(no subject)
I've been supie depressed lately. I don't know if it's because of the sudden weather change, all my friends being away at skewl, all my friends being coupled off, or if I'm just a total baby. I just feeeeel lonely. I miss my old life. I miss the days when you didn't make plans with your friends, you just knew you'd see each other everyday. I miss when Farley and Jade were dating because Swanny and Jade got along and we all hung out. I miss when we'd all be together 24/7, have sleep overs everyday, and Ouija. I miss when Besty and Brandon were home and we knew everyday was GG's and Bucky's no questions asked. But now everyones gone. They have skewl, work, girlfriends. I don't go to skewl, work is seriously a joke I work 2 or 3 days a week, and I don't date girls. NBD. I feel like in high school I had so many groups of friends and talked to everyone.. but now I have a small group of friends and were all growing up and growing apart. Not like our friendships change just we all have stuff to do. Well, except me. I sit at home everyday in my bed watching TV. Oh so perductive. And yeah I have Caitlyn and people I could call but they aren't my bestfriend. Yeah they're good friends but I can't just see them everyday and do nothing and have things be fine. It has to be a planned adventure or something with them. IDK IDK IDK.
And now I feel like for the 3rd time in a row a guy has told me "it's just not the right time." Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Ok dude... stop with this whole its not you it's me, I need time bullshit. How is it not the right time? You want me to call you next Tuesday? is Tuesday good for you? Around 3pm? Naw... how about Friday... Fridays good for me... I understand Steve and I were getting really serious pretty fast here and that wasn't really the plan. But now you wana be honest and tell me you can't do serious now, that you want to give me 100% but feel like you'd only give me 80% right now, and then expect it to be the same and me not to be upset and just have fun. Uhm no sir. It can't be like that. I have to look out for myself. I realized no one looks out for you, so you need to take care of yourself. I'm not saying I'm going to go out and look for a different guy... but do you honestly want me to just act like were fine perf dating friends, expect soemthing, and then get hurt when it doesn't happen. I can't wait around and hurt myself more and more.
I just want my Marvin so thing will be fine. And I want another tattoo asap! OKPERF!
And now I feel like for the 3rd time in a row a guy has told me "it's just not the right time." Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Ok dude... stop with this whole its not you it's me, I need time bullshit. How is it not the right time? You want me to call you next Tuesday? is Tuesday good for you? Around 3pm? Naw... how about Friday... Fridays good for me... I understand Steve and I were getting really serious pretty fast here and that wasn't really the plan. But now you wana be honest and tell me you can't do serious now, that you want to give me 100% but feel like you'd only give me 80% right now, and then expect it to be the same and me not to be upset and just have fun. Uhm no sir. It can't be like that. I have to look out for myself. I realized no one looks out for you, so you need to take care of yourself. I'm not saying I'm going to go out and look for a different guy... but do you honestly want me to just act like were fine perf dating friends, expect soemthing, and then get hurt when it doesn't happen. I can't wait around and hurt myself more and more.
I just want my Marvin so thing will be fine. And I want another tattoo asap! OKPERF!