Ben/Jacob Fanfic
Ben knew it was there before he saw it. That shack, the rundown hovel hidden in a haystack of trees and the unknown.
And the silence. It roared in your ears. It shattered the air. And it screamed. It screamed like the babies unborn, mothers that never were, survivors that hadn't survived.
He approached warily and confidently, neither fast nor slow. The way he had when he was 12 years old, the way he knew it would impress anybody watching. Just because there was nobody around didn't mean there wasn't somebody always watching. Something watching.
He was at the door now. He licked his lips and inhaled deeply. This wasn't right. Jacob had never before summoned him twice in the same week. He prepared to free fall into the depths of some trauma that he would have to fix, no matter whose life was ruined or heart's broken. All for the greater good.
He knocked steadily on the door and waited. 10 seconds, 20, a lifetime. Did it matter? Its what it felt like.
"Enter, Benjamen."
The door opened slowly, independently. Like something out of a horror film. Something out of a nightmare. Ben's nightmare.
He took 2 small strides into to dimly-lit, dusty room. The air was old an thick and made him want to cough but he didn't dare. He clasped his hand nervously. There was silence. He became overcome by the feeling that it was he who must break it.
"You, er, summoned me, Jacob?" He asked, taking another, smaller, more timid step towards the table.
"Of course I did, Ben. Let us not pretend you are here to visit a dying man. Just get on with it."
"Yes, yes of course. I only mea-no, yes, of course." Ben stuttered and stumbled over the words. What was wrong with him?
"How are you?" Jacob demanded of him. Ben was taken aback. Jacob had never once asked him how he was, what was going on with him, how he was feeling.After all, he was following orders, wasn't he? What was question? In truth, Ben had never thought about him much himself. How was he?
"Fine. Just fine, thank you."
Jacob nodded, accepted this lie. "And Alex?"
Ben was surprised. They hadn't spoke of Alex since the day she had been put in his care. He had remembered? Of course. Of course.
"She's good, fine. Happy, I like to think."
Jacob waited.
"And Juliet?" He spat the words at Ben. He was angry, furious. Ben felt himself shrivel into the corner. That was what this was all about?
"Jacob, it....wasn't what you're thinking. It was different. I-well, since..." He couldn't bring himself to say it.
Jacob smirked, loved this. "Since what, Ben? Since Annie?" He hated him, he hated him, he hated him....
Ben stared at his shoes, stared at the ground, stared towards the earth. Stared at anything.
Jacob snorted and coughed like a dying man. A dying man, thought Ben. A dead man, he wished as an afterthought.
"She doesn't love you, you know."
Ben nodded miserably. Don't listen to him, he screamed at himself. His words are poison, all poison.
Jacob waited, building up some horrible truth.
"She slept with Goodwin, Ben. I'm sorry." His voice was anything but sincere. There was a laugh behind every word, a joke behind every misfortune he had ever had. This man, this thing, enjoyed the suffering of others.
Ben turned from him and rested his head on a shelf. He did not question it. He did not reply. He did not try to stop the warm, unfamiliar feel of tears running down his cheek. He could not stop his heart from breaking yet again.
"You're crying." Jacob commented, disgusted. "For who, her? All the reading you do and you are still so stupid, so naive, so pathetic? No wonder she slept with him. No wonder Annie di-"
"Why did you tell me this?" He whispered, interrupting. He could not bear to hear it.
"She is a weakness, Ben. I will not stand for it."
Ben nodded. Weakness. Stand for it. Words. They meant nothing.
"Go, Ben. Go back."
Ben left silently and without grace. He got outside and the tears could flow more openly. He felt sick.
Cry. Cry before they see you. Before she sees you. Before its too late. A thousand tears.
The door closed slowly, independently. Like something out of a horror film. Something out of a nightmare.