(no subject)
When you only go to schools on Tuesday and Thursday, a lot can happen in your four day weekend.
It all pretty much starts last Monday. My parents were worried about our cottage (IE: Shack) in Canada, and hoping that the massive amounts of snow had not caved it in. So, the whole thing started off as "We're going to Canada on Friday."
Then it became clear someone needed to watch the greenhouses, and my sister was going to see a friend of hers the whole day. Now it became "You and Rob will watch the greenhouses for about an hour while we go to the cottage."
Well, then I figured I'd go to Joe's house afterwards and hang out. What Rob would do during that time eluded me... until my mother decided "If you're going to Joe's, then you're going alone to watch the greenhouses for a few hours."
So now Ma and Pa are off froclicing in the Canadian snow, my brother furthers his addiction to pretending to be a warlock, and my sister gets to hang out with her friends (IE: Abominations) while I get to take care of the family business. Oh well, at least I don't have to be out there until around 9:30. So I guess I can stay up late on Thursday night playing video games.
Friday morning, 7:30 AM. My phone vibrates off of my dresser and hits me in the face. It's my dad.
"Where are you?"
"Ugh... I'm in bed. You know, asleep?"
"Well, the 401 (IE: Canadian Highway) is closed so we're going to the casino for a few hours then comming back early (IE: Waste my tution on nickle machines.) Why aren't you at the greenhouses?"
"Because it's only 7:30, not 9:30 like you said-"
"Well, the sun's up. Get out there now."
I get out of bed and figure, my dad won't notice if I don't show up that early, so I'll hop on the computer and pretend to be a Warlock myself. My mistake however, as the sound of a phone denting my skull had woken up my brother. "Get off my computer. And go to the greenhouses. Get off my computer."
Man of many words.
So I arrive, tired, unclean, unfed, and unspiffy. I take out the list of things Dad had planned for me and do them all. He forgets that he's been dragging me out here for as long as I can remember (IE: 2nd grade. 1st grade is all a blur. Too much paste). I then retreat into the house, cook some TV dinners and watch as puppets taught me to count.
Snuffalufagus is a motherfucking pimp. End of story.
My dad shows up and tells me everything I did wrong. He wants me to take on the family business and I know it. Rob can't do it, Katie can't do it, and he just spent his life savings on buying back the farm. He said he "Preparing me for when go to the Casino more often." No, he's preparing me for when he hands off the business to me. Whether through retirement or...
A father's castle is a son's burden.
So then my father tells me to attach hangers. Ever seen a hanging basket, and wondered, "Who is the poor fucker that has to mantually attack those tiny plastic hooks to the pot?" Take a guess. For my dad, it isn't hard work. His hands are granite coated in sandpaper. I, however, spend all day typing, writing, and sitting.
300 pots and 900 individual hooks later, I was done. Over to Joe's.
Over the course of the night, in which I was there from about 4 PM to 1 AM, I hung out with Joe, Erika, Brian, Folkerts, Mikey, Dan, Kyle, Cleetus, and the cats, Sierra, Misty, Kilala, and Penelope, the male cat. We played video games, made jokes about fish, debated the awesomeness of Salsa Pizza, and even more video games.
Not much of a party, because that was the next night.
Yes, the following night, after a day of rest, soup, and more video games, I was driving Joey and Paul out to 18 and Mound for another infamous Richard party, this time at his sisters place. Two stories, 5 bedroom, and one properly working sink. I played bartneder again, and it was a heavy mix of Vodka martini's, Tequila Sunrise's, Mai Tai's and Mohito's.
To keep the details short, the people that were there: I, Richard, Jeff, Jodi, Stina, Shawn, Kristi, Steve, Bryan, Becky, Joey, Paul, Teresea, Aleisha, Jolene, Ashley, Diandra, Emily, Kelby, Frank, Justin, Kenn, Kenn's equally gay/equally black friend, Allegra, Dani, Ben, Bruce, and the cat, Peekaboo.
The events, shortned: Broken chairs, "Hey, you wanna make out?" Disgusting pool of unidentifiable thick yellow liquid, Where's Kelby?, Andrew Nichol's ass, Beer Pong, "DONT TOUCH THE FUCKING iPOD", Where's Bryan? Joey's unconscious pimp mastering, lots of tears, lots of puke, and a very cold, unwelcoming, dark closet.
I spent all of Sunday recovering. And God damn it all if I didn't desperately need that party.
So Monday rolls around, and it's Madame Jolene's birthday. I went to Great Wall, in which we ate Chinese food, trashed the likes of Korn and Eveanessence, and Bryan tried to eat a hot mustard soaked chunk of pineapple... and failed.
Then to Ashely's, where Jolene and I spent a good ten minutes explaining how whatever you say while drunk doesn't count when your sober. Lawyers couldn't have gotten this concept through to her.
Then to Lakeside, where we played around with $70 ballerina slippers, cleared out Hot Topic, got screwed with coat holding duty, ate pretzels and had a man pay to vibrate Jolene.
Then to Fruitoca, where after an hour of waiting, I tried a Hooka for the first time in my life. Interesting idea, it's the sexy bastard hybrid of incenses, a bong, the concept of hanging out and Fruit Loops, all rolled into one.
Then to Taco Bell, where we ended the night trying to out do each other with our fantastic tales of booze induceded stupidity. All the people I saw that night were Jolene, Bryan, Dani, Ashley, Ashleigh, Allegra, Blair, Derek, and Tony. Good times.
Yeah, I think this whole 4 day weekend thing turned out pretty swell.
It all pretty much starts last Monday. My parents were worried about our cottage (IE: Shack) in Canada, and hoping that the massive amounts of snow had not caved it in. So, the whole thing started off as "We're going to Canada on Friday."
Then it became clear someone needed to watch the greenhouses, and my sister was going to see a friend of hers the whole day. Now it became "You and Rob will watch the greenhouses for about an hour while we go to the cottage."
Well, then I figured I'd go to Joe's house afterwards and hang out. What Rob would do during that time eluded me... until my mother decided "If you're going to Joe's, then you're going alone to watch the greenhouses for a few hours."
So now Ma and Pa are off froclicing in the Canadian snow, my brother furthers his addiction to pretending to be a warlock, and my sister gets to hang out with her friends (IE: Abominations) while I get to take care of the family business. Oh well, at least I don't have to be out there until around 9:30. So I guess I can stay up late on Thursday night playing video games.
Friday morning, 7:30 AM. My phone vibrates off of my dresser and hits me in the face. It's my dad.
"Where are you?"
"Ugh... I'm in bed. You know, asleep?"
"Well, the 401 (IE: Canadian Highway) is closed so we're going to the casino for a few hours then comming back early (IE: Waste my tution on nickle machines.) Why aren't you at the greenhouses?"
"Because it's only 7:30, not 9:30 like you said-"
"Well, the sun's up. Get out there now."
I get out of bed and figure, my dad won't notice if I don't show up that early, so I'll hop on the computer and pretend to be a Warlock myself. My mistake however, as the sound of a phone denting my skull had woken up my brother. "Get off my computer. And go to the greenhouses. Get off my computer."
Man of many words.
So I arrive, tired, unclean, unfed, and unspiffy. I take out the list of things Dad had planned for me and do them all. He forgets that he's been dragging me out here for as long as I can remember (IE: 2nd grade. 1st grade is all a blur. Too much paste). I then retreat into the house, cook some TV dinners and watch as puppets taught me to count.
Snuffalufagus is a motherfucking pimp. End of story.
My dad shows up and tells me everything I did wrong. He wants me to take on the family business and I know it. Rob can't do it, Katie can't do it, and he just spent his life savings on buying back the farm. He said he "Preparing me for when go to the Casino more often." No, he's preparing me for when he hands off the business to me. Whether through retirement or...
A father's castle is a son's burden.
So then my father tells me to attach hangers. Ever seen a hanging basket, and wondered, "Who is the poor fucker that has to mantually attack those tiny plastic hooks to the pot?" Take a guess. For my dad, it isn't hard work. His hands are granite coated in sandpaper. I, however, spend all day typing, writing, and sitting.
300 pots and 900 individual hooks later, I was done. Over to Joe's.
Over the course of the night, in which I was there from about 4 PM to 1 AM, I hung out with Joe, Erika, Brian, Folkerts, Mikey, Dan, Kyle, Cleetus, and the cats, Sierra, Misty, Kilala, and Penelope, the male cat. We played video games, made jokes about fish, debated the awesomeness of Salsa Pizza, and even more video games.
Not much of a party, because that was the next night.
Yes, the following night, after a day of rest, soup, and more video games, I was driving Joey and Paul out to 18 and Mound for another infamous Richard party, this time at his sisters place. Two stories, 5 bedroom, and one properly working sink. I played bartneder again, and it was a heavy mix of Vodka martini's, Tequila Sunrise's, Mai Tai's and Mohito's.
To keep the details short, the people that were there: I, Richard, Jeff, Jodi, Stina, Shawn, Kristi, Steve, Bryan, Becky, Joey, Paul, Teresea, Aleisha, Jolene, Ashley, Diandra, Emily, Kelby, Frank, Justin, Kenn, Kenn's equally gay/equally black friend, Allegra, Dani, Ben, Bruce, and the cat, Peekaboo.
The events, shortned: Broken chairs, "Hey, you wanna make out?" Disgusting pool of unidentifiable thick yellow liquid, Where's Kelby?, Andrew Nichol's ass, Beer Pong, "DONT TOUCH THE FUCKING iPOD", Where's Bryan? Joey's unconscious pimp mastering, lots of tears, lots of puke, and a very cold, unwelcoming, dark closet.
I spent all of Sunday recovering. And God damn it all if I didn't desperately need that party.
So Monday rolls around, and it's Madame Jolene's birthday. I went to Great Wall, in which we ate Chinese food, trashed the likes of Korn and Eveanessence, and Bryan tried to eat a hot mustard soaked chunk of pineapple... and failed.
Then to Ashely's, where Jolene and I spent a good ten minutes explaining how whatever you say while drunk doesn't count when your sober. Lawyers couldn't have gotten this concept through to her.
Then to Lakeside, where we played around with $70 ballerina slippers, cleared out Hot Topic, got screwed with coat holding duty, ate pretzels and had a man pay to vibrate Jolene.
Then to Fruitoca, where after an hour of waiting, I tried a Hooka for the first time in my life. Interesting idea, it's the sexy bastard hybrid of incenses, a bong, the concept of hanging out and Fruit Loops, all rolled into one.
Then to Taco Bell, where we ended the night trying to out do each other with our fantastic tales of booze induceded stupidity. All the people I saw that night were Jolene, Bryan, Dani, Ashley, Ashleigh, Allegra, Blair, Derek, and Tony. Good times.
Yeah, I think this whole 4 day weekend thing turned out pretty swell.