Control
So one of the couples we went to the seminar with back in September? Adopted last week. Twins. And they were a gay couple from Houston (the parents, not the twins). In the pool for nine weeks. I think this made it more immediate for southplains than it has been. (I, naturally, have been freaking out about once a week since started this whole thing.) We've got a lot on our plates; Ben's looking at next quarter's classes and getting started on the pre-reqs for the master's program, which it isn't the end of the world to do after the baby, the sixty hours of volunteering at a school he's got to get in, which WOULD be difficult to do with a baby, and dealing with the contractors for his mother's proper cabin should she get that money dispersed soon, which is next to impossible to do with a baby.
Apparently when I say 'we' I mean 'Ben'.
Anyway, the point is, all future plans become tentative once we get into the pool, and that's kind of scary. I don't really care too much if we don't go to Mexico in May because we have a baby to take care of, but trying to take care of his mother's living arrangements and juggle a newborn is a bit of a stretch. At least when you're in on the pregnancy from the start, you have a general end date you're aiming for, but with an adoption we're on call at all times. Like, 'tell the agency if you leave town for the weekend and maybe think about making those plane tickets exchangeable' at all times. Ben pointed out that one of the first things they talked about at the seminar was learning to accept loss of control, and that was what we were up against here, needing to let go. I suppose that's part of parenting no matter how you do it, though: your life is inextricably tied to another person who you basically know nothing about and who will grow up to make their own decisions. It's not really that big of a thing, although the similarities to the beginning of a 12-step program are not lost on me.
Apparently when I say 'we' I mean 'Ben'.
Anyway, the point is, all future plans become tentative once we get into the pool, and that's kind of scary. I don't really care too much if we don't go to Mexico in May because we have a baby to take care of, but trying to take care of his mother's living arrangements and juggle a newborn is a bit of a stretch. At least when you're in on the pregnancy from the start, you have a general end date you're aiming for, but with an adoption we're on call at all times. Like, 'tell the agency if you leave town for the weekend and maybe think about making those plane tickets exchangeable' at all times. Ben pointed out that one of the first things they talked about at the seminar was learning to accept loss of control, and that was what we were up against here, needing to let go. I suppose that's part of parenting no matter how you do it, though: your life is inextricably tied to another person who you basically know nothing about and who will grow up to make their own decisions. It's not really that big of a thing, although the similarities to the beginning of a 12-step program are not lost on me.