Nov 12, 2010 12:30
"I have been forced to accept that despite my prodigiously wide array of talents, skills, and advantages over the common man, I am not destined for greatness, as I had once presumed. "
"how have I grown so useless that my most notable accomplishment in the past week is having really really awesome hair? "
"my dad made us go out and buy a christmas tree then he also tried to make us decorate it. it was very depressing, just as you might imagine decorating christmas trees to be."
"Additionally, I would like to repeat that I feel insulted by most of my classes and that the reason I'm doing so poorly is that I cannot respect this curriculum and in some cases, the people who 'teach' it."
"To put it metaphorically: If the Sun got too close to the earth, a brilliant all-shining light would be thrown upon its homely surface, causing exactly one second of utter ecstasy to be experienced by all living things, just before they collectively burst into a belligerent blaze of glorious death. " (the sun represents me)
"I mean, you know, it's not like I'd have that much going for me if I wasn't smart. "
"Of course the real underlying problem here is simply that I am better than everyone. "
"Those sexual deviants over at Wendy's headquarters obviously have a new fetish: Wet, sloppy lettuce sown wantonly over the laps of innocent consumers!"