Today is my birthday.

If any of you attempt to sing to me I hope you've written your wills and do not mind an unmarked grave site.

And if you insinuate that I am older than dirt, I shall ensure you die in a very painful and slow way.

I honestly don't know what you lot are going on about.  You're all making quite the racket, and it's fussing up my concentration.

I'm not affected.

[this is a blatant lie, as behind Orochimaru right now, there are three shades; his mother and father, and the Third Hokage.

But nobody knows that, now, do they?]

[there is a brief crackle of static, and then a few minutes of silence, broken only by the sound of birds and wind through leaves.  Then there is a very soft hiss, and a soft, indulgent laugh]

My, my, it's starting to get too quiet around here, I think.

[cuts off after another hiss]

My, my... I haven't been this happy in a long time.

[watching as a large snake he's summoned slithers off into the forest]

Nor have I felt as good in a long time.  Not since my days in Akatsuki have I felt so perfectly wonderful; and I must say, I'm rather enjoying it.  And since things have been so boring around here, perhaps it is in my best ( Read more... )

So.

I think it goes without saying that I'll not be fielding questions.

[Private to Gaara]
I think, on this matter we may be in agreement.

[Private to Itachi]
My, my.  Aren't you good with children?

Do not think my designs have at all changed because of your kindness.  It was a falsity, such as your whole family is full of.

[Private to Ukitake]
I shall ( Read more... )

It's been a week, almost... I wonder if Tsunade and Jiraiya and Sarutobi-sensei are looking for me.  I wonder if they'd be able to take me home.  It's nice here though.  Itachi-san makes me food and I sleep in his house.  He is nice for an Uchiha.  All the ones I've met have been stuck-up.

I feel like I should help out here though, because Sarutobi- ( Read more... )

[Have a seven-year-old Orochimaru, standing by himself and looking very frowny and confused]

This isn't Konoha.  Where am I?  Where's Sarutobi-sensei?  We were just at--  *bites back my parents' graves out of seven-year-old Oro pride* --never mind.

Tsunade?  Can't believe...Jiraiya?  Where are you guys?

[Private | Hackable by the Ninjas]

The little Kazekage wasn't lying, and it's not just because of the stress of being thrown into a new place... Damn it all.

This grass does make a nice cushion, though.

[Orochimaru is sitting against a tree in the forest, looking not at all his usual immaculate self.  He has been attempting to draw chakra in defiance ( Read more... )

Well.  Not even a day in this place, and--

It could be a worse color, I suppose, one more hideous than this.  But if this is an experiment--an explanation of my arrival here that I still do not accept--then it is a damned strange one.

And the purpose of this--this child's toy appearing beside me.  It is also pink, and I have been unable to dispose of ( Read more... )

 Death is not something that becomes me, I believe, if when it happens I am deposited here…whatever barbarian forest this place might be. Although to be certain I’ve been in worse…

Trees outside… they put me in mind of the forests of Konoha. If I am back there, the kami have a sense of humor I do not like one bit, but at least then I am not dead.
My ( Read more... )