All That Glitters - Part 3
Jensen is hanging out with Danneel and Chad more and more and it takes a couple of weeks before he comes clean to Jared and Gen about what he’s been up to.
He tells them all about the first time they got him stoned and the subsequent times since then. He didn’t want to make it a secret but they are younger and he wasn’t sure if he wanted them to know about it. This wasn’t like sneaking beers into his room and getting semi drunk taking nips of liquor from their parents bar.
They aren’t mad, it is LA after all.
“Big deal Chief. It’s not like we’ve never heard of it and Josh and Jeff, hello?” Gen chides.
“Ok, cool. It’s not like I was trying to replace you guys or anything.” He was pretty sure the actual use of real drugs wasn’t going to be the biggest problem, but they are younger than him so.
“Why would you even want to?” Jared admonishes. “It’s not like were kids.” He knocks Gen in the arm and on cue they both make funny faces, puffed out cheeks and cross eyes. Jared even goes to so far as to stick a finger in his nose, Gen follows him and sticks her finger in his nose too.
Jensen lets out a bark of a laugh. “Yeah right, so mature.”
“We know there are going to be things you do before us and that’s ok, we’ll get there when we get there. Just promise us, no more secrets.” Jared gives him the puppy eyes but he’s also dead serious.
“No more secrets. I promise.” Jensen means what he says, but he knows there’s one he has to keep.
Even if he is in love with Jared, even if he knows Jared wouldn’t have a problem with it, Jensen doesn’t want to force his hand and make him feel obligated to return the feelings. Jared hasn’t made any notions towards being gay or bisexual, he’s dates girls, but he also wanted Jensen to be his first kiss and he sort of made out with Jensen. Jensen knows he has to be the bigger person and let Jared find his own way, whatever that is. Even with guaranteed heartbreak, Jensen will sacrifice that because Jared is still his best friend and his family.
No secrets.
I Promise.
No secrets.
Later that night when Jared goes to a Chess match, Jensen tells Genevieve all about his feelings for Jared and she promises not to say anything.
“Since we’re being all honest right now and baring our deepest feelings.” Gen’s cheeks pink up. “Tell me about Chad.”
“Chad? Really?” Jensen laughs and she punches him in the arm.
“I mean yeah, he’s a total stoner and stuff, but come on so are you.” Jensen punches her back. “He’s Hot little beach bum, so why not?” She pleads.
“You don’t think he’s too squinty?” Jensen teases.
“Shut up.” She’s rears back and grabs a pillow and swings at his head. “At least my boyfriend isn’t a Chess geek.”
Jensen gets the pillow away from her and pretends to smother her. They tussle then relax back into the bed shoulder to shoulder, catching their breath and staring at the stars painted on her ceiling.
“Boys suck.” Jensen sighs.
“You’d know!” Gen laughs.
Jensen elbows her in the side, teasingly. “Shut up.”
That summer, Jensen teaches Gen and Jared how to smoke pot, by letting them take a few tokes from a pinner. After a few more times, cloistered in one of their rooms, they get a handle on it and Jensen thinks it’s okay after that to let them come with him to a few parties at Danneel’s place. Jared is so loose and relaxed that he makes out with Jensen and Jensen lets him. Partially because he knows it’s safer than letting Jared just find the closest willing body at a house party full of strangers. Jensen won’t admit what it does to him, but he never refuses Jared, despite the fact that he knows should for his own sanity. The looks Gen gives him from time to time don’t go unnoticed.
Jensen drives to Genevieve’s loft in Venice Beach and looks around. Most of the place looks normal; there are a couple of glasses of wine and empty beer bottles on the coffee table in front of the leather sofa and he takes them into the kitchen, depositing them in the sink. The fridge is practically empty save for some leftovers, two bottles of champagne, a half empty carton of milk, butter, condiments and some produce in the drawers.
Nothing really looks out of place, her riding boots are by the patio door, and there is some attack sitting just outside on a bench. It’s not until he goes into her room that he sees it and he feels sick instantly.
The bed is in shambles, sheets strewn all over, blood stains drying to dark brown. Clothes are scattered on the floor, which wouldn’t be out of the ordinary any other time, but leans down to pick up her shirt and it’s torn at the neck and a few of the buttons are missing.
His blood is boiling and he wants to vomit.
There are wrappers and bloodied gauze from where the paramedics must have worked on her when they first arrived, making a trail leading into the bathroom. When he turns on the light it’s a horror movie come to life right in front of his eyes. More blood, more soiled gauze and towels, there’s even a smeared hand print on the basin of the sink. He’s living a nightmare and he feels guilty because he can’t even imagine what it was like for her.
His sits on the edge of the bathtub and puts his head between his legs, trying to catch his breath, tears having started up again.
After several long minutes, he stands and reaches for the wastebasket. He finds some cleaning supplies under the sink and starts to get things back to normal.
He starts with the mess in the bathroom, throwing out two waste baskets of stained towels and medical wrappings from the paramedics and even mopping the floor. He avoids looking at his face when he cleans the mirror above the sink.
He heads into the kitchen to look for a larger trash bag and sees a jacket on one of the barstools that he knows doesn’t belong the Jared. The pockets are empty, so he puts it in a paper grocery bag and leaves it by the door for the police or something.
When he strips the bed of all the linens and adds her clothes to the pile he just looks at it and shakes his head. He he’d burn them if could but instead decides to throw out them out. He checks his watch and it’s almost ten a.m.
He decides to drive over to Montana Avenue to get her all new sheets and a comforter from Rachel Ashwell. A little over an hour later he’s remaking her bed with the new linens and some other blankets and pillow cases in a floral print she has in her linen closet. The bed looks sumptuous again and more importantly pristine. Then he lights a pleasant smelling candle he bought and opens the windows in her room to air it out.
Jensen also manages to clean the rest of place up a bit as well, dusting and vacuuming, he cleans the dishes in the sink and gets rid of the old food cartons. He thinks about going to get some groceries for her fridge, but he doesn’t know when they are going to release her.
Once he’s done he calls Jared again. No answer. He leaves another message, angry now, “Jared where the fuck are you? You need to call me right away. It’s Gen.”
With nothing else he can do now, he goes to his parent’s house to shower and change.
He’s stripping out of his clothes and looking around his room at all the small treasures and pictures of his former self, Jared and Gen. Their little posse.
He’s in the shower when Jared calls him back.
The message Jared leaves on Jensen’s phone sounds like it’s just the best day Jared’s ever had and he says can’t wait to see Jensen and fuck him senseless. He and Chad are out in Palm Springs, but he’ll be back tonight.
He clearly doesn’t know about Gen.
Jensen decides to go see Danneel, see if she may know who the jacket belongs to.
Gen has a crush an epic crush on Chad, but Chad is too oblivious between hits of weed and the surf report. Danneel is hooking up with a married professor at UCLA and has added a more glamourous substance to her rotation, only because it keeps her skinny, she insists. Jared and Jensen are now connoisseurs of marijuana and bad movies. They’ve all become the typical LA rich kid.
None of that changes the fact the Jensen is still in love with his best friend. When Jensen thinks of Jared he thinks crazy things like Jared is a brilliant star that burns hot and fast. There is just no way to describe him without using overly romantic notions and flowery prose. Jared is amazing. The little boy that raced with him down the big slide has grown into this wonderful giant thing. Aside from the physical aspect of Jared, which is practically perfect, he has these long long legs, growing past Jensen when he was a freshman. Muscles that are so strong and lithe, Jensen loves it when Jared throws himself over Jensen, which Jared does just about always. Jared’s even great on the football field, that body, able and sure catching the ball and running for miles.
His too long hair is always in his face covering the most beautiful pair of eyes Jensen’s even seen. Most people always comment on ‘Jensen’s Grass Green eyes’ and how startlingly bright they can be, but Jensen always thought these people were stupid to not have noticed Jared’s. If you held a marble up to the sun and rolled it in between your thumb and forefinger to catch the different bands of green, blue, gold and brown you could maybe understand what it was to look into Jared’s eyes. None of the other Padaleckis have the same colors in there’s. Gerry and Megan carry the blues, Jeff and Sherry’s are brown. Jensen figures Jared got both plus that bit of blue, just because he was so mischievous.
That’s even before you get to that blinding wide smile and the dimples that are the icing on the cake. Jared’s smile, like his eyes, can be so many different things at once, it’s endlessly fascinating for Jensen and it just makes him want to return every single one, even when he’s annoyed with Jared. Jensen won’t think too much about the pink of his lips or the high hitched up curve of his ass, because that just sends Jensen’s mind wandering into fantasies he shouldn’t be having about his best friend and practical brother.
What he will allow himself to think of is the booming laugh that can be heard across crowds of people. Not in an obnoxious way, but in a genuine happiness and openness he wants to share with people and everyone loves him for it. Just like his sense of humor and when he isn’t being goofy, his brain. Jared is smart in so many ways. He’s street smart from growing up quickly with older friends but also book smart. He’s addicted to the written word, always with a book or news magazine somewhere on his person, always reading and telling, teaching, Jensen about all these things he reads about. It can be science, poetry, politics or inane trivia about the creator of the Rubik’s Cube. Jensen may love that most. But then his Jared list changes all the time.
Special, it doesn’t do him justice, but it’s what he is.
Jensen never thought of himself as weak, he isn’t, but Jared is strong. Not just in a “he can bench press two hundred pounds” kind of way. But his whole person is strong, stronger than Jensen. He has been able to take things on easily and work through them. Strength of mind, body and soul, fortitude, Jared is all these things and so much more.
Jensen is so in love with him it hurts.
Its summer between Jensen’s junior and senior year and him and Jared are stoned. Not at all unusual, it’s summer and they have nothing else to do but swim, surf and get high. Jared is going to be a sophomore in the fall and he just spent the last year growing like a weed, everywhere. For a while his hips and knees hurt from growing so fast.
Him and Jared sitting in Megan’s room with the balcony doors wide open, the curtains blowing all over the place from the ocean breeze coming through. Gen invited her and Mackenzie to go out to Malibu Canyon and ride the horses. The house is empty and Megan does have the best view of the ocean, the brat Jared thinks.
There’s a pizza box on the floor with two pieces left that Jensen knows Jared will eventually eat, just because it’s there. Their legs are dangling out the opening of the doors and their torsos are inside on the carpet. Jared had stepped on Jensen’s Raybans and he doesn’t want to go blind in the sun so this is working for them, for now.
Jared’s fingers are playing with the hem on Jensen’s shorts and Jensen is concentrating on keeping his dick from taking notice while he sun and the concrete warms his legs. His eyes are closed but he can feel Jared roll onto his side and lean over him. He starts to kiss Jensen’s neck and Jensen throat lets out a small moan.
“What are you doing?” He questions. This is the third time, maybe fourth, time Jared has made out with him. He hasn’t been counting he tells himself, but he really has.
Their first kiss, that time they got drunk on too many rum and cokes, and after they had watched soft core porn and Gen having fallen asleep on the other end of the sectional. It was really late and they were horny and half asleep.
But this is different and Jensen can already tell, it’s not just because Jared’s stoned. He knows for sure there’s intent when Jared slides a hand down and palms Jensen’s dick. Jensen halts his hand but not before he can feel the smile on Jared’s mouth, he was half hard already. “Jay?”
“Come on Jensen, I’ll be good, I promise.” He goes back to stroking Jensen over his shorts and licking into his mouth again.
“Jared, this isn’t a good idea.” He sits up and crosses his legs.
“Why not?” Jared pouts.
“You know why not. No Jared.” Jensen has wanted this to happen just as much as he’s trying to avoid thinking about it.
Jared leans his forehead into Jensen’s shoulder. “Jensen you don’t have to say it, but I know, ok.”
“You know what?” He pulls back and his stomach lurches. It’s everything and his nightmare.
“I want it Jen, I want to give this to you. I want you to have it.” Jared takes Jensen’s hand into his, then moves them onto his cock. “You want it right?”
Of course Jensen wants it, but he knows better. He makes the mistake of looking Jared in the eyes and he sees love there as much as want and hunger. Jared licks his perfect pink mouth and squeezes Jensen palm against his filling cock and Jensen loses his resolve. “You sure you want this?”
Jared just hmms into his mouth and kisses him. “Fuck me Jensen, I want you to.”
It all feels too good, the mellow thrum under his skin and the heat of Jared on him. Jared rolls him back onto floor and lies on top of him. They are chest to chest, skin on skin and it feels like nothing Jensen’s ever felt before. The other guys meant nothing to him, just a means for experimentation and release.
Jared starts to grind his hips into Jensen’s and Jensen follows suit. They kiss and rut against each other lazily, they have time. No need to rush it and Jensen wants to make this good for Jared. Jared starts to kiss down his neck and inches his way down his chest taking one nipple into his mouth and flicking it with his tongue. Heat shoots straight to Jensen’s dick and he hisses with pleasure, Jared is strong.
Jensen runs his fingers through Jared’s messy hair as Jared laves over his other nipple and grinds their cocks together harder. “God Jared, yes.”
Jared pulls off, sits back on his haunches and starts to pull the tie loose on Jensen’s shorts. “Get these off, I wanna see you.” He’s breathless, sweaty and the sexiest thing Jensen has ever seen.
“I want to see you too.” Jensen let’s out handles fumbling around Jared’s trying to unbutton his shorts.
They both shift out of their shorts and Jensen halts suddenly. “Wait?
Jared makes a small puzzled and irritated squeak.
“Are we gonna do this on the floor? In your little sister’s bedroom?” Jensen asks, suddenly feeling bashful.
“Umm, yeah I guess unless you want to do it on her bead?”
“Jared, we can’t. Your bedroom.” He starts to get up and Jared follows.
They are standing there in the doorway, sunlight and white diaphanous curtains blowing around them and this is the first time they are really looking and seeing each other naked. It’s nothing like changing clothes or jumping into the pool naked in the middle of the night in front of the other. There is a real purpose for it.
They both study each other, the lines of muscle, trails of hair, marks of old scars. They almost get lost in it, the weed still very present in their systems. When they finally look each other in the eyes the immediately start laughing. Along with just being naked they are both sporting huge hard on’s and it’s kind of ridiculous.
Neither knowing who should make the first move, they move into each and hug. Both quickly realize it’s the dumbest thing ever and the laugh again until Jared ducks down a bit and tilts his up to catch Jensen’s lips again with his. They keep kissing and try to make it out of the room but they are both all limbs and bad coordination and Jensen’s huffs.
“Forget what I said before, get on the bed.” He pushes Jared by the hips onto the edge of her bed.
He’s above Jared now and Jared just looks up at him with so much love, this is happening, all his dreams are coming true. Jensen tries to ignore the small pattern of lavender roses on the bedding and focus on Jared. His face, his body, he wants it all and needs it now but he also wants to make sure he takes all of it in.
Jared places his hands on Jensen’s hips and it’s only then that he realizes the position they are in.
“May I?” Jared asks, cheeks blushing and mouth falling into an ‘O’.
“You’ve never?” Jensen asks.
“No, but I think I can figure it out.” Jared says, pulling him in at the hips.
His tongue snakes out and collects the precome pooling at the head of Jensen’s dick. He laps at it and makes a pleased hum. “Tastes good, you’re sweet.”
But before Jensen can make some kind of reply, Jared winks up at him and closes his mouth down around the head and sinks down.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, Jared, Christ.” Jensen takes in quick gulps of air and his chest stutters. “Jesus.”
His body shivers at the juxtaposition of cool ocean breeze on his skin and the moist heat of Jared’s mouth on his cock.
Jared pulls back and sinks back down finding a rhythm and Jensen picks it up and works with him. His breathing is a staccato beat making his head dizzy and legs ready to buckle. He looking up at the ceiling focusing on not coming before anything else can happen. He can hear the soft noises and wet skin and sucking and grips Jared’s hair to steady himself. When he looks down Jared is looking at him for confirmation that it’s good. His pink lips are dark and wet wrapped around him and his eyes are sparkling with the light shining from the patio. Jensen lets out a groan and Jared smiles and lowers his lashes and sucks harder and faster.
“Sonuvabitch, do that again.” Jensen begs.
And Jared does, several times. He sinks down to the base of Jensen’s cock and sucks hard and he pulls back and the sensation is sending off sparks behind Jensen’s closed eyes. His balls are getting heavier and Jensen has to pull him off before he comes down Jared’s throat.
“Ok?” Jared asks, his facing racing between worry and knowing how much Jensen is enjoying it.
“Yes, very ok.” Jensen takes a step back and squeezes the base of his dick and bends his knees just enough to tug on his balls and get under control.
As soon as he’s sure he’s ready, he looks up to see that Jared is leaned back on an arm and stroking himself. Jesus Christ, his dick jumps again at the sight. He’s about to fuck his best friend. The boy he’s been in love with for years.
“Wallet?” Jensen asks and Jared jerks his chin towards the other corner of the bed.
Jensen steps over and grabs the condom he has in it. He always feel cheesy and stupid for keeping one in there but right now, he’s nothing but grateful. He remembers then he doesn’t have lube and looks around, patting his thighs and butt like he’s checking his pockets.
“What is it?” Jared asks, still stroking and panting.
“I don’t carry lube on me and you’re gonna be tight.” Jensen’s eyebrows scrunch up as he looks around for something that might be useful but it’s a little girl’s room. This looks like it’s going to be over before it begins.
“Jeff’s room. The second drawer down on his nightstand, hurry.” Jared drops back on the bed huffing out a laugh.
Jensen walks as fast as he can across the hallway into Jeff’s room and straight were Jared told him it would be. It’s there, and Jensen thinks fucking Jared, figures. He knows the house is empty but he is running around naked with a hard on, it’s kind of ridiculous.
He gets back into Megan’s room and shuts the door. Just as a precaution.
He throws the bottle and condom on the bed and leans over Jared. “Kiss me.”
Jared sits up and does just that. Their laughs melt into soft moans.
Jensen motions Jared to scoot further up the bed and he crawls up onto it. “Spread your legs.”
Jared does just that and he’s beautiful, totally exposed and there with and for Jensen. “Ready.”
Jensen pops the cap of the bottle and pours some slick over his fingers and gets them well coated. The last thing he wants to do is hurt Jared. He settles his hand just behind Jared’s balls and kisses him again until his fingers are warm again and Jared is relaxed. He rubs and strokes softly over Jared’s hole and when he feels the muscles loosen up a bit he slides his middle finger into Jared down to the first knuckles. He checks Jared’s face for any sign of pain or discomfort. There is none and he pulls it out then in again down to the base of his hand. Jared not only takes it his moves his hips to get more friction. Strong. They kiss again and Jensen fucks his finger in and out and when Jared makes another needy little moan adds another finger. It’s tighter and hotter; Jared only makes a slight wince adjusting to the slight pinch and fullness in his ass.
“Okay?” Jensen asks looking down at where his index and middle finger are plunging in and out of Jared.
“Better.” Jared huffs, his stomach muscles clenching and releasing as he grind down onto them. “So much better than ok.”
Jensen keeps going and takes the time to lick and suck on Jared’s nipples, peaked in tight buds.
A few minutes later after Jensen adds a third finger, Jared starts circling his hips. “Now Jensen, I’m ready.”
They both are ready, so ready. Jensen sits up and as he gets the condom on and add lube, Jared spreads his legs further and drops his fingers down and feels around the contracting openness of his hole. He’s fascinated. They both are.
“Jesus Jared.” Jensen is just in awe and Jared looks up, a puppy face and it’s crazy how much Jensen wants this.
Jensen leans down and lines up, looking Jared in the eyes for one more look of approval. Jared gives it to him and bites his lower lip. Jensen pushes in slow, the head of his cock breaching Jared’s hole. Jared takes in a deep breath and nods again. Jensen sinks in slower all the way to the hilt and pauses. Jared is so hot and it’s all too much and not enough.
“Go Jen, go.” Jared breathes.
“I love you.” Jensen says, he doesn’t mean to be sentimental but he does and he knows Jared does to.
He pulls back to the tip and sinks down again a little faster, Jared take it and pulls his legs up to wrap around Jensen’s hips. Two, three more times and Jensen builds into a rhythm, rocking his hips in and out of Jared. It’s perfect, Jared is perfect. His speed increases and he can feel the heat low in his belly. The kiss as best as they can with the frantic pace. Jared’s breathing harder and Jensen knows he’s getting close to by the way he’s clenching around Jensen. Jensen slides his arms under Jared’s shoulders and pulls him in tighter to his chest. There is no space between them and the heat is rocketing higher and higher. This. Yes. It’s everything!
Jared is the first to come and he yells and bares downs on Jensen even tighter. The sight and sensations send Jensen over the edge and he shoots harder than he ever has into the condom and he keeps the pace fucking him and Jared through it.
He starts to slow and Jared’s legs drop back down to the bed. Jensen stills, his dick still inside Jared and lays there while they catch their breath. After a couple of minutes Jared stretches his arms over his head and the movement tugs on Jensen’s soft cock still inside him. Jensen hisses slightly and shifts so he can hold the condom and pull out slowly.
There’s a box of tissue on Megan’s night stand and he makes quick work of the used condom and wipes himself off a bit, and then collapses back on Jared.
“You ok?” He asks Jared’s collar bone.
Jared lets out a large yawn and stretches his whole body, with Jensen on top of him.
“I’m perfect.” He flexes his fingers then pulls his arms back into wrap around Jensen. “And I’m gonna eat what’s left of that pizza.”
They kiss and smile at each other softly for about a minute and Jared cranes his neck and looks towards the floor.
Jensen snuffles against Jared’s chest and pushes himself off. “Way to make a memory Jay.”
“Aww, you’re so cute.” Jared teases and he rolls himself up and off the bed. He walks over the abandoned pizza box and bends to pick it up, then winces out loud and stands back up like a shot.
Jensen laughs but walks over and picks up the box for him. “Yeah, that’s gonna leave a mark.”
Jared squints his face at him and takes the two slices and folds them into one and stuffs them in his mouth. He is looking around for his clothes and chewing noisily. He mumbles with his mouth full. “Yeah, let’s watch Tommy Boy!”
“Yeah?” Jensen asks, they look on his face reads relief. He wasn’t sure if there was going to be any weirdness, there isn’t. “We can do that.”
“Cool.” Jared says, taking another bite of cold pizza and looking like he’s about to walk out of the room and towards his room.
Jensen pulls his arm back and says. “After we fix your sisters room.”
It’s kind of a mess and they did defile her pretty princess bed. A few hours later after Tommy Boy and in the middle of Jackie Brown, Genevieve and the sisters get back. Jared lies and says he accidentally spilled juice on her bed and he changed the bed for her, coming off like a hero. She never needs to know the truth.
It’s not until the next day that Jensen tells Genevieve what happened. She’s ecstatic for him. Later she talks to Jared and she’s less ecstatic.
They fuck like rabbits for the rest of the summer and Jensen is so happy he overlooks some of Jared’s bad habits that are starting to become a problem, like his burgeoning friendship with Chad.
Danneel is in a place of her own in Malibu, she’s seems great of course, except for what Jensen suspects is still that little cocaine issue.
She shows Jensen around, picking up scattered clothes as she goes. The place is bright and airy and decidedly not overkill pink. It’s fashionable of course and a little more refined than he would have imagined.
“Mommy bought me the house and then split with hubby number four.” She sneers. “Pretty daughters are too much of a temptation for asshole stepdaddies.” Then tosses off, “But it’s ok because they sure as hell pay for her, our, lifestyle right?”
Sadly, and not surprisingly, another part of Los Angeles life.
“Shit, that sucks. Sorry about that.” Jensen tries. He doesn’t really know what to say, I mean what you can say. He also doesn’t want to ask, but it doesn’t matter because she volunteers.
“What should I care anyway? Daddy Two got me a BMW for making me suck his dick and Daddy Three had to give me a trust fund and mommy new boobs for fucking me.” Danneel has never shied away from telling it like it is. “Men are pigs Jensen, but as long as I get something out of it, I’m good. I’m great. I just think of it as payment for not getting an orgasm.”
Jensen smiles weakly. “So what are you doing now?”
“You mean aside from just being my fabulous self?” She laughs haughtily, swiping her index finger under her nose like she has an itch. “I have found that my natural ability to dress and undress myself can get me paid.”
Jensen isn’t sure what that means exactly, but knowing Danneel, he thinks it can’t be good. His face says as much as his eyebrows crawl up his forehead.
“No Jensen, I’m not a fucking stripper.” She throws a blouse at him. “I’ve been doing personal styling and shopping for some Ladies who Lunch.”
“Really?” He smiles at that, if there’s one thing the girl can do, its shop.
She drops the armful of clothes on a settee, “Yep, they are too moneyed and busy playing doubles tennis at the club to shop on their own amongst the commoners and tourists on Rodeo. So I do it for them.” She racks a handful of business cards and hands him one. “And I charge them a boatload for it.”
He reads the card, her name and phone number on the back in gold on gloss black and on the front a black on gold fashion sketch. It’s really nice and pure Danneel.
“This is really good Dee, perfect for you actually.” Jensen adds the card to his wallet and just keeps watching her as she flits about the room like a hummingbird, hanging some clothes throwing others into a pile here and there, pulling out and putting away boxes of shoes and accessories. “So, perverted father figures aside is there anyone special?”
When she’s done all the racks, the closet and the shelves look like a well curated showroom.
She pulls a pair of jeans out of a stack of at least a dozen and white sleeveless blouse. “Not since I stopped fucking my shrink.” Again with the bluntness. “He wouldn’t even give me a discount on my sessions and he liked spanking me too much. Fucking Freud or whoever that psycho quack that was that never shut up about sex and domination.”
She starts changing in front of him, no shame, ever. Not that he’s interested anyway. She would be just as comfortable doing this in front of a room full of people, so he doesn’t even bother to look away as she keeps talking.
“Men are like tissue Jensen, disposable, they come and go.” She points the heel of a Louboutin stiletto at him. “I get what I can from them and if I’m lucky, they can eat pussy like a champ.” She winks. “Those guys get a little more of my time. Then I send them on their way.”
She slides on the heels, then rummages through a jewelry box, stacking bracelets up her thin arm.
He’s not shocked; he stopped being shocked by Danneel years ago. “And you don’t think you want a real relationship?” He’s being sentimental, thinking of Jared, but he’s also kind of sad for her.
“Why would I? The men in my life have only ever been interested in one thing.” Squeezing her boobs together and shrugging, but not look him in the face. “Present company excluded of course.” She twists her auburn hair in to a knot on the top of her head. “They get what they want and I get what I want.” She spritzes some perfume on her neck and cleavage. “I’ve learned not to expect things from men. Not that one of them has ever asked.” Those last words are a little harder in tone but he lets it go.
“Well as long as you’re good?” He questions. “You know you can always call me if need anything or just to chat?”
“I’m good Jensen, I’m great.” She looks at herself in the mirror, posing and adjusting.
“Don’t I look good?”
“You look great, Dee, you always do.” He smiles and comes up to hug her from behind.
“Damn right I do.” She checks herself once more in the mirror and Jensen doesn’t miss her staring herself in the face, eyes hard. “I always look good.”
It’s spring break and Jensen is almost ready to graduate, they are all at Jensen’s families house in Palm Springs. He hasn’t told anyone yet, but Jensen got acceptance letters from USC, Stanford, and NYU. NYU has the better program but USC is just across town.
He’s spent the bulk of his senior year only going on a few dates and never really getting close to any of them. He won’t admit to just waiting for those times he could have really good sex with his best friend. The one he was in love with. He knew how wrong it was, there were too many ways to count, so he tried not to think about it. But as much as he wanted it, he also felt just as guilty the next day.
Jared went on dates with girls and stuff, but he’s never actually committed to having a girlfriend so Jensen didn’t really care too much to think about that either.
In his own way he got to have Jared.
The illusion came crashing down when Jared told him after they blew each other in the pool house, that he might be in love with Adrienne Palicki and he thinks he’s going to go for it.
Jensen is stunned. Jared only went on two dates with Adrienne, and sure, they have a couple of classes together and chess club but Jared never said anything.
He kind of freaks out and yells at Jared. Jared doesn’t mean to say it so badly, but he tells Jensen he was only having sex with him because he thought it was what Jensen wanted.
“I love you Jen. You’re my best friend, it’s easy and you like it, right?” Jared tries. “I’d do anything to make you happy.”
But hearing it like that only makes it worse. Jared never wanted it to be more and Jensen just assumed it was. He took advantage of Jared.
Jensen keeps stoic and says, “Yeah yeah, me too, I just thought I was doing you a favor. But yeah, I’ve been seeing someone too.” He lies, trying to remain stoic and pretending like the guy is someone at school, who isn’t out. He thinks of Chris, but Chris has been long gone.
Jensen is hurt, humiliated and still in love with Jared. The rest of the school year he tries to get over it, puts on that everything is fine, great even, but that he’s really stressed out about graduating and starting college in the fall.
He accepts the admission to NYU, the one he wasn’t going to accept because he didn’t want to leave Jared, because their program was better for the field he wanted to go into.
Everyone buys the act but Gen. She knows better but doesn’t say anything, to either of them.
In August, Jensen leaves for NYU and Jared and Gen see him off.
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