work/life hack - it's personal
Less is more. Only speak when spoken to. Do not vent.
Decline when you can, if for self-mental health you'd rather not attend a non-mandatory anything. If pressed for a why, just say "personal."
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This week was my department's year-end "celebration" that was both a company mtg as well as "celebration."
Did not want to attend. Did not want to have to wear a mask of neutral or mild smiling when it was not how I was feeling. Do not feel like there was anyone there I would want to socialize with. So declined the mtg invite.
Sure enough, as the event date was approaching, was contacted by my mgr. Asked if I had seen the mtg invite: "Yes." I then asked back: "Is the mtg mandatory?" to which, after a pregnant pause, I received the reply: "We would like you to attend." To which I replied "Seems the mtg is not mandatory, so I will not be attending." Sure enough, they followed up with "Why?" Now was my turn for a pregnant pause, but with a mild/calm voice, replied with: "It's personal."
"It's personal." worked.
So, less is more. No elaborate discussions or verbal-dancing required. "It's personal" works.