Crossover Crack
Fandoms: Sailor Moon and HIMYM
Universe: Kidverse and HIMYM AU--I have no clue if this is Kidverse canon or AU, it just amused me.
Ami looked down at her plate, trying to calm her nerves, her hands clasped in her lap. This was their third date, and she had come to accept that she did, in fact, want this to work out. Which meant she was actually more nervous about this date then she had been about the first two.
“Are you all right?”
She looked up to see green eyes looking at her with concern, and a smile on kissable lips. “Yeah, sorry. Just…nervous, I suppose.”
Zoe raised an eyebrow, “About what? Third date, my understanding--though I hate to admit that I have not been on very many third dates in this life time…and in the last time I only had one third date, too…so…” She grinned as her rambling elicited a giggle from the other woman. “Anyway, my understanding is that whatever nerves there are at this point should be over whether this is long term, or where it’s going, or if the other person likes you, or if you’re doing something that the other person is quietly judging. Ami, I can assure you, you don’t need to worry about any of those things. I might, but you, dear, don’t.”
Blushing, Ami picked up her chopsticks to pick up a vegetable from her plate, using the moment it took to chew to figure out how to respond. “No, I suppose there might be only four other couples who could understand these kinds of nerves.”
“So, what’s bothering you then?” Trying to maintain proper etiquette, Zoe forced herself to keep her hands folded in her lap.
Ami shrugged slightly, “I suppose, there are just things I don’t know about you…and…” She bit her lip, “And in some ways this is our third try. I just…I don’t want to repeat the past.”
Flabbergasted, Zoe blinked. “Did…did you just…” Seeing Ami’s cheeks deepen, she shook her head and decided to just let that go. “Ok, so…how can I reassure you that we won’t repeat the past, that we can be fine?”
“I don’t know. Just…I suppose, we should make sure that we really know each other.” Ami shrugged slightly and took another bite of food, trying to force her blush to cool.
“Fair enough. What, my dear, would you like to know?” Zoe smiled and decided to throw etiquette out the window as she reached across the table to grab Ami’s hand. “Please, hun, anything. Ask, and I’ll answer.”
“Did you always know?” Ami’s cheeks did not return to her normal color, though Zoe was pretty sure that the blush had become one of sweet embarrassment rather than humiliation.
She opened her mouth and then shut it for a moment before squeezing the smaller woman’s hand, “Know what, Ami?”
“That you…like women.”
“Oh? Well, yeah, actually. My first crush was in second grade, and yes, predictably, it was the teacher.” Zoe chuckled at the memory, “She was pretty. Not much younger than my mother, but pretty. First, but definitely not the last, girl Collin and I fought over--in this life anyway.”
Ami laughed softly, “I cannot imagine even thinking about it at that age. So…” She bit her lip as she looked at Zoe, “have you ever…did you ever doubt…did you ever…” Sighing she looked back down to her plate, “Did you ever experiment with men?”
“There was one…” Zoe laughed, “Kinda. More an…odd blip. It was, odd.”
***
Zoe loved being in New York City. There were a few cities that were constants on their tour schedule every year, and New York was one of them. She usually wound up spending about a month a year in the bustling metropolis, and at times she felt she knew the city better than her own home, though she denied that when Collin made it an accusation.
After the evening’s show, she moved to the dressing room, and changed out of the gown she’d worn for the last number. She had to admit, it was a beautiful dress and she and her colleagues looked resplendent in their stage costumes, but she was always glad to change out of the formal gowns and into normal clothing. Snow covered the ground, so she changed into close fitting jeans and a flattering sweater; removed the stage makeup and applied only the lightest powder; and took her hair down, brushed out the bulk of the hair spray, and then tied it back into a simple loose pony tail at the nape of her neck. Taking a look at herself in the mirror, Zoe was satisfied that she would blend into the pre-Christmas New York populace, but was hot enough to pick up a girl if she saw one that struck her fancy.
***
“You were hoping to pick up someone?” Ami frowned as she interrupted the story.
Frowning, Zoe sighed. “I’ve told you, dear, though I’m no longer proud of it, but before my memories returned, I was a bit of a playgirl.”
Nodding, Ami looked at her plate. Zoe had been honest about that, though Nate and Makoto had necessitated the honesty by telling Ami during the time that the Senshi was still avoiding the other woman.
“Ami, I don’t have to finish telling this story. It’s really not that important.” Zoe once again reached over and squeezed the other woman’s hand. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, love, do you want me to take you home?”
Ami started to stay yes, but then bit her lip. She really did want to get to know the other woman, and loving Zoe meant accepting her past. “No, I’m sorry. Go on, please.”
***
The Irish songstress found herself at a bar on the Upper West Side, a small, seemingly insignificant, bar named MacLaren’s. Deciding that it looked like a promising place, she entered and moved to the bar. Ordering a glass of Irish Whiskey, she glanced around the patrons, carefully scouting to see if there were any prospects.
When the tender slid her a glass of whiskey, Zoe took a sip, suspecting that it would be decent, but definitely second-rate. She found herself distracted from her scouting by the drink she held. “Uisce beatha. I’m impressed.”
What Zoe had not realize was that someone else had scouted her as soon as she entered the bar.
***
“Hottie entering the bar, she’s on prowl, but specifically dressed down.” The blonde man smiled. “I’m intrigued…”
The taller of the two women looked over to see who had come in and grinned, “Mmm…I’m pretty sure you’re not her type.”
“Not her type? Please, Robin. I’m exactly her type. I’m every woman’s type. And with that hotness factor, a nine--she’d be an eleven if she’d gown up, but still, a solid nine, she’s my type. Ted, wingman me.”
“Barney, seriously. Far be it from me to keep you from crashing and burning,” Robin gestured with her beer, “But she’s going to burn you.”
Straightening his tie, Barney stood, “Challenge accepted.”
***
“Uisce beatha? That’s Gaelic, isn’t it? Where the word ‘whiskey’ came from? Am I right?”
Zoe chuckled, realizing that the gentleman was trying to pick her up. She had to give him some credit, the fact that he had heard her comment and was able to engage, was fairly impressive. “It is. It means ‘water of life’.”
“Appropriate. Those Irish! Am I right?”
“I suppose it would depend on what you mean by that…” She raised an eyebrow, her estimation of him dropping a bit.
The man apparently noticed the bit of ice in her voice, and quickly back tracked, “Just that they have given to the world the Armani of drinks, and the most exquisite women.” He raised his glass towards her. “We should all raise our glasses to the Irish, for make life worth living.”
“Sláinte!” She raised her glass the two gently clinked their glasses together, “Though, I have to admit, while the Irish lasses are quite attractive, I’ve always found the Asian women to be rather stunning.”
Barney chocked a bit on his drink. “I’m sorry…what?”
“Asian women. I’ve always had this thing for Asian women. Though, I try not to be racist. After all, hot comes in all kinds of varieties.” Zoe smirked as she took a sip of her drink.
“I’ll be right back…”
The Irish woman could not help but laugh as she watched him return to the table with his friends. She had to give him credit. The man had game, but there was no need for either of them to waste their time.
***
“You’ve always had a thing for Asian women?” Zoe was relieved that this time, when Ami interrupted, her voice sounded amused.
Laughing, she nodded. “Actually, yes. I think, cheesy as it sounds, I was always looking for you.”
Ami shook her head, “Zoe, you’re telling me a story about your womanizing days. Lines really are not going to work right now.”
“It’s not a line, but fair enough.” She wrinkled her nose, “Do you want me to continue or not?”
“Oh, no, by all means. Right now, I cannot imagine how you wound up sleeping with this man.” Ami waved her hand.
***
“Oh my god, guys.” Barney returned to the table and sat down beside Ted, “Tonight’s the night. It’s finally going to happen.”
The other woman at the table, looked at him, smirking, “You’re finally going to realize that you’re a complete ass and start treating women like people?”
“Get your head out of your ass, Lily.” Rolling his eyes, he turned his attention to Ted and Marshall, “No, tonight’s the night that I’m finally going to get a lesbian. And, if I play my cards right, I will win, once and for all, with no questions, the three way belt.”
Robin snorted, “Look, I don’t know all of the rules for this ridiculous belt, but I’m pretty sure to earn you, you actually have to have sex with both women, not just watch them have sex. Zoe’s not going to have sex with you.”
Everyone at the table quieted and turned to look at Robin. “You know her?”
“Yeah. She was on tour, and they had a show in Vancouver, and I was invited to join them on stage for a couple of songs. My manager was trying to help me get back on the top…and…so…anyway, yeah.” Robin shrugged.
“Oh, tell me there’s a tape of this!” For a moment, Barney forgot about the hot Irish lesbian, fixated, once again, upon the “Robin Sparkles” part of Robin’s life.
“Ugh, excuse me.” Shaking her head, the woman got up, moving away from Barney’s incessant begging.
***
Zoe went back to looking around the bar to see if there were any women who looked like prospects for the evening. There were a couple of attractive women, but before she could ascertain whether any of them might be interested in her, someone tapped on her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry about that. Barney, is full of himself.”
Blinking, Zoe grinned and the two women hugged briefly, “Robin? I didn’t realize you were in New York. You should come to a show. Do you still sing? It’d be fun to bring you up on stage.”
***
“Wait, did Robin say that Zoe was on tour with a they?” Marshall’s eyes narrowed slightly as he studied the woman that Robin was hugging, while Barney used his cell phone to take pictures.
Lily nodded, “Yeah, I think she did. Why?”
“Oh my god! Do you know who that is? That’s Zoe Emerson. Robin knows Zoe Emerson.” He was clearly getting excited, “Do you think she could get us tickets?”
Ted looked to Lily who shrugged and then both turned back to Marshall, “Who is Zoe Emerson?”
“Just one of the most incredible Celtic singers ever. She’s one of the Celtic Women, and her voice is just incredible.”
Barney, who had turned back to the table rolled his eyes, “Lily, control your woman. Irish, Star, and a Lesbian. Gentlemen, you’re about to witness history. This is the triple crown.”
***
“So, listen, give me your number, and I’ll talk to our manager tonight. See if we can get you up on the stage.” Zoe smirked as a slightly flustered Robin fished a card out of her purse.
“I don’t really sing much anymore, but…I am a local morning anchor.” She handed the card over. “If you could give me an interview, that would be incredible.”
Zoe grinned, “I’ll make a deal. I’ll give you the interview, though I hate mornings, if you’ll do one number with me. It might give you a bit of a boost.” She spanned her hands across the air, “Local anchor sings with Celtic Woman.”
***
“You were trying to pick up Robin.”
Zoe chuckled, “Yeah, kinda. Yeah.”
***
Barney rejoined the two women. “So, Robin, you didn’t introduce me to your friend?”
“Zoe, do you know Barney?” Robin grinned as she winked to the other woman before heading back to the table.
“Barney, huh?” Zoe shook the man’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I actually have to go though. I suddenly have to get up early tomorrow morning, but perhaps I’ll see you tomorrow.” She turned to pay her tab, but Barney laid a hand on her wrist.
“I’ve got this.”
***
“Scherbatsky!”
“You’re welcome. Though, I think you just put yourself firmly on her very lesbian hook.”
***
The next evening, Zoe joined the group again at MacLaren’s, raising her own glass frequently to toast Robin’s performance with Celtic Woman.
“Ok, I have got to be honest. I thought this morning that you were going to tell me that your manager had turned you down.” Robin shook her head, “I really did not think this was going to happen.”
Zoe chuckled, “Well, after he saw that you had lost the Canadian accent and were a local anchor, Ian was excited to have you join us again. Though, to be honest, Collin didn’t really give him a choice. He threatened not to play tonight.”
“Robin, you were amazing. This is, totally, going to make your career.” Lily smiled. “And Zoe, I have to say, it’s been great meeting you. You’re really normal for a celebrity.”
“Thank you.”
“Oh my god, I cannot believe you got us backstage. That was just so fantastic. Thank you, so much. This day I will tell our children about, forever.” Marshall was still gushing, which caused Zoe to laugh.
“All right, next round’s on me.” Zoe stood, “Nachos?”
Everyone nodded, and Zoe moved to the bar to place the order, Barney moving to follow her. “Hey, look. I just want to thank you. What you did was pretty awesome. Robin is incredibly talented, and I love to tease her about the whole Robin Sparkles thing, but she definitely belongs on a better show than the stupidly early local news show.”
Smiling, Zoe nodded as she accepted the pitcher from the tender, “You wanna grab the nachos? And it was my pleasure.”
“Seriously. Look, I’ll come clean. I was totally hoping to well, score with you, and I promise it would have been Legen…wait for it…dary, and I still want to, but I kinda feel like you should now be treated according to the Bro Code.”
Zoe raised an eyebrow as she headed back to the table, “This ‘Bro Code’ allows you to score with said Bros?”
“There are exceptions for awesomeness and female bros. And provisions for Devil’s Three-Ways.” Barney shrugged slightly. “Though, since you are a female bro, that would not be the case.”
Laughing, Zoe set down the pitcher, “Three-Ways are way overrated. I did it once. I much prefer being able to focus upon lovely woman at a time.”
***
“Wow! That really was legen…wait for it…dary.” Barney rolled off of the gorgeous Irish lesbian.
Chuckling, Zoe grinned, “Thank you. It was actually better than I expected, myself.”
“Hey!”
“Oh, don’t be offended. Considering, I’m not even a fan of your parts, that was a high compliment.” Zoe sat up, smiling languidly. “And, even though there was no direct bumping, you should totally check off ‘hot lesbian’. That definitely was sex.”
Snorting, Barney also sat up, “Please. I know full well what counts as sex. And that was sex. And, for someone who claims not to like what I got, you did a great job. Kudos to you.”
Zoe smirked, “I’m sure you know this as well as I do, but the key is watching your partner, seeing what works for them and what doesn’t. Different equipment, but it still applies.”
***
“So…wait, you gave this Barney a…” Ami blushed, deeper than she had at the end of the story and clearly lost what she was trying to say.
“A hand job, dear.” Zoe chuckled, amused at how easily flustered the other woman was.
“That…why?”
Zoe grimaced, “A couple of reasons. First, he called me a bro, which…is normal now, but at the time, it meant a lot to me. And second, it was just, when the man let down his shields, it became clear that he was a better man than he pretended to be.”
Ami raised an eyebrow, “And you were drunk?”
“And I was drunk…”
Universe: Kidverse and HIMYM AU--I have no clue if this is Kidverse canon or AU, it just amused me.
Ami looked down at her plate, trying to calm her nerves, her hands clasped in her lap. This was their third date, and she had come to accept that she did, in fact, want this to work out. Which meant she was actually more nervous about this date then she had been about the first two.
“Are you all right?”
She looked up to see green eyes looking at her with concern, and a smile on kissable lips. “Yeah, sorry. Just…nervous, I suppose.”
Zoe raised an eyebrow, “About what? Third date, my understanding--though I hate to admit that I have not been on very many third dates in this life time…and in the last time I only had one third date, too…so…” She grinned as her rambling elicited a giggle from the other woman. “Anyway, my understanding is that whatever nerves there are at this point should be over whether this is long term, or where it’s going, or if the other person likes you, or if you’re doing something that the other person is quietly judging. Ami, I can assure you, you don’t need to worry about any of those things. I might, but you, dear, don’t.”
Blushing, Ami picked up her chopsticks to pick up a vegetable from her plate, using the moment it took to chew to figure out how to respond. “No, I suppose there might be only four other couples who could understand these kinds of nerves.”
“So, what’s bothering you then?” Trying to maintain proper etiquette, Zoe forced herself to keep her hands folded in her lap.
Ami shrugged slightly, “I suppose, there are just things I don’t know about you…and…” She bit her lip, “And in some ways this is our third try. I just…I don’t want to repeat the past.”
Flabbergasted, Zoe blinked. “Did…did you just…” Seeing Ami’s cheeks deepen, she shook her head and decided to just let that go. “Ok, so…how can I reassure you that we won’t repeat the past, that we can be fine?”
“I don’t know. Just…I suppose, we should make sure that we really know each other.” Ami shrugged slightly and took another bite of food, trying to force her blush to cool.
“Fair enough. What, my dear, would you like to know?” Zoe smiled and decided to throw etiquette out the window as she reached across the table to grab Ami’s hand. “Please, hun, anything. Ask, and I’ll answer.”
“Did you always know?” Ami’s cheeks did not return to her normal color, though Zoe was pretty sure that the blush had become one of sweet embarrassment rather than humiliation.
She opened her mouth and then shut it for a moment before squeezing the smaller woman’s hand, “Know what, Ami?”
“That you…like women.”
“Oh? Well, yeah, actually. My first crush was in second grade, and yes, predictably, it was the teacher.” Zoe chuckled at the memory, “She was pretty. Not much younger than my mother, but pretty. First, but definitely not the last, girl Collin and I fought over--in this life anyway.”
Ami laughed softly, “I cannot imagine even thinking about it at that age. So…” She bit her lip as she looked at Zoe, “have you ever…did you ever doubt…did you ever…” Sighing she looked back down to her plate, “Did you ever experiment with men?”
“There was one…” Zoe laughed, “Kinda. More an…odd blip. It was, odd.”
***
Zoe loved being in New York City. There were a few cities that were constants on their tour schedule every year, and New York was one of them. She usually wound up spending about a month a year in the bustling metropolis, and at times she felt she knew the city better than her own home, though she denied that when Collin made it an accusation.
After the evening’s show, she moved to the dressing room, and changed out of the gown she’d worn for the last number. She had to admit, it was a beautiful dress and she and her colleagues looked resplendent in their stage costumes, but she was always glad to change out of the formal gowns and into normal clothing. Snow covered the ground, so she changed into close fitting jeans and a flattering sweater; removed the stage makeup and applied only the lightest powder; and took her hair down, brushed out the bulk of the hair spray, and then tied it back into a simple loose pony tail at the nape of her neck. Taking a look at herself in the mirror, Zoe was satisfied that she would blend into the pre-Christmas New York populace, but was hot enough to pick up a girl if she saw one that struck her fancy.
***
“You were hoping to pick up someone?” Ami frowned as she interrupted the story.
Frowning, Zoe sighed. “I’ve told you, dear, though I’m no longer proud of it, but before my memories returned, I was a bit of a playgirl.”
Nodding, Ami looked at her plate. Zoe had been honest about that, though Nate and Makoto had necessitated the honesty by telling Ami during the time that the Senshi was still avoiding the other woman.
“Ami, I don’t have to finish telling this story. It’s really not that important.” Zoe once again reached over and squeezed the other woman’s hand. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, love, do you want me to take you home?”
Ami started to stay yes, but then bit her lip. She really did want to get to know the other woman, and loving Zoe meant accepting her past. “No, I’m sorry. Go on, please.”
***
The Irish songstress found herself at a bar on the Upper West Side, a small, seemingly insignificant, bar named MacLaren’s. Deciding that it looked like a promising place, she entered and moved to the bar. Ordering a glass of Irish Whiskey, she glanced around the patrons, carefully scouting to see if there were any prospects.
When the tender slid her a glass of whiskey, Zoe took a sip, suspecting that it would be decent, but definitely second-rate. She found herself distracted from her scouting by the drink she held. “Uisce beatha. I’m impressed.”
What Zoe had not realize was that someone else had scouted her as soon as she entered the bar.
***
“Hottie entering the bar, she’s on prowl, but specifically dressed down.” The blonde man smiled. “I’m intrigued…”
The taller of the two women looked over to see who had come in and grinned, “Mmm…I’m pretty sure you’re not her type.”
“Not her type? Please, Robin. I’m exactly her type. I’m every woman’s type. And with that hotness factor, a nine--she’d be an eleven if she’d gown up, but still, a solid nine, she’s my type. Ted, wingman me.”
“Barney, seriously. Far be it from me to keep you from crashing and burning,” Robin gestured with her beer, “But she’s going to burn you.”
Straightening his tie, Barney stood, “Challenge accepted.”
***
“Uisce beatha? That’s Gaelic, isn’t it? Where the word ‘whiskey’ came from? Am I right?”
Zoe chuckled, realizing that the gentleman was trying to pick her up. She had to give him some credit, the fact that he had heard her comment and was able to engage, was fairly impressive. “It is. It means ‘water of life’.”
“Appropriate. Those Irish! Am I right?”
“I suppose it would depend on what you mean by that…” She raised an eyebrow, her estimation of him dropping a bit.
The man apparently noticed the bit of ice in her voice, and quickly back tracked, “Just that they have given to the world the Armani of drinks, and the most exquisite women.” He raised his glass towards her. “We should all raise our glasses to the Irish, for make life worth living.”
“Sláinte!” She raised her glass the two gently clinked their glasses together, “Though, I have to admit, while the Irish lasses are quite attractive, I’ve always found the Asian women to be rather stunning.”
Barney chocked a bit on his drink. “I’m sorry…what?”
“Asian women. I’ve always had this thing for Asian women. Though, I try not to be racist. After all, hot comes in all kinds of varieties.” Zoe smirked as she took a sip of her drink.
“I’ll be right back…”
The Irish woman could not help but laugh as she watched him return to the table with his friends. She had to give him credit. The man had game, but there was no need for either of them to waste their time.
***
“You’ve always had a thing for Asian women?” Zoe was relieved that this time, when Ami interrupted, her voice sounded amused.
Laughing, she nodded. “Actually, yes. I think, cheesy as it sounds, I was always looking for you.”
Ami shook her head, “Zoe, you’re telling me a story about your womanizing days. Lines really are not going to work right now.”
“It’s not a line, but fair enough.” She wrinkled her nose, “Do you want me to continue or not?”
“Oh, no, by all means. Right now, I cannot imagine how you wound up sleeping with this man.” Ami waved her hand.
***
“Oh my god, guys.” Barney returned to the table and sat down beside Ted, “Tonight’s the night. It’s finally going to happen.”
The other woman at the table, looked at him, smirking, “You’re finally going to realize that you’re a complete ass and start treating women like people?”
“Get your head out of your ass, Lily.” Rolling his eyes, he turned his attention to Ted and Marshall, “No, tonight’s the night that I’m finally going to get a lesbian. And, if I play my cards right, I will win, once and for all, with no questions, the three way belt.”
Robin snorted, “Look, I don’t know all of the rules for this ridiculous belt, but I’m pretty sure to earn you, you actually have to have sex with both women, not just watch them have sex. Zoe’s not going to have sex with you.”
Everyone at the table quieted and turned to look at Robin. “You know her?”
“Yeah. She was on tour, and they had a show in Vancouver, and I was invited to join them on stage for a couple of songs. My manager was trying to help me get back on the top…and…so…anyway, yeah.” Robin shrugged.
“Oh, tell me there’s a tape of this!” For a moment, Barney forgot about the hot Irish lesbian, fixated, once again, upon the “Robin Sparkles” part of Robin’s life.
“Ugh, excuse me.” Shaking her head, the woman got up, moving away from Barney’s incessant begging.
***
Zoe went back to looking around the bar to see if there were any women who looked like prospects for the evening. There were a couple of attractive women, but before she could ascertain whether any of them might be interested in her, someone tapped on her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry about that. Barney, is full of himself.”
Blinking, Zoe grinned and the two women hugged briefly, “Robin? I didn’t realize you were in New York. You should come to a show. Do you still sing? It’d be fun to bring you up on stage.”
***
“Wait, did Robin say that Zoe was on tour with a they?” Marshall’s eyes narrowed slightly as he studied the woman that Robin was hugging, while Barney used his cell phone to take pictures.
Lily nodded, “Yeah, I think she did. Why?”
“Oh my god! Do you know who that is? That’s Zoe Emerson. Robin knows Zoe Emerson.” He was clearly getting excited, “Do you think she could get us tickets?”
Ted looked to Lily who shrugged and then both turned back to Marshall, “Who is Zoe Emerson?”
“Just one of the most incredible Celtic singers ever. She’s one of the Celtic Women, and her voice is just incredible.”
Barney, who had turned back to the table rolled his eyes, “Lily, control your woman. Irish, Star, and a Lesbian. Gentlemen, you’re about to witness history. This is the triple crown.”
***
“So, listen, give me your number, and I’ll talk to our manager tonight. See if we can get you up on the stage.” Zoe smirked as a slightly flustered Robin fished a card out of her purse.
“I don’t really sing much anymore, but…I am a local morning anchor.” She handed the card over. “If you could give me an interview, that would be incredible.”
Zoe grinned, “I’ll make a deal. I’ll give you the interview, though I hate mornings, if you’ll do one number with me. It might give you a bit of a boost.” She spanned her hands across the air, “Local anchor sings with Celtic Woman.”
***
“You were trying to pick up Robin.”
Zoe chuckled, “Yeah, kinda. Yeah.”
***
Barney rejoined the two women. “So, Robin, you didn’t introduce me to your friend?”
“Zoe, do you know Barney?” Robin grinned as she winked to the other woman before heading back to the table.
“Barney, huh?” Zoe shook the man’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I actually have to go though. I suddenly have to get up early tomorrow morning, but perhaps I’ll see you tomorrow.” She turned to pay her tab, but Barney laid a hand on her wrist.
“I’ve got this.”
***
“Scherbatsky!”
“You’re welcome. Though, I think you just put yourself firmly on her very lesbian hook.”
***
The next evening, Zoe joined the group again at MacLaren’s, raising her own glass frequently to toast Robin’s performance with Celtic Woman.
“Ok, I have got to be honest. I thought this morning that you were going to tell me that your manager had turned you down.” Robin shook her head, “I really did not think this was going to happen.”
Zoe chuckled, “Well, after he saw that you had lost the Canadian accent and were a local anchor, Ian was excited to have you join us again. Though, to be honest, Collin didn’t really give him a choice. He threatened not to play tonight.”
“Robin, you were amazing. This is, totally, going to make your career.” Lily smiled. “And Zoe, I have to say, it’s been great meeting you. You’re really normal for a celebrity.”
“Thank you.”
“Oh my god, I cannot believe you got us backstage. That was just so fantastic. Thank you, so much. This day I will tell our children about, forever.” Marshall was still gushing, which caused Zoe to laugh.
“All right, next round’s on me.” Zoe stood, “Nachos?”
Everyone nodded, and Zoe moved to the bar to place the order, Barney moving to follow her. “Hey, look. I just want to thank you. What you did was pretty awesome. Robin is incredibly talented, and I love to tease her about the whole Robin Sparkles thing, but she definitely belongs on a better show than the stupidly early local news show.”
Smiling, Zoe nodded as she accepted the pitcher from the tender, “You wanna grab the nachos? And it was my pleasure.”
“Seriously. Look, I’ll come clean. I was totally hoping to well, score with you, and I promise it would have been Legen…wait for it…dary, and I still want to, but I kinda feel like you should now be treated according to the Bro Code.”
Zoe raised an eyebrow as she headed back to the table, “This ‘Bro Code’ allows you to score with said Bros?”
“There are exceptions for awesomeness and female bros. And provisions for Devil’s Three-Ways.” Barney shrugged slightly. “Though, since you are a female bro, that would not be the case.”
Laughing, Zoe set down the pitcher, “Three-Ways are way overrated. I did it once. I much prefer being able to focus upon lovely woman at a time.”
***
“Wow! That really was legen…wait for it…dary.” Barney rolled off of the gorgeous Irish lesbian.
Chuckling, Zoe grinned, “Thank you. It was actually better than I expected, myself.”
“Hey!”
“Oh, don’t be offended. Considering, I’m not even a fan of your parts, that was a high compliment.” Zoe sat up, smiling languidly. “And, even though there was no direct bumping, you should totally check off ‘hot lesbian’. That definitely was sex.”
Snorting, Barney also sat up, “Please. I know full well what counts as sex. And that was sex. And, for someone who claims not to like what I got, you did a great job. Kudos to you.”
Zoe smirked, “I’m sure you know this as well as I do, but the key is watching your partner, seeing what works for them and what doesn’t. Different equipment, but it still applies.”
***
“So…wait, you gave this Barney a…” Ami blushed, deeper than she had at the end of the story and clearly lost what she was trying to say.
“A hand job, dear.” Zoe chuckled, amused at how easily flustered the other woman was.
“That…why?”
Zoe grimaced, “A couple of reasons. First, he called me a bro, which…is normal now, but at the time, it meant a lot to me. And second, it was just, when the man let down his shields, it became clear that he was a better man than he pretended to be.”
Ami raised an eyebrow, “And you were drunk?”
“And I was drunk…”