(no subject)
mmm today was fun...I got up and ran at the health fair...and won...lol i actually ran a PR 21 flat....wow i was so ticked though i didnt break 21...oh well...they gave me a clock for winning....like this handcrafted analog mini-grandfather clock....i was like....right..okay ill run with this..lol...i think ill regift it. My step-mom would love it.
I spent some time with my mom at the fair thingy even though it was like 40 degrees outside and then we came home and i fell asleep on the couch. I woke up and everyone was gone...lol i was like wtf..where did everyone go...i eventually found my mother asleep downstairs...and kuri had gone out. Then mom and i went to Goodwill to get me some shirts for my new job at OUTBACK! fuck yeah......haha...and while we were there i found this amazing dress for 5 dollars...it is ADORABLE!!!! Its short and white with black flowers on it and strapless...omg it just looks like something you'd buy from that white black store thats really expensive. It looks hot on me...so im wearing it to homecoming...mike and i arent going together anymore because hes not sure he wants to go so ill either go with Flo or ill go with some girlfriends...either way it should be fun. Then mom drug me to the grocery store and we spent some time in there...blah and i came home...broke the glass bottle for the chocolate milk and spilled it all over the place...that upset me....that milk is really good...it made me want to cry...lol
Then i got ready and headed off to Emily's cookout...it was fun...she wanted me to spend the night but i wanted to sleep at home...i dun really know why i just did. I kind of talked to Michael for a little bit...we're trying to settle things so we can be civil with one another...like i said before....its either a really good idea or a really bad one.
I am happy lately which is good. I'm sick of people expecting me to act a certain way around them and expecting me to be a person I'm not. So I'm surrounding myself with people who dont push me to do things that I'm uncomfortable with. The whole thing with Owen was so childish. He called me and left this message on my answering machine about how he wanted to know if I wanted a relationship and if i didnt he was done. Its simple...first of all ive told him how many times that i dont??? secondly...ud think hed have the balls to actually talk to me instead of leaving it on my voice mail. It just seemed really childish to me. And you could tell he was reading off of something...there was no emotion in his voice at all...it was like one of those computer things that u type in the words and it says it outloud....yeahh whatever. Its sad that we cant talk without being in a relationship..i think at least. Esp. since he knows i cant do one right now...and i def wont do one with someone with his habits. He acts like i did something to him...or that i didnt give him a chance or something but who's to say i didnt. I asked him on a date and we hung out and dated for a while...just fine..just because i cant do a relationship right now doesnt mean i didnt give him a chance. If a boy were to sweep me off my feet then sure maybe id get into one...but he just didnt. He was there like a friend. The things he did that he thought were boyfriend like were not things that mattered to me...like buying me things...the only thing he did i that i think was a good attempt was the poem..which was cute...but other than that he gave me no reason to want to date him. I guess he just doesnt understand the idea of working for what you want. Maybe he's never had that problem...he's seems to enjoy taking the easy way out of things anyway.
funny...who doesnt know that alcohol is a depressant???? i believe i said the same thing many times before but i guess you have to be a therapist for your opinion to count...
anyways godspeed to you owen...hope everything works out the way u want it to.
I want a man to stand beside me
not in front of or behind me
give me two arms that wanna hold me
not own me
and ill give all the love in my heart
stand beside me
I spent some time with my mom at the fair thingy even though it was like 40 degrees outside and then we came home and i fell asleep on the couch. I woke up and everyone was gone...lol i was like wtf..where did everyone go...i eventually found my mother asleep downstairs...and kuri had gone out. Then mom and i went to Goodwill to get me some shirts for my new job at OUTBACK! fuck yeah......haha...and while we were there i found this amazing dress for 5 dollars...it is ADORABLE!!!! Its short and white with black flowers on it and strapless...omg it just looks like something you'd buy from that white black store thats really expensive. It looks hot on me...so im wearing it to homecoming...mike and i arent going together anymore because hes not sure he wants to go so ill either go with Flo or ill go with some girlfriends...either way it should be fun. Then mom drug me to the grocery store and we spent some time in there...blah and i came home...broke the glass bottle for the chocolate milk and spilled it all over the place...that upset me....that milk is really good...it made me want to cry...lol
Then i got ready and headed off to Emily's cookout...it was fun...she wanted me to spend the night but i wanted to sleep at home...i dun really know why i just did. I kind of talked to Michael for a little bit...we're trying to settle things so we can be civil with one another...like i said before....its either a really good idea or a really bad one.
I am happy lately which is good. I'm sick of people expecting me to act a certain way around them and expecting me to be a person I'm not. So I'm surrounding myself with people who dont push me to do things that I'm uncomfortable with. The whole thing with Owen was so childish. He called me and left this message on my answering machine about how he wanted to know if I wanted a relationship and if i didnt he was done. Its simple...first of all ive told him how many times that i dont??? secondly...ud think hed have the balls to actually talk to me instead of leaving it on my voice mail. It just seemed really childish to me. And you could tell he was reading off of something...there was no emotion in his voice at all...it was like one of those computer things that u type in the words and it says it outloud....yeahh whatever. Its sad that we cant talk without being in a relationship..i think at least. Esp. since he knows i cant do one right now...and i def wont do one with someone with his habits. He acts like i did something to him...or that i didnt give him a chance or something but who's to say i didnt. I asked him on a date and we hung out and dated for a while...just fine..just because i cant do a relationship right now doesnt mean i didnt give him a chance. If a boy were to sweep me off my feet then sure maybe id get into one...but he just didnt. He was there like a friend. The things he did that he thought were boyfriend like were not things that mattered to me...like buying me things...the only thing he did i that i think was a good attempt was the poem..which was cute...but other than that he gave me no reason to want to date him. I guess he just doesnt understand the idea of working for what you want. Maybe he's never had that problem...he's seems to enjoy taking the easy way out of things anyway.
funny...who doesnt know that alcohol is a depressant???? i believe i said the same thing many times before but i guess you have to be a therapist for your opinion to count...
anyways godspeed to you owen...hope everything works out the way u want it to.
I want a man to stand beside me
not in front of or behind me
give me two arms that wanna hold me
not own me
and ill give all the love in my heart
stand beside me