(no subject)
The next few weeks should be amusing. Moving in with Zack and Paul over the course of the next two weeks, and then moving my office the following weekend. And yet, nothing will change, other than scenery and characters involved.
Yeah, so I'm in a rut.
I continue to be amazed that people still are interested in how I'm doing. The fact that I continue to get phone calls to hang out and do things and online friends still want to do things together not to get anything done but generally just to hang out genuinely confuses me. It is, of course, these things that keep my sanity - the knowledge that I am still a worthwhile enough human being that people continue to reach out to me, despite my own failings which lately have been numerous. My temperment, attention span, and overall general interest in things has been greatly diminished lately.
What I really want - really, really want - is to curl up on the couch with someone I'm close to (not even talking S.O. here, just someone that'd be comfortable with such things), and watch stupid T.V. shows and old movies we've watched a billion times until we fall asleep. Yeah, my aspirations aren't high here.
One of the things that just doesn't make much sense to me had to do with a conversation I had with Linds recently. One of her best friends, Matt, has been reconnecting with his ex-wife. Whereas before she was spending a decent amount of time hanging out with him, and he spent a good amount of time on WoW, he seems to have almost fallen off the face of the Earth. I...do not get this. Diminished time because of an S.O., I can get - there is a certain important of spending time with a loved one, but friends should never, ever change. Time should still be made to just see the friends, nothing should have to change; even if the friend is female. I don't think I could ever be with anyone that told me who I could be friends with or make demands on how much time I spent with them. I guess, though, jealousy is a foriegn concept to me. Kim tried to train jealousy into me, and that is why we failed romantically and then failed as friends. I suppose it goes back to that human urge simply to be wanted. Perhaps it is because I just don't "get" romance in the first place. I've always treated the people I date the same way I treat my friends, just with more ass-kissing and gifts...and, you know, those other things that come with the territory of dating that you simply cannot do with friends (unless you are receiving a benefits package, of course). But that either of us should change who we are or what we do for each other? Or, that we should do nice things, not because we simply have the urge to, but because it is expected by some demand of romance? Pheh.
I am just a different sort of human being, just like everyone else, I guess.
Yeah, so I'm in a rut.
I continue to be amazed that people still are interested in how I'm doing. The fact that I continue to get phone calls to hang out and do things and online friends still want to do things together not to get anything done but generally just to hang out genuinely confuses me. It is, of course, these things that keep my sanity - the knowledge that I am still a worthwhile enough human being that people continue to reach out to me, despite my own failings which lately have been numerous. My temperment, attention span, and overall general interest in things has been greatly diminished lately.
What I really want - really, really want - is to curl up on the couch with someone I'm close to (not even talking S.O. here, just someone that'd be comfortable with such things), and watch stupid T.V. shows and old movies we've watched a billion times until we fall asleep. Yeah, my aspirations aren't high here.
One of the things that just doesn't make much sense to me had to do with a conversation I had with Linds recently. One of her best friends, Matt, has been reconnecting with his ex-wife. Whereas before she was spending a decent amount of time hanging out with him, and he spent a good amount of time on WoW, he seems to have almost fallen off the face of the Earth. I...do not get this. Diminished time because of an S.O., I can get - there is a certain important of spending time with a loved one, but friends should never, ever change. Time should still be made to just see the friends, nothing should have to change; even if the friend is female. I don't think I could ever be with anyone that told me who I could be friends with or make demands on how much time I spent with them. I guess, though, jealousy is a foriegn concept to me. Kim tried to train jealousy into me, and that is why we failed romantically and then failed as friends. I suppose it goes back to that human urge simply to be wanted. Perhaps it is because I just don't "get" romance in the first place. I've always treated the people I date the same way I treat my friends, just with more ass-kissing and gifts...and, you know, those other things that come with the territory of dating that you simply cannot do with friends (unless you are receiving a benefits package, of course). But that either of us should change who we are or what we do for each other? Or, that we should do nice things, not because we simply have the urge to, but because it is expected by some demand of romance? Pheh.
I am just a different sort of human being, just like everyone else, I guess.