Notes to Self for next year's Christmas party
Note to self #1: You live in Idaho. Start referring to it at the "Meat State" rather than the "Potato State".
Note to self#2: When the memo tells you that lunch will be served, it really means that meat will be served.
Note to self#3: Eat lunch before going to party.
Note to self#4: If you forget #3, keep reading.
Note to self#5: Don't drink even one glass of wine. Drinking on an empty stomach is BAD.
Note to self#6: Don't give into peer pressure of co-workers telling you "just one more drink".
Note to self#7: Don't sit next to your boss. You talk a lot when you've been drinking.
Note to self#8: Don't lie to your mom. If she calls and asks if you've been drinking, just tell her yes.
Note to self#9: Call your brother instead of your husband. He'll tell his whole office why he has to pick you up.
Note to self#10: When you call him to come get you, remind him where the car is. You won't remember later.
Note to self#11: When you go to leave, remind him to drive slow. Maybe you won't get sick this year.
Note to self#12: You're not going to die. You just feel like you are.
Note to self#13: You can ignore steps 5-12 if you just drink water.