me… and we will be the perfect angel couple forever.
My name is Kim Jaejoong, a ghost of the Yunho’s beloved one, coming back from the emptiness to take what is supposed to be mine. I’m picking you up, Yunho….
***
A/N: I come back, and ALIVE! Yes, I'm so happy right now because BIGBANG HAS CONFIRMED TO HOLD A CONCERT IN INDONESIA!! Yes, I'm so damn happy and I don't know what to say anymore. I'm just happy.
Another good news, I feel like I get back the sense of this fic. Before I seemed aimlessly to write the plot but I've got where this story would be run. I'm brushing up my skill to write angst first before I continue to learn the others.
Anyway, I will have my semester exams so pray for me >.< I hope I'll get better scores so I may get a new laptop *cough* and please pray for my scholarship. I've sent some addition of requirements. So far, it's been going well. I still need support from you!
It's been midnight here. I have to go. See ya in the next chapter!! ^^~ *hugless*
Bonus:
Length: Chapter 7/?
Rate: General
Pairing: Yunjae
Warning: character death, psychological
Summary:
Who didn’t know that Yunho’s affection for Jaejoong was eternal. Even the death wasn’t able to separate them. Their love was too strong to be true. Yunho wasn’t able to survive without Jaejoong, and so was Jaejoong. Yet, it was about the destiny, deciding the way the Yunjae love story would run, and how they were able to get through the most difficult challenge they had to face.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4a/ 4b Chapter 5 Chapter 6
***
Chapter 7
This house was really quite when I came back so I thought no one was here. I was about to make a dinner for Jaejoong and I but Junsu abruptly came into my mind. I almost forgot that Junsu was here. I might not make dinner for three people or Junsu would be suspicious. I just couldn’t tell Junsu that Jaejoong was here. Not now when my beauty was tired and needed his rest.
I unlocked the door where Junsu was sleeping as I noticed his dry tears on his cheeks. His eyes looked swollen and I knew he had just cried. Maybe Changmin said something miffing him. I wasn’t sure but the sobs in his slumber made it quite obvious. Poor Junsu.
“Hey, Junsu,” I drawled, shaking his body gently.
“What?” Junsu whined, stretching his arms and yawned.
“Let’s go dinner.”
He got up from his bed, striding to the bathroom to wash his face. “Come on,” He drawled nonchalantly, grabbing his jacket hung near the door and went out. I followed behind him. Somehow I felt there was something wrong with Junsu. Well, he looked so weird, as if there was something bothering his mind. I tried to push it away though.
We decided to eat in a restaurant, not so far from my house, in which Jaejoong and I used to eat together. Sadly, we had barely gone here since he was sick. I missed the romantic moments when we were spending our time here.
Actually, it had been a long time since my last visit. The restaurant hadn’t changed so much, just a few renovations here and there. Eventually I chose a table near the window where Jaejoong and I used to sit here. Suddenly, the pang came up to my heart. Smiling bitterly as the memories between us popped out in my mind. I vividly remembered the way he chose the menu and others.
“Yunho! It’s been a long time not to see you!”
Being conscious from the daydream, I noticed the girl having just chirped. She was Kimi, the waitress in this restaurant. She was also my friend and Jaejoong’s too. She handed the menus to me and Junsu.
“Kimi! How are you?” I asked.
“So far so good. Is he your boyfriend?” Shocked, I blinked to her several times to process what she meant. I followed her mischievous stare to Junsu as she smirked to me. Okay, I thought she misunderstood about Junsu.
“No, he’s Jaejoong’s brother. Plus, he’s taken,” I said, shrugging awkwardly, dabbling on the menu I wasn’t sure what to be ordered.
“Well, I’m sorry.”
“That’s fine, Kim,” I chuckled oddly.
Anyway, Kimi, Jaejoong, and I were best friends before. She’d been working here when we knew her. We often hung out together at the weekend. She did know how much I loved Jaejoong and never once did she feel aghast to be friend with me and Jaejoong. She instead supported our relationship. Even she promised to be the event organizer on my wedding party once she found out that Jaejoong and I were lovers.
However, just like the others, Kimi betrayed us. She also thought Jaejoong was dead. She didn’t help me when those people buried my Jaejoong beneath the earth. She didn’t believe me when I said Jaejoong hadn’t died yet. She stood up for Changmin, Junsu, and others instead. I was so disappointed that no one trusted me. Back then, what else could I do?
I felt like no hungry, my appetite having run away as I blankly stared at the menus. I glanced at Junsu, still scanning the menus. Sighing, I handed back the menu lists to Kimi and only ordered a lemon tea.
“You don’t eat, hyung?” Junsu asked me.
“I’m not hungry,” I answered as I shook my head.
“Okay.” Shrugging awkwardly, he handed back the menu lists and told his orders. Kimi nodded a little and walked off.
“Do you know that girl? You both look quite close.” Junsu asked once he was sure Kimi was far enough to hear us.
“Yeah, she’s my friend and Jaejoong’s too. She used to serve me and Jaejoong when we visited here.” I smiled feebly as the vague memory was coming up in my mind.
“She knows about you and Jaejoong hyung?”
“Yes.”
Next, silence filled up between us. Junsu lowered his head, eyebrows cocking together as though he was thinking about something deeply. I, blankly staring out the window, was daydreaming nothing. Too many things to be thought and I was just too lazy to start processing them. Outside, the sky looked so dark, no moon, no star, solely the lamps brightening the dim night.
“Hyung… I wonder what Jaejoong hyung is doing right now. Do you have any thought where he’s right now?” Junsu piped up, staring at the darkness outside.
“He ain’t far away from us. Maybe he’s sleeping,” I answered simply.
“Is he sleeping in heaven?”
“Who knows? Maybe he’s.” Junsu nodded, apparently plumbing what I’d said. “I’m probably the only one Jaejoong wants to talk to,” I persisted.
“What do you mean?” He looked at me suddenly and I noticed the curiosity in his eyes.
Thanked God I didn’t have to answer Junsu as a waitress came bringing our orders. I asked her where Kimi was as she said Kimi was stuffing something. I nodded and thanked.
I sipped my lemon tea, hardly avoiding Junsu’s gaze as I was afraid that he might have found out something he shouldn’t have known. I kept my eyes on my glass, stirring the liquid while inwardly glimpsed to him several times. He was busy eating his dinner, and I felt a little relieved.
“You haven’t answered my question, hyung,” he grumbled while chewing the foods.
I was remained silent, clueless what to say. “It’s just a dream. Let’s forget it,” I muttered, sipping my drink again.
“I know you’re lying, hyung. But you’re right. Let’s forget it.”
I sighed inwardly, cursing myself how I could have been so reckless. Junsu might know nothing but he seemed to have found out something. It rather made me worry then. He impossibly had found out about Jaejoong. Well, it’s Junsu! He used to conclude everything without any evidence by himself. Thus, I was supposed not to worry anything.
My head suddenly felt so heavy as if getting stormed by slide after slide of vague memories. I saw myself digging into Jaejoong’s tomb, hoisting up his dead body, carrying him to my house -and why it felt so painful and I couldn’t understand how this regret could loom me.
It’s okay… you did that because you love me, Yunho…
I jolted a little on my chair, shocked by the sudden voice coming up from nowhere. I confusedly scanned around the restaurant and found nothing weird. But I swore I’d just heard Jaejoong’s voice. But then, that was true; I did that because I loved Jaejoong. Nothing should have been regretted, right?
Plus, no matter what people thought, I had spent almost all the time with Jaejoong today. We walked around the town, went to the park, talked to each other, and it seemed so real! That was so brainless people thought he was dead. Of course Jaejoong was still alive.
“How does it feel?” I asked casually.
“Not bad. But I still prefer Jaejoong hyung’s cooks however,” he said, not quite clear as he was chewing.
“So do I. His cooks are always the best, right?” I smiled, watching the latter nodding whilst kept eating his foods.
“I still remember how Changmin used to claim Jaejoong hyung’s cooks as his lover.” I couldn’t help but chuckle. Junsu was right; my brother looked like a food monster, deeply falling in love with Jaejoong’s delicious foods.
We were silent again. I let him finish his foods as I stared again to the darkness outside. Random memories came out from my mind, in which Jaejoong and I used to play in oh-so lovey-dovey, so unforgettable.
The pathway looked so dim and calm. Once again, I somehow felt Jaejoong around me, having me so relieved and peace, as if I was indulging myself with the darkness spreading towards me. I felt like being hugged from behind; my neck, my back, and left check felt the rare warm, apparently the warm air ghosting around my neck and face. I felt the fragrant, the intoxicating vanilla scene blowing my very mind far away to the oblivion. The similar fragrant I always addicted, in which I barely got enough.
I miss the restaurant… I miss to have dinner with you here.
Suddenly my heart fluttered fervently, startling all the nerves as the bizarre voice sounded so real, and so close. And I felt like someone’s palm touching my chest -an invisible one but so real, trying to augment the velocity of my heartbeat.
Chill, Yunho~ why do you look so nervous?
A bitter chuckle unconsciously let out from my mouth. This invisible Jaejoong-like apparently was pissed off? Even when he was unseen, he was still childish and loveable because of his obduracy. This content and love immersed in me that I was fearful and peaceful at the same time. Where are you, Jae? Why don’t you show up?
“Are you thinking of Jaejoong?” asked Junsu suddenly, getting back my sanity.
“I am. I just can’t stop thinking of him,” I answered.
“I know. Anyway, I’m done. Would we go home?”
“Do you want to go home?”
“No, I want to visit somewhere.”
***
The darkness seemed to be beautiful tonight. I didn’t know whether it was set off by the perfect moment I had had or today was just as beautiful as fated. The weather was rather cold but it couldn’t take over me as I still felt warm like forever.
“Do you still reminisce this building, hyung?” Junsu drawled, his eyes gazing to the abandoned building toward us. The moss framed its walls, the metal gate rusting, bush growing wildly on the field. The building looked so gloomy as it had been abandoned for years ago.
“Of course I do. I can’t forget this building, can’t I?” I said slowly, scanning the building again and again as the superb memory started replaying in my head. Then again, this building still looked the same as the last time I visited here.
“What are you feeling?” he asked.
“Well, recollecting the past, it’s somehow….painful,” I muttered. “Was it closed?”
“Yes, after you took out Jaejoong hyung, no one came here. This prostitution had lost its star and went bankrupt.” I just chuckled. So, I had stolen their pride? My bad I was too selfish just to keep Jaejoong with me and refused to share. Jaejoong deserved to be with me though. He needed someone who could always protect and love him just like me.
“Thank you,” Junsu said, staring thankfully to me as I could only smile back to me.
The sky turned to be darker, the bulky clouds covering the stars, moonlight diffidently peeking amongst the clouds. Junsu and I was walking back to home as we realized how late it’d been and the temperature seemed to drop off.
***
My name is Kim Jaejoong. I’m nothing. I fly randomly, aimlessly. I have no flesh, my soul flies with me. I have had nothing. I was supposed to be able to go to Heaven a long time ago, but this angel called Rafael said I couldn’t make it to Heaven. There’s still something putting me off. Thus, he suggested me solve whatever this drawback is. So I wander.
My name is Kim Jaejoong; that I’ve just figured out it was supposed to be ‘Jung’ Jaejoong. I’m owned and here I’m to find my owner. Yunho, this crazy little world has separated us, trolling us. I see the grief portraying on your very eyes. I can see into your heart, screaming for my name endlessly. I get the hunch that you still keep me ‘alive’.
Come here my love… I will be coming back for you, to pick up your very soul to go with me. Just leave this nasty world and create our own Heaven together. You don’t need those human beings if they merely mock your everlasting love for me. I’m not the death angel but I’m your holy angel. Come to me… and we will be the perfect angel couple forever.
My name is Kim Jaejoong, a ghost of the Yunho’s beloved one, coming back from the emptiness to take what is supposed to be mine. I’m picking you up, Yunho….
***
A/N: I come back, and ALIVE! Yes, I'm so happy right now because BIGBANG HAS CONFIRMED TO HOLD A CONCERT IN INDONESIA!! Yes, I'm so damn happy and I don't know what to say anymore. I'm just happy.
Another good news, I feel like I get back the sense of this fic. Before I seemed aimlessly to write the plot but I've got where this story would be run. I'm brushing up my skill to write angst first before I continue to learn the others.
Anyway, I will have my semester exams so pray for me >.< I hope I'll get better scores so I may get a new laptop *cough* and please pray for my scholarship. I've sent some addition of requirements. So far, it's been going well. I still need support from you!
It's been midnight here. I have to go. See ya in the next chapter!! ^^~ *hugless*
Bonus: