True colours shining thru
Man, lately, i have been truly seeing the masks of my friends come flying off. I have, sadly, had to terminate 3 friendships in the past week. it's like a friendicide happening. MY problem is that I am a nice person. A really nice person. add to that, i have the attitude of "there is good in everyone". I think this is why this chest congestion is flooding my system right now. I am not one to get sick, and i know this is a physical manifestation of an emotional condition.
I was out adventuring with my dear friend, Jeanne, yesterday and had mentioned to her these few dilemnas i was having with some friends of mine, and how i proceeded in these situations.
The first friend, who i have known for three yrs has been playing this "game" with me of emailing/txting/or calling me to get together. I always immediately respond to her, to which she NEVER replies back. She has been doing this for the past year, and finally, a week ago...i had enough of it. I mean, what the heck? she will say " i miss you! let's get togeher! i have so much free time! call me!" blahblahblah. SO, i do...and she never responds. First off, not that i am the "most busiest" person, but i do have a couple businesses and i am happy to see my friends when i can. My friends are soo important to me, and I treasure them (everyone here included). so, when someone constantly yanks my chain like that, i am glutton for punishment, and don't seem to see the forest thru the trees. I finally had the courage to just leave a message for my friend (seeing she never picks up my calls, answers my texts or emails) telling her that i think its time we moved on in our friendship, for i did not have time for her to act like she wants to get together, when clearly, she has no intention.
one down. two to go.
the other person was someone i met a year ago, at a film fest. She works for a big investment firm. And, we seemed to get along. always meeting up with our group of gals, having a great time. So, the time came, once, when one of my other DEAR friends, who is going for her MBA in finance, had mentioned that she was looking to get an internship with some of the bigger investment companies. I immediately thought of my other friend, and simply emailed her, to see if she could help my dear friend get a name or refferal to someone in that department. Not only did she not reply, but she ignored me for months after that. No offense, but in most industries i know of, this is NOT a big request I was presenting her. All it took was a name and her name. So, then recently finished a friend's chaise lounge and sent pics of my work (both decorating and construction) to friends to put the word out. I finally get this email from her and she says " OH! i would LOVE for you to decorate my place". of course, me being polite, just simply responded "sure i can gice you an idea " to which she IMMEDIATELY responded "great! can you come next week?" W T F!!! I was beyond pissed. i mean, she could not even give me a name or REPLY to my email months ago, but when it came time for something for her (and she wants it FREE!!) she immediately jumped in. I emailed her back saying that my schedule is beyond busy right now, and that i need to put my PAYING clients in the forefont, for i have EXPENSES and BILLS to pay, not to mention SAVINGS.
two down. one to go.
The third person, I have known this person for over a year,too. It was more of a jealousy thing gone completely over the top. He reviewed my sitcom and was not being a 'constructive critic" but rather, took it as an opportunity to kick me down. seriously. it was horrid. now, i have not completely severed the relationship, due to the fact that my sister, his wife and my sister and their kids are all buddies. I am stll dear friends with his wife, and do not want my sister to feel that she has to terminate the friendship because of my bad blood with him. I gave his critique to a few friends to read, to make sure it was NOT me, and i was reading into it too much. I mean, i know my sitcom needs work, but it would not procure the kind of vicious critique he gave. turned out. my gut was right and others felt he WAS just beig mean-spirited.
so, for me, he's out. but, i still keep in touch with him and his wife through email. Only, out of respect for my sister's relationship with them. And, my relationship with his wife. If get together,again, with my sister, her kids, him, his wife and their's...i will go, out of consideration for my sister and his wife.
When i told Jeanne about all this..she was a beacon of support. and said "lusmila. You are a really nice person. And, i think you are finally starting to realise that most people are out for #1. Especially in NYC." she's right.
so, i say to all of you. Thank you for being my friend. thanks to those that show up, read and answer my posts. Thanks to for being nice human beings. My holiday wish is for the bonds i have started to create here in my friends page to continues to grow, blossom and deepen. and, that there will be an honest, caring and mutual repoire. (and, to my far-away lj pals, that i may have the finances to come out and see everyone someday very very soon!!!)
DAISUKIDESU, MINA-SAN!! HONTONI!
yoroshiku, onegaishimasu! ^____________^
I was out adventuring with my dear friend, Jeanne, yesterday and had mentioned to her these few dilemnas i was having with some friends of mine, and how i proceeded in these situations.
The first friend, who i have known for three yrs has been playing this "game" with me of emailing/txting/or calling me to get together. I always immediately respond to her, to which she NEVER replies back. She has been doing this for the past year, and finally, a week ago...i had enough of it. I mean, what the heck? she will say " i miss you! let's get togeher! i have so much free time! call me!" blahblahblah. SO, i do...and she never responds. First off, not that i am the "most busiest" person, but i do have a couple businesses and i am happy to see my friends when i can. My friends are soo important to me, and I treasure them (everyone here included). so, when someone constantly yanks my chain like that, i am glutton for punishment, and don't seem to see the forest thru the trees. I finally had the courage to just leave a message for my friend (seeing she never picks up my calls, answers my texts or emails) telling her that i think its time we moved on in our friendship, for i did not have time for her to act like she wants to get together, when clearly, she has no intention.
one down. two to go.
the other person was someone i met a year ago, at a film fest. She works for a big investment firm. And, we seemed to get along. always meeting up with our group of gals, having a great time. So, the time came, once, when one of my other DEAR friends, who is going for her MBA in finance, had mentioned that she was looking to get an internship with some of the bigger investment companies. I immediately thought of my other friend, and simply emailed her, to see if she could help my dear friend get a name or refferal to someone in that department. Not only did she not reply, but she ignored me for months after that. No offense, but in most industries i know of, this is NOT a big request I was presenting her. All it took was a name and her name. So, then recently finished a friend's chaise lounge and sent pics of my work (both decorating and construction) to friends to put the word out. I finally get this email from her and she says " OH! i would LOVE for you to decorate my place". of course, me being polite, just simply responded "sure i can gice you an idea " to which she IMMEDIATELY responded "great! can you come next week?" W T F!!! I was beyond pissed. i mean, she could not even give me a name or REPLY to my email months ago, but when it came time for something for her (and she wants it FREE!!) she immediately jumped in. I emailed her back saying that my schedule is beyond busy right now, and that i need to put my PAYING clients in the forefont, for i have EXPENSES and BILLS to pay, not to mention SAVINGS.
two down. one to go.
The third person, I have known this person for over a year,too. It was more of a jealousy thing gone completely over the top. He reviewed my sitcom and was not being a 'constructive critic" but rather, took it as an opportunity to kick me down. seriously. it was horrid. now, i have not completely severed the relationship, due to the fact that my sister, his wife and my sister and their kids are all buddies. I am stll dear friends with his wife, and do not want my sister to feel that she has to terminate the friendship because of my bad blood with him. I gave his critique to a few friends to read, to make sure it was NOT me, and i was reading into it too much. I mean, i know my sitcom needs work, but it would not procure the kind of vicious critique he gave. turned out. my gut was right and others felt he WAS just beig mean-spirited.
so, for me, he's out. but, i still keep in touch with him and his wife through email. Only, out of respect for my sister's relationship with them. And, my relationship with his wife. If get together,again, with my sister, her kids, him, his wife and their's...i will go, out of consideration for my sister and his wife.
When i told Jeanne about all this..she was a beacon of support. and said "lusmila. You are a really nice person. And, i think you are finally starting to realise that most people are out for #1. Especially in NYC." she's right.
so, i say to all of you. Thank you for being my friend. thanks to those that show up, read and answer my posts. Thanks to for being nice human beings. My holiday wish is for the bonds i have started to create here in my friends page to continues to grow, blossom and deepen. and, that there will be an honest, caring and mutual repoire. (and, to my far-away lj pals, that i may have the finances to come out and see everyone someday very very soon!!!)
DAISUKIDESU, MINA-SAN!! HONTONI!
yoroshiku, onegaishimasu! ^____________^