He took a leap form wanting me out of the house to leaving me alone in here, didn't he? I have to admire the logic on that one, really. There's so much of it that isn't there.
I feel a little guilty. Every time Carly complained about Madsen, I assumed she was exagerating to get the kind of attention that she wasn't getting at home. People like Madsen, as a general rule, are not believed to exist. Now, I see that not only does he exist, he's just as bad as she said he was. Maybe worse as far as having an actual IQ and brain functions go. Carly didn't care much about him being stupid, she was more concerned with how annoying he was.
I'm thinking there are equal levels of both with this jackass.
What is he checking, anyway?
And he's back. Back, and suspicious. He's wondering if I slipped a bomb under the couch cushions, isn't he?
That's a little tackier than I prefer to be. Not all of us are dumb enough to have our town of residence listed on MySpace. Some assassins still enjoy being professional, and I consider myself one of them.
"My Mom's here."
"Are you serious?"
"Shut up, okay? It's not like that, my Dad died and I let her stay here for a while."
"And how many years has it been since she started staying here?"
I can't help but ask. A grown man living with his mother is something you don't see every day if you can help it. The fact that Sam's best friend does says a lot about where Carly's husband would be if she'd rejected him in the beginning like I told her to.
People should listen to me as often as possible. It would avoid so much violence.
"And how many years has it been since she started staying here?"
Dude, it has not been years! I am not that sort of dude!
"She's been here a few weeks."
I am so not cool with this conversation, but if I back out of answering, she'll totally give me shit for it. I hate this chick. And I do not need to be judged just because my Mom's here. She's having a rough time because Dad's dead.
Sure, she can't stay here forever, because it totally would not work for either me or her. So I'll get her out.
Eventually. When it's cool. Or when I can get Erin to take care of her.
"I'm working out getting my sister to handle her soon." So you totally can stop judging now, Amazon chick.
If Sammy's going to show with The Snowflake, he needs to get here soon. Because dude, there is only so much of this shit that I can take. It's so uncool.
"But she's been having it rough, so I let her stay for a little bit." I checked out the window to see if anyone was coming, and then thought about whether or not Sammy would have his cell on him.
Dude, wait, no he wouldn't. They'd track him by that. There's totally no way to contact him. The only way I'm gonna hear one way or the other is if they get him, and that's the thing I don't want. So I'm totally stuck waiting here with Lauren the lesbian Amazon chick.
The same one who hates guys because she likes girls. Which means she's totally going to keep driving me nuts.
Why didn't I just shoot this chick at the door? Seriously?
So far. And I bet she's gotten extremely comfortable here in those few weeks, hasn't she? I bet her son's house is finally starting to feel like home to her. What's he going to do now that she's settled in, kick her out?
He's trapped. Unless he wants to win an award for being the worst little son on the face of the planet, Madsen is going to be stuck with his mother for a while. Possibly for the rest of his life. I can't be sure because I don't know the woman, but I know how mothers work. They can set off the guilt mechanism like no fucking other.
After all, they brought you into this world.
I just tell mine that I could take her out of it. No offense to Mom, but the favor of existence isn't the end all be all guilt trip that most people make it out to be. We're all here because our parents decided to brave the nine months of hell. Its no more special that my mom did it than it is that anyone else's did.
"I'm working out getting my sister to handle her soon."
But I bet his sister has a lot going on in her life, and is trying to get things together, ect, ect. She probably has no intention of 'handling' anything, she just wants Madsen to keep their mother around long enough for her to get too comfortable to leave. And Madsen, being too dense to pick up on this, thinks that she actually plans on handling the responsibilty of living with her mother.
They're really going to work that out well.
"But she's been having it rough, so I let her stay for a little bit."
"That's nice, but you're not getting rid of her anytime soon."
The sooner he understands that, the easier it will be for him to accept it in the long run. Maybe he'll even grow a set and tell her to move out, I doubt it, but its always possible.
But unless he does that, she's not going anywhere.
"Me then you." I looked at the dry cleaning in the back of the van that Carly had just started going through, and shrugged at her. "Whatever works." Because I doubt Madsen has something for us to wear in there.
Might check once we get inside, but I really doubt it.
I grabbed a bowling shirt, and a pair of pants, and got those on, then got out of the van.
And exactly three seconds later, someone walked out of the house. Someone definitely not Madsen, because they were blonde, female, and definitely not my best friend.
Shit, what the hell is Lauren doing here?!
"Whoa, hang on a second." I put both my hands up just enough for her to see them, and didn't move. "She's in the van, she's getting dressed. She'll be out in a second."
And Madsen came out just behind Lauren.
"Sammy, dude, took you long enough getting here."
"We got a little held up." He looks a lot less annoyed with Lauren standing next to him than he should be. This is freakin' disturbing. They were both waiting for us in the same place without killing each other? For how long?
Well, Madsen was probably waiting for us, Lauren was most likely waiting to see whether or not Carly had killed me after all.
I sighed and looked over at the van, and called to my wife, who was taking a little too freakin' long. "Carly? Can you get out here? Looks like Madsen's not alone."
Tell your ex to stop looking at me like she's deciding which part to put a bullet in first, please.
Sam can take the blame if I die. I think that'll bug him now, so I want him to have it. If anything happens to me and Madsen finally takes my life, I want Sam to feel guilty for the rest of his because he was dumb enough to insist that we come here instead of going off on our own and making a plan.
Or just going off on our own, period. I don't know why Sam hasn't brought that up yet. You would think it might have crossed his mind by now, but if it has, he isn't saying anything about it, so I guess I'm not either.
But this is going to get uglier than a blown up house, and when it does, I think we should both remember that we have that to fall back on. We've survived this much, but they're going to come at us twice as hard if they think we're together again.
And last I checked, we are.
God damnit, why did it have to be bowling? I know our neighbors are dull, that was supposed to be the whole point, but bowling?
I hate them. So much.
"Whatever works."
I think I like being half naked better, but I'll go with it.
I took off Sam's shirt and slipped on the fucking bowling one, and then the pants that went along with it. I'm more petite than the kind of woman this outfit was made for, but I don't have a choice, so whatever.
I don't care what Madsen thinks of how I look anyway.
I moved so that Sam had room to get out, and sat down, trying to smooth my hair over for the hell of it. I hate being a sloppy killer, its never been who I am.
I do my job with class. Not with messy hair, and bowling shirts, not sore from a night of sex and violence...
But I'm willing to change that last part. If we can find a way out of this.
...Is that Lauren?
Shit, what's she doing here?
"Carly? Can you get out here? Looks like Madsen's not alone."
I noticed. Lauren's here.
This is ridiculous. She's going to shoot somebody. I'm surprised she hasn't already. Maybe she took care of Madsen's mom for him or someth--no, she looks too tense to have done that. I know her itchy trigger finger look, and that's it.
I buttoned one more button on my shirt and climbed out of the van, going over to Sam and standing beside him.
No, he's not holding me hostage, Lauren. We happen to be trying to work this out.
"What made the two of you decide to wait for us together?"
Please don't say its because you decided to split the money for us. That's the last thing I need right now.
Sammy, dude, what is with the bowling clothes? Totally lousy disguise. And I know we covered that enough when we were getting trained. You almost had way too much fun with it.
So what's with the get ups?
"Carly? Can you get out here? Looks like Madsen's not alone."
"Yeah, sorry dude."
Amazon chick needs to lower the gun. I'm not waiting for Snowflake to get out here so I can shoot her, she needs to show a little respect. Totally not asking too much, since I've already had her in my house infecting the place with her Amazonyness.
Not pointing the gun at my best friend? Totally a small thing, since he's not pointing any guns at her. Infecting my place with the Amazonyness? Totally a huge thing.
Oh look, here's the Snowflake. In the same kind of outfit.
"Dude, what's with the clothes?"
"Don't ask."
"What made the two of you decide to wait for us together?"
"She showed up here to wait for you," I nodded over to Lauren. "And she decided to stick around," And infect. "In case you guys showed up here." Which, they did.
"So what happened, dude?"
"We worked out our differences."
He totally looks a little too happy with how he's saying that. Sammy got laid. And I only think that's good 'cause it means he's still standing, instead of playing Kill or Be Killed with the Snowflake.
By the way, once again, totally called how much of a bad idea she really turned out to be.
"... Cool." I looked around. They're probably still cleaning up what has to be a total mess from however Sammy and the Snowflake got away from the first wave, so they're probably distracted enough not to figure on him running right to me.
But that doesn't mean it's gonna stay that way.
"Dude, come on, inside." You too, Snowflakey One. Only 'cause I have to. I looked over at Crazy Lesbian Chick, heading back inside. Dude, trigger happy shit needs to go.
"She showed up here to wait for you. And she decided to stick around. In case you guys showed up here."
That was almost civil of him. The irritation in his voice is still there, but he didn't slam me on the summary. Not bad for a guy like him. I'm almost impressed.
Less impressive is his buddy in the bowling shirt, and my ex-girlfriend. Jesus Christ, they didn't think to pack a bag while they were on the run from our teams?
I could have done a lot better with Carly than Sam did on this, that goes without fucking saying.
"So what happened, dude?"
"We worked out our differences."
Translation: she fucked him and now he thinks its all better. Men. They think sex is the solution to everything.
You might think he would have a better understanding of all of this right now, but he clearly doesn't. The guy is like a dog who just got a biscuit for good behavior. I don't know how Carly lives with it.
...And seeing that expression on her face, I don't know how long she's going to be sticking with it after this. She's doubting something, that much I know for sure.
"... Cool."
Either he caught it too, or the guy thinks we have someone in the bushes waiting to kill him. I always think of the better plans after. I think something might be wrong with me.
"Dude, come on, inside."
"Maybe your Mom can make them some coffee."
I can't help myself. Madsen is...whatever. He didn't kill me for showing up, and that was actually, well, nice of him, but the fact of the matter is that he shares a house with his mother and has a questionable gig. And I think part of the reason why he's so comfortable with it is because he needs a woman to take care of him.
Which I can't explain at all. The guy's armed.
"Lower the gun, dude, let's go."
"Joykill." I rolled my eyes and lowered the gun. "And I'm not a dude."
Sam's the dude. I'm the bitch that could kick both of their asses and not feel all that bad about it if Carly let me.
Although at this rate, I have to admit that I might feel a little guilty for killing Madsen. Some people are more desperate for friends than others. Its not always a crime that you suffer the penalty of death for. Generally speaking it should be, but the guy is pathetic enough on his own without being killed for hanging around in the wrong social circles.
And Carly says I'm not sympathetic enough. We need to have a little talk about this if she gets through the day.
He told Lauren about his mother being there? Willingly? Usually it's pulling teeth to get him to tell anyone, what the hell did she do to him?
I swear to God, if the female Hannibal Lecter broke my best friend on top of everything else that's going on right now, I will figure out a way somehow to get her back for it. It'd be a long time coming for all the crap she gives me.
Carly might agree to letting me do it. If I give her something in return. Something that's, y'know, not Madsen's life.
... I'd figure it out.
"Lower the gun, dude, let's go."
"Joykill."
Is it just me, or is them getting along getting more and more creepy to look at?
"And I'm not a dude."
And that was a hell of a lot less abrasive than what I usually hear out of her. Unless I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. It'd be kind of nice to be wrong about this, I could definitely live with it.
I looked at Carly, and when I wasn't seeing any answers on how they were acting in how she was looking at me, gave up.
I sighed and followed Madsen inside, and couldn't help glancing over my shoulder before I went inside. It'll be a while before they come after us, but I still feel a little tense.
Days like this will do that to you.
"So what'd you do?"
"We got out. The house is wrecked. What's the deal?"
"Dude, they're pissed, what else would be the deal? Nobody knows that you two are sticking together yet. And I'm sure after whatever you guys just pulled, they're going to be even more into tracking you."
"So they're working together on this, or they're trying to handle it individually?"
And then I noticed what I should have noticed when I looked at Carly before. She looks off. Like something's wrong. I mean, something's wrong, but there's something else.
"Don't know, dude, but I seriously wouldn't be surprised if they decided to work together on this. Would you?"
I didn't bother saying anything, since the question was to Lauren, I just settled on trying to figure out why Carly was looking like that for.
I'd guess and what's going through her head, but I think considering the last couple of years, I'd rather know for sure. Just because second guessing each other hasn't gotten us very far.
"Dude, they're pissed, what else would be the deal? Nobody knows that you two are sticking together yet. And I'm sure after whatever you guys just pulled, they're going to be even more into tracking you."
Exactly. Now they're going to throw twice as much shit at us because we look like a threat to them. First and foremost, they want us dead. If they can't have dead, then they want us separated. They've seen what we can do together, and they probably wouldn't be opposed to losing the amount of men that they will when they take us out because then we'll be made an example of. The attachments clause is going to come back and kick us in the ass.
And maybe Sam hasn't thought about this yet, but we're going to be looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives. If we stay together, they won't stop coming at us until we're dead. Trying to find two people is a lot easier than trying to find one. At least if we separated we could get new identities and start over with other agencies.
I would have to go blonde, but I'd be a living one.
Sam is my weakness. He always has been, and he always will be. I'm pretty sure that he would say the same about me again, too. I just don't think that's anything to be proud of if it means that we're going to get each other killed. If Sam was with me, and something happened to him, then...I don't think this is a good idea.
"So they're working together on this, or they're trying to handle it individually?"
"Don't know, dude, but I seriously wouldn't be surprised if they decided to work together on this. Would you?"
"No. I can almost guarantee you that there are about two hundred people being briefed on this as we speak--with more being contacted by the minute."
I would have guessed three hundred. I'm surprised that Sam is even bothering to question it. He knows as well as I do that they're going to put as many people in the field on this as they can. The only reason why he isn't saying much of anything is because he doesn't want to admit how screwed we are.
"You okay?"
"No." I sighed and sat down on the couch, then immediately wished I hadn't. Who knows what the hell could be growing in this thing. "Are you?"
Maybe he'll realize what we're getting ourselves into if he stops and thinks about it for a minute. I don't know. He might not see anything wrong with this at all. Lauren doesn't seem to know what I'm talking about, I can see Sam deciding that I mean something else. And if he doesn't get it, I don't know how to tell him.
"No. I can almost guarantee you that there are about two hundred people being briefed on this as we speak--with more being contacted by the minute."
"Probably more."
It's a totally serious deal, but I look at Sammy, and I don't see him freaking too much. Which I think is 'cause he thinks as long as he has The Snowflake, it's all cool, and they're going to make it out.
Which, dude, I know I'm not the only one thinking that kind of shit is usually reserved for the movies.
Sammy can usually be realistic pretty fast, but The Snowflake's got his mind clouded now, or something. You can even see him totally mentally dropping everything now because she looks off.
Like he doesn't know why.
"You okay?"
"No."
At least she's honest.
"Are you?"
He thinks he's going to be, I know that much. And I also know if she ditches him, he's dead. I'll totally do everything I can to help him, I'm supposed to, I'm his best friend.
But he will totally just... Unless he manages to shut down like I think she will, dude, he is just... So dead.
"This isn't the best day I've ever had, but I'm alive."
Classic Sammy.
"Dude, you need to get on thinking about what you guys are going to do."
Like... Soon.
"Right now, I'm sort of playing everything out as it's dealt Madsen, it's not like we were trained for this."
"I know, Sammy, but you two have to get your shit together." And everybody looks at me like I'm the dumb one all the time. "You're going to have some serious issues in the near future if you don't."
I should find out where everything is right now. I don't know how much they're going to tell me, considering my connection to Sammy, but if there's anything to find I should get it.
"I know."
"Then start thinking, dude. I really don't want to see you dead." And then I looked at The Snowflake. "... And just because it wouldn't be a cool thing for him... You too."
But only because it wouldn't be a cool thing for him. I know Crazy Lesbian Chick Lauren would put Sammy in the ground as fast as possible if she had her way. I'm not that bad.
... Not totally that bad.
"And while you're doing that, I'm going to call people and see what's up, okay?"
"Okay."
Dude, I know that look.
I'm walking out of the room so I don't have to look at that look.
That's the total 'light dawns on marble head' sorta 'oh, maybe things aren't as cool as I thought they might be' kinda look.
Totally don't want to stick around for what's coming next.
"Then start thinking, dude. I really don't want to see you dead.... And just because it wouldn't be a cool thing for him... You too."
That is one extremely high fucking road that Madsen is trying to take with her. I wonder if he knows that she's wearing a look pretty similar to the one she had on when she broke up with me. Carly may be a lot of things, but sometimes, she's just obvious.
But who could fault her for that? She married the enemy. All of her coworkers are going to come after her and try to take her out. Its kill or be killed now that they've caught her with Sam. And he has finally succeeded in ruining Carly's professional career.
Just like I said he would. Though I have to say, I thought this would end with a baby, not a bullet.
"And while you're doing that, I'm going to call people and see what's up, okay?"
"Okay."
This is pathetic on a level that's funny as hell, but Carly looks like she wants me to get out of here so...I'll stare at him for a second while I commit it to memory, and then find something to do.
"I'll help." Oh come on, don't look at me like that. "I don't want to be in here for this."
She's going to let him down easy. I know her better than to think that she would do anything else. Carly's hoping for minimal damage. A nice, clean break. They might not even be able to get a divorce if they're going to make a run for it. Changing their names will have to suffice.
I wonder if I could talk her into 'Madonna' this time.
I'm not the only one who's noticing that there's clearly something wrong here. Ontop of what Madsen just did, which is incredibly freakin' unlike him, I haven't seen Lauren look this smug in ages.
And I'm thinking my guess as far as what's wrong was right after all.
So... I'm in trouble here. A lot of trouble.
I don't know what to do about that.
I looked at Carly for a long minute, reading some things in how she looked that I really didn't like. And it worried me. More than worried me, it actually scared me a little.
Doing this without her... I can't even picture it. At all. I don't know where I'd go, what I'd do, how the hell I'd keep from getting killed on my own, any of it.
I just don't know.
"I'll help."
She's just saying that because Carly wants her to go. Which... I'm really thankful for.
"I don't want to be in here for this."
How nice of you.
I waited until Madsen and Lauren got out of the room, and sat down on the couch, thinking. I felt like an idiot in the damn clothes I was wearing, but I'll wait a couple of minutes before I ask Madsen for a loan to last me until I can get something better.
Besides, I might just stick around here for a little while longer than I thought if my wife's going to leave me.
"So."
I wonder how this is supposed to work.
If she goes, I guess I'll run. I don't know what else to do. I'll have to change my name, get a different look I won't want to kill myself for, and start over again completely.
A new life altogether. After everything we've been through already, knowing full well that we still love each other, I'd go my way and she'd go hers. And you can't really come back from that once it's done, can you?
...
I can't do it.
I definitely don't know how.
"... Y'know, you had one hell of a right hook." I smiled, just enough, which was genuine. Anything else would have been completely fake by now. "I forgot to say something about that back at the house." That one that's in ruin right now.
I can't believe she's even considering leaving me.
I laughed, but it sounded on the weak side, and I sat up to try and act like it was going to be okay. "And some of that other stuff wasn't bad. Where'd you pick all that up?"
It won't be if she goes, but I'll say this now, I think it would be if she stayed. I think we could make a go of it, and I think it would work out.
Thanks, Lauren. Make the unnecessary statement before you sneak off to listen in on the other side of the wall. Really, be a wise ass while my marriage is falling apart. It can't get much worse than this anyway. If we were dead, it would be over.
I don't want to die, but its true. If we had slept right through the bomb, we would be the assassins equivalent of Romeo and Juliet. And Madsen would be disappointed to lose his best friend, but he would still get to say that he called it when we were in high school.
We thought he was crazy back then, yet look where we are now.
"So."
...I don't think Sam and I have ever really been married. I mean, I know I love him. I know he loves me. Its just, there's more to it than that. We never communicated honestly, never went and did anything that we said we were going to do. Most of the things we did as a couple I hated, so I know there was no truth to any of that. This whole time, all these years, we've been lacking in follow through.
And that's a shame, because now its just too late.
"... Y'know, you had one hell of a right hook. I forgot to say something about that back at the house."
That's because we were busy trying to fight off the people who were trying to kill us, remember? The house is already gone, so unless we do something, we're next. And I know what he might be thinking, but we're too outnumbered for that.
I don't think we should be bothering. Everything was a lie. From both sides. There's no getting past that. Sam knows how I hold grudges. Its all he would hear for the rest of his life, however long or short it turned out to be.
"And some of that other stuff wasn't bad. Where'd you pick all that up?"
"Sam." Come on, stop making this worse. "We have to talk." He knows we do.
"I love you, but I think..." Don't look at me like that! "I think if we stayed together now we would be making a mistake."
I know we've made a lot of those, but its different now.
... I guess I can't avoid it anymore. Come on Carly, if you're leaving me, at least give me a couple of minutes of meaningless conversation.
"We have to talk."
Or not.
Christ, I really don't want to do this. And I can feel Madsen trying not to listen in the other room while he's on the phone. But I can't hear either one of them getting close to the door, so I guess they really are repsecting the situation.
Or maybe they just know we'll hear it if they decide to listen in.
I really don't want to talk right now.
"I love you, but I think..."
Oh God, isn't this subtle.
"I think if we stayed together now we would be making a mistake."
And there it is.
So what do I say? She's most of the way to making up her mind, I can see it. I can see her convincing herself that she's making the right choice.
I, of course, think she's wrong. Really wrong. I think we did fine getting out of the house today, and we could do fine after this. We're a good team. We fit. It's how it's supposed to be.
Sure, we screwed up before, and we've got some things to work out.
But so what? We just give up?
"Carly..."
Please.
"I don't see the benefit of splitting up." I really don't. And I'm going to try and handle this from the less emotional standpoint, because... I don't know. I go the other way, I'm going to freak the hell out.
"Look, back there, we covered for each other, and we did freakin' great. And it's not like we weren't outnumbered."
Right?
"We could be a hell of a lot better of a team than we would be apart. What happened before doesn't mean anything because it wasn't real."
She's not agreeing with any of this. And she's not budging. I'm not winning here. God damn it.
"... Look, we both screwed up, but not killing each other back there means something. And you just said you love me. And I know I love you." So much for not going the more emotional route. "It'll be rough, I'm not saying it won't be, but we could make it work."
And I want to. I really do.
"And don't tell me you wouldn't regret walking away every day of your life if you did it."
It isn't like I don't have experience on this freakin' subject. I know what it's like. I know what it's going to be like if we try to get out on our own.
Maybe she thinks that's simpler, but I don't see it. As far as I know, it really just gets worse as you go along.
"We could watch out for each other. It's better than being alone."
"And don't tell me you wouldn't regret walking away every day of your life if you did it."
I wouldn't regret it if he survived. The way things are now, if we stick together neither one of us is going to make it. At least if we go our separate ways the odds won't be against us so much. Sam's right, we did great back there. We took them all out.
Now that they know what we're capable of, they're just going to try harder. More manpower, bigger bombs, whatever it takes to get the job done. That's how I was trained, and I'm willing to bet its how Sam was trained too.
I know it would be hard to move past this on our own, but I think we could. I would miss Sam, but at least I would know that I did the right thing. Staying with him would be selfish, and it would get him hurt.
I think I've hurt him enough for one lifetime with all this crap, I really do.
"We could watch out for each other. It's better than being alone."
"Do you really want to watch them put a bullet in me, Sam? That's what you would be watching out for. And that's what would happen."
I don't even care if I'm the one who draws the short straw, I just don't want it to be Sam. Forget the argument that I would regret leaving him, I would regret staying a hell of a lot more if I turned out to be right about this.
I can handle being alone, I've done it before. When Sam left, I managed for years. What I can't handle is being responsible for his death because I didn't have the common sense to run like I fucking should have.
"Its never going to stop until that happens. So is that the life you want? The two of us looking over our shoulders until one of them has a good day?"
Any one on the team knows that killing us would be like winning the lottery. And I'm sure the price on our heads just went up, so we're becoming more and more popular by the minute.
"Its like I said. I love you, but I refuse to die for you."
That was a lie, but maybe if I get him mad enough he won't realize that more than anything else I'm afraid of him dying for me. Its all about getting him to the right angry place before he can do anything about it.
"Do you really want to watch them put a bullet in me, Sam? That's what you would be watching out for. And that's what would happen."
"You don't know that."
For all we know, it could be me. And that's not even the point. She doesn't know for sure that's what's going to happen to us. She's assuming the worst because it looks bad.
Usually, that's my job. I assume it's all going to go to hell, and I bolt before anything could happen.
So if I'm the one who thinks we can make it for once, shouldn't that say something too?
"Its never going to stop until that happens. So is that the life you want? The two of us looking over our shoulders until one of them has a good day?"
"Wouldn't we be looking over our shoulders no matter what we did?" There's that, too. What difference does it really make? At least, if we're together, we won't be miserable in the process.
But they won't stop looking for us just because we split up. And we might do a good job of disappearing, but one of them could still wind up having a 'good day'.
"They'd still be coming for us, Carly, no matter what we wind up doing."
"Its like I said. I love you, but I refuse to die for you."
...
I stared at her, not saying anything, and for a second I almost completely bought it. And even when I started telling myself it's bullshit, a part of me still grabbed onto it.
"... You..."
I shook my head, sighing. "That's bullshit." I hope.
"... And even if it was true, you wouldn't be dying for me. They're still coming for us. No matter what we do, no matter how we do it, alone or together."
I'd like to see her start arguing with that.
"Our chances are still shit no matter what, and the likelihood that we're going to wind up dead is still there no matter what, and all this is going to do is make us fucking miserable."
I can't believe she thinks anythinge else. It doesn't make any sense. At all.
He took a leap form wanting me out of the house to leaving me alone in here, didn't he? I have to admire the logic on that one, really. There's so much of it that isn't there.
I feel a little guilty. Every time Carly complained about Madsen, I assumed she was exagerating to get the kind of attention that she wasn't getting at home. People like Madsen, as a general rule, are not believed to exist. Now, I see that not only does he exist, he's just as bad as she said he was. Maybe worse as far as having an actual IQ and brain functions go. Carly didn't care much about him being stupid, she was more concerned with how annoying he was.
I'm thinking there are equal levels of both with this jackass.
What is he checking, anyway?
And he's back. Back, and suspicious. He's wondering if I slipped a bomb under the couch cushions, isn't he?
That's a little tackier than I prefer to be. Not all of us are dumb enough to have our town of residence listed on MySpace. Some assassins still enjoy being professional, and I consider myself one of them.
"My Mom's here."
"Are you serious?"
"Shut up, okay? It's not like that, my Dad died and I let her stay here for a while."
"And how many years has it been since she started staying here?"
I can't help but ask. A grown man living with his mother is something you don't see every day if you can help it. The fact that Sam's best friend does says a lot about where Carly's husband would be if she'd rejected him in the beginning like I told her to.
People should listen to me as often as possible. It would avoid so much violence.
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Dude, it has not been years! I am not that sort of dude!
"She's been here a few weeks."
I am so not cool with this conversation, but if I back out of answering, she'll totally give me shit for it. I hate this chick. And I do not need to be judged just because my Mom's here. She's having a rough time because Dad's dead.
Sure, she can't stay here forever, because it totally would not work for either me or her. So I'll get her out.
Eventually. When it's cool. Or when I can get Erin to take care of her.
"I'm working out getting my sister to handle her soon." So you totally can stop judging now, Amazon chick.
If Sammy's going to show with The Snowflake, he needs to get here soon. Because dude, there is only so much of this shit that I can take. It's so uncool.
"But she's been having it rough, so I let her stay for a little bit." I checked out the window to see if anyone was coming, and then thought about whether or not Sammy would have his cell on him.
Dude, wait, no he wouldn't. They'd track him by that. There's totally no way to contact him. The only way I'm gonna hear one way or the other is if they get him, and that's the thing I don't want. So I'm totally stuck waiting here with Lauren the lesbian Amazon chick.
The same one who hates guys because she likes girls. Which means she's totally going to keep driving me nuts.
Why didn't I just shoot this chick at the door? Seriously?
Dude, this sucks.
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So far. And I bet she's gotten extremely comfortable here in those few weeks, hasn't she? I bet her son's house is finally starting to feel like home to her. What's he going to do now that she's settled in, kick her out?
He's trapped. Unless he wants to win an award for being the worst little son on the face of the planet, Madsen is going to be stuck with his mother for a while. Possibly for the rest of his life. I can't be sure because I don't know the woman, but I know how mothers work. They can set off the guilt mechanism like no fucking other.
After all, they brought you into this world.
I just tell mine that I could take her out of it. No offense to Mom, but the favor of existence isn't the end all be all guilt trip that most people make it out to be. We're all here because our parents decided to brave the nine months of hell. Its no more special that my mom did it than it is that anyone else's did.
"I'm working out getting my sister to handle her soon."
But I bet his sister has a lot going on in her life, and is trying to get things together, ect, ect. She probably has no intention of 'handling' anything, she just wants Madsen to keep their mother around long enough for her to get too comfortable to leave. And Madsen, being too dense to pick up on this, thinks that she actually plans on handling the responsibilty of living with her mother.
They're really going to work that out well.
"But she's been having it rough, so I let her stay for a little bit."
"That's nice, but you're not getting rid of her anytime soon."
The sooner he understands that, the easier it will be for him to accept it in the long run. Maybe he'll even grow a set and tell her to move out, I doubt it, but its always possible.
But unless he does that, she's not going anywhere.
"...Was that a car?"
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"Me then you." I looked at the dry cleaning in the back of the van that Carly had just started going through, and shrugged at her. "Whatever works." Because I doubt Madsen has something for us to wear in there.
Might check once we get inside, but I really doubt it.
I grabbed a bowling shirt, and a pair of pants, and got those on, then got out of the van.
And exactly three seconds later, someone walked out of the house. Someone definitely not Madsen, because they were blonde, female, and definitely not my best friend.
Shit, what the hell is Lauren doing here?!
"Whoa, hang on a second." I put both my hands up just enough for her to see them, and didn't move. "She's in the van, she's getting dressed. She'll be out in a second."
And Madsen came out just behind Lauren.
"Sammy, dude, took you long enough getting here."
"We got a little held up." He looks a lot less annoyed with Lauren standing next to him than he should be. This is freakin' disturbing. They were both waiting for us in the same place without killing each other? For how long?
Well, Madsen was probably waiting for us, Lauren was most likely waiting to see whether or not Carly had killed me after all.
I sighed and looked over at the van, and called to my wife, who was taking a little too freakin' long. "Carly? Can you get out here? Looks like Madsen's not alone."
Tell your ex to stop looking at me like she's deciding which part to put a bullet in first, please.
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"If you say so."
Sam can take the blame if I die. I think that'll bug him now, so I want him to have it. If anything happens to me and Madsen finally takes my life, I want Sam to feel guilty for the rest of his because he was dumb enough to insist that we come here instead of going off on our own and making a plan.
Or just going off on our own, period. I don't know why Sam hasn't brought that up yet. You would think it might have crossed his mind by now, but if it has, he isn't saying anything about it, so I guess I'm not either.
But this is going to get uglier than a blown up house, and when it does, I think we should both remember that we have that to fall back on. We've survived this much, but they're going to come at us twice as hard if they think we're together again.
And last I checked, we are.
God damnit, why did it have to be bowling? I know our neighbors are dull, that was supposed to be the whole point, but bowling?
I hate them. So much.
"Whatever works."
I think I like being half naked better, but I'll go with it.
I took off Sam's shirt and slipped on the fucking bowling one, and then the pants that went along with it. I'm more petite than the kind of woman this outfit was made for, but I don't have a choice, so whatever.
I don't care what Madsen thinks of how I look anyway.
I moved so that Sam had room to get out, and sat down, trying to smooth my hair over for the hell of it. I hate being a sloppy killer, its never been who I am.
I do my job with class. Not with messy hair, and bowling shirts, not sore from a night of sex and violence...
But I'm willing to change that last part. If we can find a way out of this.
...Is that Lauren?
Shit, what's she doing here?
"Carly? Can you get out here? Looks like Madsen's not alone."
I noticed. Lauren's here.
This is ridiculous. She's going to shoot somebody. I'm surprised she hasn't already. Maybe she took care of Madsen's mom for him or someth--no, she looks too tense to have done that. I know her itchy trigger finger look, and that's it.
I buttoned one more button on my shirt and climbed out of the van, going over to Sam and standing beside him.
No, he's not holding me hostage, Lauren. We happen to be trying to work this out.
"What made the two of you decide to wait for us together?"
Please don't say its because you decided to split the money for us. That's the last thing I need right now.
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So what's with the get ups?
"Carly? Can you get out here? Looks like Madsen's not alone."
"Yeah, sorry dude."
Amazon chick needs to lower the gun. I'm not waiting for Snowflake to get out here so I can shoot her, she needs to show a little respect. Totally not asking too much, since I've already had her in my house infecting the place with her Amazonyness.
Not pointing the gun at my best friend? Totally a small thing, since he's not pointing any guns at her. Infecting my place with the Amazonyness? Totally a huge thing.
Oh look, here's the Snowflake. In the same kind of outfit.
"Dude, what's with the clothes?"
"Don't ask."
"What made the two of you decide to wait for us together?"
"She showed up here to wait for you," I nodded over to Lauren. "And she decided to stick around," And infect. "In case you guys showed up here." Which, they did.
"So what happened, dude?"
"We worked out our differences."
He totally looks a little too happy with how he's saying that. Sammy got laid. And I only think that's good 'cause it means he's still standing, instead of playing Kill or Be Killed with the Snowflake.
By the way, once again, totally called how much of a bad idea she really turned out to be.
"... Cool." I looked around. They're probably still cleaning up what has to be a total mess from however Sammy and the Snowflake got away from the first wave, so they're probably distracted enough not to figure on him running right to me.
But that doesn't mean it's gonna stay that way.
"Dude, come on, inside." You too, Snowflakey One. Only 'cause I have to. I looked over at Crazy Lesbian Chick, heading back inside. Dude, trigger happy shit needs to go.
"Lower the gun, dude, let's go."
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That was almost civil of him. The irritation in his voice is still there, but he didn't slam me on the summary. Not bad for a guy like him. I'm almost impressed.
Less impressive is his buddy in the bowling shirt, and my ex-girlfriend. Jesus Christ, they didn't think to pack a bag while they were on the run from our teams?
I could have done a lot better with Carly than Sam did on this, that goes without fucking saying.
"So what happened, dude?"
"We worked out our differences."
Translation: she fucked him and now he thinks its all better. Men. They think sex is the solution to everything.
You might think he would have a better understanding of all of this right now, but he clearly doesn't. The guy is like a dog who just got a biscuit for good behavior. I don't know how Carly lives with it.
...And seeing that expression on her face, I don't know how long she's going to be sticking with it after this. She's doubting something, that much I know for sure.
"... Cool."
Either he caught it too, or the guy thinks we have someone in the bushes waiting to kill him. I always think of the better plans after. I think something might be wrong with me.
"Dude, come on, inside."
"Maybe your Mom can make them some coffee."
I can't help myself. Madsen is...whatever. He didn't kill me for showing up, and that was actually, well, nice of him, but the fact of the matter is that he shares a house with his mother and has a questionable gig. And I think part of the reason why he's so comfortable with it is because he needs a woman to take care of him.
Which I can't explain at all. The guy's armed.
"Lower the gun, dude, let's go."
"Joykill." I rolled my eyes and lowered the gun. "And I'm not a dude."
Sam's the dude. I'm the bitch that could kick both of their asses and not feel all that bad about it if Carly let me.
Although at this rate, I have to admit that I might feel a little guilty for killing Madsen. Some people are more desperate for friends than others. Its not always a crime that you suffer the penalty of death for. Generally speaking it should be, but the guy is pathetic enough on his own without being killed for hanging around in the wrong social circles.
And Carly says I'm not sympathetic enough. We need to have a little talk about this if she gets through the day.
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"Maybe your Mom can make them some coffee."
...
He told Lauren about his mother being there? Willingly? Usually it's pulling teeth to get him to tell anyone, what the hell did she do to him?
I swear to God, if the female Hannibal Lecter broke my best friend on top of everything else that's going on right now, I will figure out a way somehow to get her back for it. It'd be a long time coming for all the crap she gives me.
Carly might agree to letting me do it. If I give her something in return. Something that's, y'know, not Madsen's life.
... I'd figure it out.
"Lower the gun, dude, let's go."
"Joykill."
Is it just me, or is them getting along getting more and more creepy to look at?
"And I'm not a dude."
And that was a hell of a lot less abrasive than what I usually hear out of her. Unless I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. It'd be kind of nice to be wrong about this, I could definitely live with it.
I looked at Carly, and when I wasn't seeing any answers on how they were acting in how she was looking at me, gave up.
I sighed and followed Madsen inside, and couldn't help glancing over my shoulder before I went inside. It'll be a while before they come after us, but I still feel a little tense.
Days like this will do that to you.
"So what'd you do?"
"We got out. The house is wrecked. What's the deal?"
"Dude, they're pissed, what else would be the deal? Nobody knows that you two are sticking together yet. And I'm sure after whatever you guys just pulled, they're going to be even more into tracking you."
"So they're working together on this, or they're trying to handle it individually?"
And then I noticed what I should have noticed when I looked at Carly before. She looks off. Like something's wrong. I mean, something's wrong, but there's something else.
"Don't know, dude, but I seriously wouldn't be surprised if they decided to work together on this. Would you?"
I didn't bother saying anything, since the question was to Lauren, I just settled on trying to figure out why Carly was looking like that for.
I'd guess and what's going through her head, but I think considering the last couple of years, I'd rather know for sure. Just because second guessing each other hasn't gotten us very far.
Still, if I guessed...
No, forget it. Because it's not that.
"You okay?"
I'll worry about the rest in a minute.
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Exactly. Now they're going to throw twice as much shit at us because we look like a threat to them. First and foremost, they want us dead. If they can't have dead, then they want us separated. They've seen what we can do together, and they probably wouldn't be opposed to losing the amount of men that they will when they take us out because then we'll be made an example of. The attachments clause is going to come back and kick us in the ass.
And maybe Sam hasn't thought about this yet, but we're going to be looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives. If we stay together, they won't stop coming at us until we're dead. Trying to find two people is a lot easier than trying to find one. At least if we separated we could get new identities and start over with other agencies.
I would have to go blonde, but I'd be a living one.
Sam is my weakness. He always has been, and he always will be. I'm pretty sure that he would say the same about me again, too. I just don't think that's anything to be proud of if it means that we're going to get each other killed. If Sam was with me, and something happened to him, then...I don't think this is a good idea.
"So they're working together on this, or they're trying to handle it individually?"
"Don't know, dude, but I seriously wouldn't be surprised if they decided to work together on this. Would you?"
"No. I can almost guarantee you that there are about two hundred people being briefed on this as we speak--with more being contacted by the minute."
I would have guessed three hundred. I'm surprised that Sam is even bothering to question it. He knows as well as I do that they're going to put as many people in the field on this as they can. The only reason why he isn't saying much of anything is because he doesn't want to admit how screwed we are.
"You okay?"
"No." I sighed and sat down on the couch, then immediately wished I hadn't. Who knows what the hell could be growing in this thing. "Are you?"
Maybe he'll realize what we're getting ourselves into if he stops and thinks about it for a minute. I don't know. He might not see anything wrong with this at all. Lauren doesn't seem to know what I'm talking about, I can see Sam deciding that I mean something else. And if he doesn't get it, I don't know how to tell him.
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"Probably more."
It's a totally serious deal, but I look at Sammy, and I don't see him freaking too much. Which I think is 'cause he thinks as long as he has The Snowflake, it's all cool, and they're going to make it out.
Which, dude, I know I'm not the only one thinking that kind of shit is usually reserved for the movies.
Sammy can usually be realistic pretty fast, but The Snowflake's got his mind clouded now, or something. You can even see him totally mentally dropping everything now because she looks off.
Like he doesn't know why.
"You okay?"
"No."
At least she's honest.
"Are you?"
He thinks he's going to be, I know that much. And I also know if she ditches him, he's dead. I'll totally do everything I can to help him, I'm supposed to, I'm his best friend.
But he will totally just... Unless he manages to shut down like I think she will, dude, he is just... So dead.
"This isn't the best day I've ever had, but I'm alive."
Classic Sammy.
"Dude, you need to get on thinking about what you guys are going to do."
Like... Soon.
"Right now, I'm sort of playing everything out as it's dealt Madsen, it's not like we were trained for this."
"I know, Sammy, but you two have to get your shit together." And everybody looks at me like I'm the dumb one all the time. "You're going to have some serious issues in the near future if you don't."
I should find out where everything is right now. I don't know how much they're going to tell me, considering my connection to Sammy, but if there's anything to find I should get it.
"I know."
"Then start thinking, dude. I really don't want to see you dead." And then I looked at The Snowflake. "... And just because it wouldn't be a cool thing for him... You too."
But only because it wouldn't be a cool thing for him. I know Crazy Lesbian Chick Lauren would put Sammy in the ground as fast as possible if she had her way. I'm not that bad.
... Not totally that bad.
"And while you're doing that, I'm going to call people and see what's up, okay?"
"Okay."
Dude, I know that look.
I'm walking out of the room so I don't have to look at that look.
That's the total 'light dawns on marble head' sorta 'oh, maybe things aren't as cool as I thought they might be' kinda look.
Totally don't want to stick around for what's coming next.
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That is one extremely high fucking road that Madsen is trying to take with her. I wonder if he knows that she's wearing a look pretty similar to the one she had on when she broke up with me. Carly may be a lot of things, but sometimes, she's just obvious.
But who could fault her for that? She married the enemy. All of her coworkers are going to come after her and try to take her out. Its kill or be killed now that they've caught her with Sam. And he has finally succeeded in ruining Carly's professional career.
Just like I said he would. Though I have to say, I thought this would end with a baby, not a bullet.
"And while you're doing that, I'm going to call people and see what's up, okay?"
"Okay."
This is pathetic on a level that's funny as hell, but Carly looks like she wants me to get out of here so...I'll stare at him for a second while I commit it to memory, and then find something to do.
"I'll help." Oh come on, don't look at me like that. "I don't want to be in here for this."
She's going to let him down easy. I know her better than to think that she would do anything else. Carly's hoping for minimal damage. A nice, clean break. They might not even be able to get a divorce if they're going to make a run for it. Changing their names will have to suffice.
I wonder if I could talk her into 'Madonna' this time.
It would be funny.
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And I'm thinking my guess as far as what's wrong was right after all.
So... I'm in trouble here. A lot of trouble.
I don't know what to do about that.
I looked at Carly for a long minute, reading some things in how she looked that I really didn't like. And it worried me. More than worried me, it actually scared me a little.
Doing this without her... I can't even picture it. At all. I don't know where I'd go, what I'd do, how the hell I'd keep from getting killed on my own, any of it.
I just don't know.
"I'll help."
She's just saying that because Carly wants her to go. Which... I'm really thankful for.
"I don't want to be in here for this."
How nice of you.
I waited until Madsen and Lauren got out of the room, and sat down on the couch, thinking. I felt like an idiot in the damn clothes I was wearing, but I'll wait a couple of minutes before I ask Madsen for a loan to last me until I can get something better.
Besides, I might just stick around here for a little while longer than I thought if my wife's going to leave me.
"So."
I wonder how this is supposed to work.
If she goes, I guess I'll run. I don't know what else to do. I'll have to change my name, get a different look I won't want to kill myself for, and start over again completely.
A new life altogether. After everything we've been through already, knowing full well that we still love each other, I'd go my way and she'd go hers. And you can't really come back from that once it's done, can you?
...
I can't do it.
I definitely don't know how.
"... Y'know, you had one hell of a right hook." I smiled, just enough, which was genuine. Anything else would have been completely fake by now. "I forgot to say something about that back at the house." That one that's in ruin right now.
I can't believe she's even considering leaving me.
I laughed, but it sounded on the weak side, and I sat up to try and act like it was going to be okay. "And some of that other stuff wasn't bad. Where'd you pick all that up?"
It won't be if she goes, but I'll say this now, I think it would be if she stayed. I think we could make a go of it, and I think it would work out.
She has to want to, though.
... Maybe I should stop avoiding this.
...
Not just yet.
A little while longer can't hurt.
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Thanks, Lauren. Make the unnecessary statement before you sneak off to listen in on the other side of the wall. Really, be a wise ass while my marriage is falling apart. It can't get much worse than this anyway. If we were dead, it would be over.
I don't want to die, but its true. If we had slept right through the bomb, we would be the assassins equivalent of Romeo and Juliet. And Madsen would be disappointed to lose his best friend, but he would still get to say that he called it when we were in high school.
We thought he was crazy back then, yet look where we are now.
"So."
...I don't think Sam and I have ever really been married. I mean, I know I love him. I know he loves me. Its just, there's more to it than that. We never communicated honestly, never went and did anything that we said we were going to do. Most of the things we did as a couple I hated, so I know there was no truth to any of that. This whole time, all these years, we've been lacking in follow through.
And that's a shame, because now its just too late.
"... Y'know, you had one hell of a right hook. I forgot to say something about that back at the house."
That's because we were busy trying to fight off the people who were trying to kill us, remember? The house is already gone, so unless we do something, we're next. And I know what he might be thinking, but we're too outnumbered for that.
I don't think we should be bothering. Everything was a lie. From both sides. There's no getting past that. Sam knows how I hold grudges. Its all he would hear for the rest of his life, however long or short it turned out to be.
"And some of that other stuff wasn't bad. Where'd you pick all that up?"
"Sam." Come on, stop making this worse. "We have to talk." He knows we do.
"I love you, but I think..." Don't look at me like that! "I think if we stayed together now we would be making a mistake."
I know we've made a lot of those, but its different now.
Don't ask me how, it just is.
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... I guess I can't avoid it anymore. Come on Carly, if you're leaving me, at least give me a couple of minutes of meaningless conversation.
"We have to talk."
Or not.
Christ, I really don't want to do this. And I can feel Madsen trying not to listen in the other room while he's on the phone. But I can't hear either one of them getting close to the door, so I guess they really are repsecting the situation.
Or maybe they just know we'll hear it if they decide to listen in.
I really don't want to talk right now.
"I love you, but I think..."
Oh God, isn't this subtle.
"I think if we stayed together now we would be making a mistake."
And there it is.
So what do I say? She's most of the way to making up her mind, I can see it. I can see her convincing herself that she's making the right choice.
I, of course, think she's wrong. Really wrong. I think we did fine getting out of the house today, and we could do fine after this. We're a good team. We fit. It's how it's supposed to be.
Sure, we screwed up before, and we've got some things to work out.
But so what? We just give up?
"Carly..."
Please.
"I don't see the benefit of splitting up." I really don't. And I'm going to try and handle this from the less emotional standpoint, because... I don't know. I go the other way, I'm going to freak the hell out.
"Look, back there, we covered for each other, and we did freakin' great. And it's not like we weren't outnumbered."
Right?
"We could be a hell of a lot better of a team than we would be apart. What happened before doesn't mean anything because it wasn't real."
She's not agreeing with any of this. And she's not budging. I'm not winning here. God damn it.
"... Look, we both screwed up, but not killing each other back there means something. And you just said you love me. And I know I love you." So much for not going the more emotional route. "It'll be rough, I'm not saying it won't be, but we could make it work."
And I want to. I really do.
"And don't tell me you wouldn't regret walking away every day of your life if you did it."
It isn't like I don't have experience on this freakin' subject. I know what it's like. I know what it's going to be like if we try to get out on our own.
Maybe she thinks that's simpler, but I don't see it. As far as I know, it really just gets worse as you go along.
"We could watch out for each other. It's better than being alone."
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I wouldn't regret it if he survived. The way things are now, if we stick together neither one of us is going to make it. At least if we go our separate ways the odds won't be against us so much. Sam's right, we did great back there. We took them all out.
Now that they know what we're capable of, they're just going to try harder. More manpower, bigger bombs, whatever it takes to get the job done. That's how I was trained, and I'm willing to bet its how Sam was trained too.
I know it would be hard to move past this on our own, but I think we could. I would miss Sam, but at least I would know that I did the right thing. Staying with him would be selfish, and it would get him hurt.
I think I've hurt him enough for one lifetime with all this crap, I really do.
"We could watch out for each other. It's better than being alone."
"Do you really want to watch them put a bullet in me, Sam? That's what you would be watching out for. And that's what would happen."
I don't even care if I'm the one who draws the short straw, I just don't want it to be Sam. Forget the argument that I would regret leaving him, I would regret staying a hell of a lot more if I turned out to be right about this.
I can handle being alone, I've done it before. When Sam left, I managed for years. What I can't handle is being responsible for his death because I didn't have the common sense to run like I fucking should have.
"Its never going to stop until that happens. So is that the life you want? The two of us looking over our shoulders until one of them has a good day?"
Any one on the team knows that killing us would be like winning the lottery. And I'm sure the price on our heads just went up, so we're becoming more and more popular by the minute.
"Its like I said. I love you, but I refuse to die for you."
That was a lie, but maybe if I get him mad enough he won't realize that more than anything else I'm afraid of him dying for me. Its all about getting him to the right angry place before he can do anything about it.
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"You don't know that."
For all we know, it could be me. And that's not even the point. She doesn't know for sure that's what's going to happen to us. She's assuming the worst because it looks bad.
Usually, that's my job. I assume it's all going to go to hell, and I bolt before anything could happen.
So if I'm the one who thinks we can make it for once, shouldn't that say something too?
"Its never going to stop until that happens. So is that the life you want? The two of us looking over our shoulders until one of them has a good day?"
"Wouldn't we be looking over our shoulders no matter what we did?" There's that, too. What difference does it really make? At least, if we're together, we won't be miserable in the process.
But they won't stop looking for us just because we split up. And we might do a good job of disappearing, but one of them could still wind up having a 'good day'.
"They'd still be coming for us, Carly, no matter what we wind up doing."
"Its like I said. I love you, but I refuse to die for you."
...
I stared at her, not saying anything, and for a second I almost completely bought it. And even when I started telling myself it's bullshit, a part of me still grabbed onto it.
"... You..."
I shook my head, sighing. "That's bullshit." I hope.
"... And even if it was true, you wouldn't be dying for me. They're still coming for us. No matter what we do, no matter how we do it, alone or together."
I'd like to see her start arguing with that.
"Our chances are still shit no matter what, and the likelihood that we're going to wind up dead is still there no matter what, and all this is going to do is make us fucking miserable."
I can't believe she thinks anythinge else. It doesn't make any sense. At all.
"And you know it. So you can't want this."
She just... She can't.
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