Story of a little girl.
A/N: These ideas have been swirling around my head for quite some time now. I plan on them, I visualize but never write them down. Not on paper, or on my E-journal. I sometimes dream about them, but nowadays the "Little Girl" has been practically pushing me to write out her story, so that other stuff can fit in my head.
I know, I never write anything good, other than my emo babble... which borders around episodes of TVD, and others that is out of scope of normal human mind, because like me, they are weird and crazy. And I am a 110% positive that THIS what I .. .Azmiri Sultana Mridul... am writing today.. and will In Shaa Allah be writing in future, is crappy loads of crap too.
But then, I have to write, it is not only my form of catharsis, but its something that I do ONLY for myself. It gives me happiness. I write and I get up of my seat happy. NO MATTER HOW IDIOTIC and DESPICABLE or "Whaaaaaat" my writing is.
I am NO WRITER, so it is only fair that my writing will suck. I am NEVER competing with anyone in regards to this, because how can you? regarding something that you do TRULY for the purpose of your own relief.
I don't mind others reading it.
So, here goes my first attempt at writing something creative after almost 7 years. Last I used to do creative writing, it was for my O Levels English. And then I stopped. But "Little Girl", pushed me into it again. :P
Its winter again.
All her friends are playing Badminton. This time it's a new school, and she can borrow a racket, from any of her classmates when her turn comes, but 12 year old girls can be really mean. And the new kid, who also happens to be chubby and naive is often an easy target. But to say that they don't share isn't true. They do, but she kind of has to beg, to get them into letting her have their racket. It makes her sad, but she begs, "sort of", anyway.
She JUST wants to be inside the crowd, belong to a group, have friends, have people know her. Changing schools every now and then, she doesn't have any real place where she belongs, no long lasting friends. She never had friends over at her place, doesn't get invited to birthday parties, or slumber parties, and even if someone asks she is NEVER EVER allowed to go to these events by her parents.These are ALL alien terms to her... absolutely alien. So to belong she tries her hardest to do ANYTHING to fit in, including blowing off money to buy stuff for her popular mean-girl friend, and feeding HER OWN lunch to friends in order for them to like her. BE a TRUE FOLLOWER, a member of the posse'.
You know. The usual.
So today she is watching her friends play, and she pipes in whenever some is kind enough to lend her a racket. She doesn't get to play much though. The bell rings signalling that recess is over. "It's okay" she thinks "We have a whole free period before school ends on Thursday, so I'll have almost 2 hrs of free period.... I'll ask Bel (her big sister) or Mom to buy me a new racket by then", that thought gives her a new sense of happiness, and she leaves the play field with a skip on her feet.
It's Thursday. She has a new Badminton Racket. It's black, her favorite color. She is so happy that she can't remember who bought it for her, but it's PERFECT. Even her mean friends like it. It's sleek, sturdy and the kind if racket she always wanted. So today she plays... with abandon, until the free period ends, until school ends and until she finally remembers that her bus leaves in about 5 minutes. And until she has to practically run not to miss her school bus.
She is so happy, she forgot all the bad stuff, the name callings, the constant reminder that she is "Fat", by a friend who is much well endowed than her, and the taunts and remarks made on her by her own people.
She played today! With her own racket! Everything is Perfect!!!
There is a huge commotion in her house today. Yelling. Screaming. Slang, name calling, throwing stuffs.
She gets up and leaves her room. Travels to their dining area and she is met with the sight of her parents engaged in a violent verbal fight.
*sigh* "These fights are increasing in frequency each day... why do they fight so much? it's ...." she thinks . She looks around and amidst ALL the raucous there is a little relief in her, although very miniscule, as she spots her racket hanging by the wall on a nail.
Polished black, against the off white of the wall. So pretty!
Then suddenly her dad, who was yelling at her mom, who was standing behind her, moves in front of her. The intensity of the fight is at full maximum. Her mom is screaming at the top of her lungs and so is her dad. By this point she (her mom) is crying and screaming.They are using each and every colorful language that is there in the book, and her older sister and brother is trying to break the fight, so they are screaming too. She stands behind watching them fight, unable to do anything
It happens so fast, it seems like a flash. Just a few minutes ago her racket, her strong sturdy racket made of an aluminum handle, metallic body, which was hanging on the wall.... is now off the wall.
One moment, its hanging there peacefully, the next.. her dad has it on his hand, having snatched it off of the wall..... The very next moment there is a sharp thrashing sound, and then the next sound is of a hard object slapping human flesh. Its kind of how a whip sounds when it strikes flesh, but this sound is more flatter. But she doesn't have time to pay any more emphasis to this sound because the sound that follows the "slap" immediately, is of her mom's.
She is screaming. In pain. Like an animal screams when you skin it. Alive. And she has a front row seat of this whole thing. Play by Play.
Her FAVORITE racket used as a tool to hurt her mom.
And then her brother is moving in fast, so is her sister. Her brother is pushing her dad away with all his force, and her sister is taking her mom away. Her mom is screaming in agony and humiliation.
She stands there. Moments later, she picks up her racket, the new "tool", and she finds out that its head, the otherwise straight and vertical rackets head is slanted sharply on one side.
She later realizes it's took this shape, due to the force with which it hit her mom's body.
"Man! that must have hurt" she thinks.
It's a school day again. It'll be recess time soon. She didn't bring her racket today. Her friends are asking about it. She makes an excuse. They say that she JUST bought it, how can it have *insert excuse*?.... She makes another excuse.
She can't make anymore excuses, she doesn't want to. She wants to play, is it so much to ask? It'll be tough for her sister to buy her another one again. So she asks her older sister for help instead. They sit on their veranda and attempts at straightening the kink/slant that has formed due to the "blow" at the head-throat region of the racket. They discuss the fight, her school and reasons behind the fight, their parents and miscellaneous while she is applying a little force every now and then to make the racket straight again.
After spending a good amount of time, she gets restless and applies a little more pressure than usual.
It snaps. It breaks into 2 pieces. From the throat. She inspects it to find out that the junction between the throat and the shaft, it smashed during the "blow", and the pressure just, made it crumble.
GREAT!!.... now she has no racket at all. She looks at her sister, her sister gives an apologetic look, which also kind of says "It happens" .... so she hopes that she'll get another one soon. She is hopeful.
I mean c'mon, it was a racket.. just a racket right? She have another one soon enough. Till then, she'll just have to learn how to share from others. It's okay, she has practice. No biggie :-)
I know, I never write anything good, other than my emo babble... which borders around episodes of TVD, and others that is out of scope of normal human mind, because like me, they are weird and crazy. And I am a 110% positive that THIS what I .. .Azmiri Sultana Mridul... am writing today.. and will In Shaa Allah be writing in future, is crappy loads of crap too.
But then, I have to write, it is not only my form of catharsis, but its something that I do ONLY for myself. It gives me happiness. I write and I get up of my seat happy. NO MATTER HOW IDIOTIC and DESPICABLE or "Whaaaaaat" my writing is.
I am NO WRITER, so it is only fair that my writing will suck. I am NEVER competing with anyone in regards to this, because how can you? regarding something that you do TRULY for the purpose of your own relief.
I don't mind others reading it.
So, here goes my first attempt at writing something creative after almost 7 years. Last I used to do creative writing, it was for my O Levels English. And then I stopped. But "Little Girl", pushed me into it again. :P
Its winter again.
All her friends are playing Badminton. This time it's a new school, and she can borrow a racket, from any of her classmates when her turn comes, but 12 year old girls can be really mean. And the new kid, who also happens to be chubby and naive is often an easy target. But to say that they don't share isn't true. They do, but she kind of has to beg, to get them into letting her have their racket. It makes her sad, but she begs, "sort of", anyway.
She JUST wants to be inside the crowd, belong to a group, have friends, have people know her. Changing schools every now and then, she doesn't have any real place where she belongs, no long lasting friends. She never had friends over at her place, doesn't get invited to birthday parties, or slumber parties, and even if someone asks she is NEVER EVER allowed to go to these events by her parents.These are ALL alien terms to her... absolutely alien. So to belong she tries her hardest to do ANYTHING to fit in, including blowing off money to buy stuff for her popular mean-girl friend, and feeding HER OWN lunch to friends in order for them to like her. BE a TRUE FOLLOWER, a member of the posse'.
You know. The usual.
So today she is watching her friends play, and she pipes in whenever some is kind enough to lend her a racket. She doesn't get to play much though. The bell rings signalling that recess is over. "It's okay" she thinks "We have a whole free period before school ends on Thursday, so I'll have almost 2 hrs of free period.... I'll ask Bel (her big sister) or Mom to buy me a new racket by then", that thought gives her a new sense of happiness, and she leaves the play field with a skip on her feet.
It's Thursday. She has a new Badminton Racket. It's black, her favorite color. She is so happy that she can't remember who bought it for her, but it's PERFECT. Even her mean friends like it. It's sleek, sturdy and the kind if racket she always wanted. So today she plays... with abandon, until the free period ends, until school ends and until she finally remembers that her bus leaves in about 5 minutes. And until she has to practically run not to miss her school bus.
She is so happy, she forgot all the bad stuff, the name callings, the constant reminder that she is "Fat", by a friend who is much well endowed than her, and the taunts and remarks made on her by her own people.
She played today! With her own racket! Everything is Perfect!!!
There is a huge commotion in her house today. Yelling. Screaming. Slang, name calling, throwing stuffs.
She gets up and leaves her room. Travels to their dining area and she is met with the sight of her parents engaged in a violent verbal fight.
*sigh* "These fights are increasing in frequency each day... why do they fight so much? it's ...." she thinks . She looks around and amidst ALL the raucous there is a little relief in her, although very miniscule, as she spots her racket hanging by the wall on a nail.
Polished black, against the off white of the wall. So pretty!
Then suddenly her dad, who was yelling at her mom, who was standing behind her, moves in front of her. The intensity of the fight is at full maximum. Her mom is screaming at the top of her lungs and so is her dad. By this point she (her mom) is crying and screaming.They are using each and every colorful language that is there in the book, and her older sister and brother is trying to break the fight, so they are screaming too. She stands behind watching them fight, unable to do anything
It happens so fast, it seems like a flash. Just a few minutes ago her racket, her strong sturdy racket made of an aluminum handle, metallic body, which was hanging on the wall.... is now off the wall.
One moment, its hanging there peacefully, the next.. her dad has it on his hand, having snatched it off of the wall..... The very next moment there is a sharp thrashing sound, and then the next sound is of a hard object slapping human flesh. Its kind of how a whip sounds when it strikes flesh, but this sound is more flatter. But she doesn't have time to pay any more emphasis to this sound because the sound that follows the "slap" immediately, is of her mom's.
She is screaming. In pain. Like an animal screams when you skin it. Alive. And she has a front row seat of this whole thing. Play by Play.
Her FAVORITE racket used as a tool to hurt her mom.
And then her brother is moving in fast, so is her sister. Her brother is pushing her dad away with all his force, and her sister is taking her mom away. Her mom is screaming in agony and humiliation.
She stands there. Moments later, she picks up her racket, the new "tool", and she finds out that its head, the otherwise straight and vertical rackets head is slanted sharply on one side.
She later realizes it's took this shape, due to the force with which it hit her mom's body.
"Man! that must have hurt" she thinks.
It's a school day again. It'll be recess time soon. She didn't bring her racket today. Her friends are asking about it. She makes an excuse. They say that she JUST bought it, how can it have *insert excuse*?.... She makes another excuse.
She can't make anymore excuses, she doesn't want to. She wants to play, is it so much to ask? It'll be tough for her sister to buy her another one again. So she asks her older sister for help instead. They sit on their veranda and attempts at straightening the kink/slant that has formed due to the "blow" at the head-throat region of the racket. They discuss the fight, her school and reasons behind the fight, their parents and miscellaneous while she is applying a little force every now and then to make the racket straight again.
After spending a good amount of time, she gets restless and applies a little more pressure than usual.
It snaps. It breaks into 2 pieces. From the throat. She inspects it to find out that the junction between the throat and the shaft, it smashed during the "blow", and the pressure just, made it crumble.
GREAT!!.... now she has no racket at all. She looks at her sister, her sister gives an apologetic look, which also kind of says "It happens" .... so she hopes that she'll get another one soon. She is hopeful.
I mean c'mon, it was a racket.. just a racket right? She have another one soon enough. Till then, she'll just have to learn how to share from others. It's okay, she has practice. No biggie :-)